Welcome To The Cavern

Autobots edition: (parental units: 101)

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“At ease decepticons. Take your seats.”

Megatron orders, waiting for his soldiers old and new to be seated before he can sit himself, once they have settled he sat down himself.

“As you all know, we have ourselves new soldiers in our ranks. Mixmaster, scrapper and Soundwave.” He gestures, scrapper waved as mix nodded his helm.

“They have been branded the decepticon insignia and have pledged their allegiance for our cause. With that being said, we shall begin.” He informs, bringing up some old and familiar slides… which means one thing.

Causing starscream to groan in protest, while Lugnut, blitzwing and blackarachnia chuckled, already knowing what this meeting is specifically about.

“For those who know well enough how our species dwindle in numbers there are different types of protoforms, such as--.” He stops, changing to the next slide of protoform types.

“--The femme protoforms, the mech protoforms and as a much rarer case these days unfortunately, the sparkling protoform.” He points out, confusing the two constructions and the boombox.

“As for those who don’t, this is our species young also known as ‘a baby’ as what humans called it.” The constructicons oooh’d at this and Soundwave nodded, very quietly observing the three frames.

“And before you ask, yes there’s different ways on how they’re made. One of them is just very awkward to talk about.” He added, moving onto the next slide, showing a picture of a happy femme and mech with their sparkling.

“As parental units, they are equipped with parental protocols. For taking care of their sparklets, giving them their needs and guiding them through their lives until they’re ready to take on the world by themselves, with that being said--.”

The warlord stopped, took a deep vent and slamming his servos on the table, making the decepticons flinch.

“They are also the most. Dangerous. Type of bots. on the planet!” He roars, optics glowing dangerously red before calming down inbetween vents as optics went dim. “If their sparklet is in immense danger or are in deep distress.” He states.

Going onto the next slide, there is an image of a very distressed sparkling, being carried by a mech. “Bot’s with parental controls will do anything and everything for their children. Which also means keeping them from danger.”

The slide went onto another image, this was of a minibot… carrying ten times the amount of weight that even warframes struggle with.

“Because of their parental protocols and responsibilities, they have no limits when it comes to speed, agility and strength. Meaning a minicon or minibot can easily lift you up without fail.”

He describes, watching the new cons, even his usually high ranking soldiers- who took these lessons multiple times -stare at the image in both horror, fear and awe. It’s quite entertaining nonetheless.

“And as what happened in ‘the incident.’ Starscream made the mistake of trying to forcefully take the sparkling away from their carrier. Big mistake.”

Blitzwing switched faces to random, chuckling silently as well as the other decepticons. “I remember that incident well.” Blackarachnia giggled poisonously. Starscream shrunk into his seat, an impressive scowl on his faceplate as he crossed his restarlueus.

“What happened?” Scrapper asks, arching his optic ridge at his it all happened. “Glad you asked. When he had done that despite my warnings--.”

He pauses when starscream protested and pleaded. Without even batting an optic, the next image was a video on the screen. The video is of starscream’s top half cemented in the cybertronian ground while his lower half kicked wildly and madly.

“This is the results of ignoring my warnings.”

And everybody bursted out laughing, both the new and older members of the decepticons. Even Soundwave was laughing, albeit silently but it’s still noticeable since it’s that funny. Megatron chuckled, lightening up the atmosphere a bit.

“Yes, while this is technically still funny. My point still stands.” Megatron affirms, settling down in his chair once more, his optics sharp and dangerous.

“We don’t separate their sparklings, we don’t agitate them and we don’t threaten them.” He lists off, digits counting on the important things.

“And if any of you ever. Ever. Try that kind of thing in my presence or gloat about it….” He pauses briefly, servo on top of the other as he stares directly at them all.

“I’ll personally send you lot to unicron’s pit, where you all stand. Understood?”

Every con in his vicinity gulped at that, nodded their helms in agreement at the warlord’s terms, even his cowardly SIC nodded himself since the experience was first hand before becoming his second commander.

Soundwave then raised his own servo. “Soundwave: has a query.” He spoke, megatron let his restarlueus fall, relaxing against the back of his chair.

“You may speak.” He nods once, giving the mecha permission to speak his query. “Megatron: has experience with this?”

“Hm? What do you mean?” He asks arching his optic ridge at Soundwave. “Megatron: distressed, physically upset by starscreams actions.” He tells.

Megatron took a deep invent, shutting down his optic lids and opening them once more.

“I can neither confirm… nor can I deny that I had experience.”

______________________________

… I’m drawing a blank on this one.

I know I can write better jokes and write better stories and do better, I know it!

… *slumps over my work table* *muffled* but I ain’t got zilch on how I can improve on this one. So, here. If you wanna read the autobot’s version just click on the underlined words next to autobot edition.

Part 3.5

________________________

“ we had limited options, but now we have NONE! So thanks for that!”

“No son or daughter of cybertron is born without a cog.” Alpha trion stated, making the four helms turn to the older mech and d stepped forward towards him. “Oh, yeah. I've been with myself since I came online and--.” D bangs his fist on his chest.

D bangs his fist on his chest, gesturing the cog hole. “--this slots always been empty.” He finished as elita walked up next to d-16, with b-127 in her arms.

“So… what you’re saying is….” She paused, looking down at her own with bee doing the same, placing his tiny servo on his chassis. “No. No way!” Bee screamed, shaking his helm.

“No one can be that evil. Not even sentinel… right?” He asked, looking up at Orion, elita and d-16. They each held their own expression but it tells them everything they need to know. “I’m afraid so… if your cog isn’t present as well.”

There was no exchange, no sound other than bee’s whimpers, orion’s shushes as he held the sparkling in his arms and d-16’s intense venting.

_____________________________

Megatron is in a bit of a slump.

Out of all the things he has to deal with, he never thought writers block would be one of them, it’s honestly a bit pretentious if you ask him.

This month’s creative writing was supposed to be about the fiery passion of victory, where they shall prevail no matter how many losses they have endured, that kind of lose is the fuel that feeds the flame!

…. But he can’t think of anything that can actually ignite his creativity. ‘Soundwave was right, we should’ve never done today’s energon raid.’

I like your mega-dad au but its a bit hard to navigate-

N-no I don’t, I’m thinking about getting an account though but I don’t think I’m ready just yet.

As for the mess, I am so sorry I’ll see to it that it’ll get cleaned up if I remember, but only for like…. Actual story series, the skits however stay messy since there isn’t a lot of context.

I’ll try to keep my stories on here more accessible and more organised here.

(Part 3-3)

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“M-my lord! Mercy!”

Starscream cried, grasping at the bigger mech’s servo around his neck guard. “I beg you!”

He gasps, the feral leader grumbled low as his denta bared with an animalistic growl, optics dark and piercing.

Bumblebee watched from where he was dropped from the seeker, he tried to move but his frame didn’t respond… he couldn’t move, he didn’t want to move.

his frame shook and his optics unfocused on the scene in front of him.

He thought about every possible outcome, every decision and every action that he made that would probably turn him into scrap metal once he switches-.

____________________

Stephanie paced back and forth outside their area.

She had been doing this a lot for a very long time now, in her hands is a simple wild flower she picked up next to one of the old cabins.

And Stephanie is so VERY nervous about this. Courtship is supposed to be a man’s job normally… unless you’re in Japan according to terry, whatever that means-.

Stephanie shook her head and groaned, if she could, she’d throwing her head up in frustration. But alas her head is attached so she can’t be literal in her approach-.

“Hey Steph!”

Note: a lot of it might be kidnap to adopt… so-

_____________________________________

*kidnap to adopt au*

Bumblebee, struggling: whatever you want, I won’t be willing!

Megatron: oh, you’ll be willing, I’ll make it.

Bumblebee, slightly scared:

Megatron, bringing out the paper work: just sign this, that’s all I need from you.

Bumblebee: … are these adoption papers?

Megatron, delighted: yes! It’s come to my attention that you don’t have a caretaker and I would be glad to be your sire, just sign here please.

Bumblebee:

———

*kidnap to adopt au*

Starscream, entering: megatron, please tell Soundwave to stop.

Soundwave, following behind: [Soundwave] has no recollection of this event.

Megatron: stop what?

Starscream: stop Soundwave trying to adopt more cassettes! We already have two of those brats to deal with!

Megatron: oh, no that one’s on me actually. That adoption paperwork is mine.

Soundwave:

Starscream:

Starscream & Soundwave: w h a t?

———

Bumblebee: Hey dad/mom I have a question.

Megatron, drinking energon tea: shoot.

Bumblebee: with that time where you had the heart of cybertron… why were you all lying down on the ground with empty energon cubes around you?

Megatron:

Megatron: uhhh, we kind of celebrated our little victory during that time-.

Bumblebee: you guys were drunk weren’t you?

Megatron: yes we were drunk, however! I ain’t a lightweight!

———

*Kidnap to adopt au*

Ironhide: darn decepticon scum! Once I get my hands on’ em!

Spike: easy now ironhide, we just gotta tell Optimus what happened.

Ironhide: yeah, yer’ right. Hope bumblebee will be alright.

*later at the decepticon base*

Bumblebee, eating homemade energon cookies:

Megatron, on the other side of their interrogation table: … any good?

Bumblebee: tastes like home…. But no, I’m still not signing those papers so you can adopt me.

Megatron: blasted! Foiled again!

———

*kidnap to adopt au… again-*

Bumblebee, just woke up: morning guys! *yawns* what did I miss?

Tracks: first of all: we got a new human friend.

Bumblebee: nice! Whats the second thing?

Tracks: Megatron threatened me to give you this before he fled.

Bumblebee: throw that away, those are adoption papers that I will not sign.

Tracks:

Bumblebee:

Tracks: why is this a regular thing for you?

———

*season 4 shenanigans*

Bumblebee, visiting the decepticons memorial: … hey dad, it’s me. Hi Thundercracker, Skywarp… some seeker’s peds I don’t recognise.

Ghost! Starscream: ahem.

Bumblebee:

Ghost! Starscream:

Bumblebee: ok never mind, hi starscream’s peds-. Wait! You’re dead?!

Ghost! Starscream: indeed bug, now scram.

Bumblebee: not right now! I’m visiting and mourning my sire you scrap!

———

*turned into a sparkling au*

Megatron: you wished to see me, Soundwave-.

Baby bee: *gurgling and cooing while grabbing at his peds*

Soundwave: [megatron]: this is the emergency. [Decepticons]: don’t have the protocol to dealing with autobot this young-… [megatron?]

Megatron, already holding a giggling baby bee: hi there~! N’aww you’re so adorable~, yes you are~!

Soundwave:

Starscream:

Soundwave: [queary]: is this a dream?

Starscream: nope, not even my brain can’t make this scrap up.

———

*kidnap to adopt au*

Megatron: autobot, this will be a lot easier. if you’d just accept this.

Bumblebee: I’m still not signing any adoption paperwork.

Megatron: please.

Bumblebee: no.

Megatron please.

Bumblebee: no.

Megatron: I beg you.

Bumblebee: no.

Skywarp: how long has this been going on for?

Thundercracker: about almost an hour now, they’re both so stubborn.

———

*babybee au*

Bumblebee: pppttthhh

Megatron: pppttthhh

Bumblebee, giggling: pppttthhh!

Megatron, chuckling: pppttthhh!

Shockwave, entering the room: ehem. My lord, if I may ask-.

Megatron:

Bumblebee, cheekily: pppttthhh!

Shockwave: … never mind, you seem clearly busy. I’ll go ask Soundwave.

———

Megatron: --and that is why I will never let that happen again.

Bumblebee: … you’re a hypocrite, sire.

Megatron, sputtering: name one time I was a hypocrite-.

Bumblebee: kidnapping gears, turning the humans against us by impersonation, turning the autobots evil, agreeing to that Deceptitran guy about the mermaid people, multiple kidnappings and torture of bots back on cybertron shall I keep going?

Megatron:

Megatron: I need room for improvement.

———

*inspired by a Go! Go! Transformers comic*

Bumblebee! W-wha?! Where’s my energon?!?!

Megatron, eating bee’s energon on him: looking for this?

Bumblebee:

Bumblebee: aww, c’mon! Not the dad/mom tax!

Megatron, smug: indeed, don’t worry I’m sure Optimus will make you some more.

_____________________________________

Phew! Been a while since I’ve done some g1 skits.

Sorry about that, I’ve just-… really, really! Got dragged into the transformers animated hole after writing sooooo much stuff in it left to right.

___________________________________

“AAAAAARRRRRGGHHH!!!”

Megatron heard, making the mech jump at the sound but controlled enough for it to pass as unnoticeable.

With an arched optic ridge he undoubtedly told swindle he’ll call him back in a bit. Trudging through the halls with a controlled pace, he’s gotten a lot of questions from his other subordinates.

Telling them he’ll handle it as he walks past Lugnut came running. “My lord! Thank primus I found you in time.” He says, undoubtedly thankful as megatron shoos his soldiers away. “Is there an issue Lugnut?” He asks

His most loyal soldier nodded, a worrying look on the wrecker as he turned from the hallway he walked down from.

“Very much, I came as soon as I could when he requested for you, he seemed very distraught at something, looks like he’s about to combust and, and-.”

Megatron placed his servos on Lugnut’s palderons before shaking him out of his spiral. “Feel better now?” He asks, Lugnut nodded. “Good. Now vent and tell me what’s wrong?” Lugnut took a deep breath and sighed.

“It’s your heir megatron.” He finally got out. “He needs you.”

That did not take long for megatron to immediately head to his private quarters in not time at all.

He canceled every meeting he had that evening, told his subordinates he won’t be there for quite a while and grabbed every strawberry alloy sweetener energon he had on the ship.

He had a feeling his son isn’t in the best state according to how loud that yell was, how lugnut immediately went to find him and looked worried for a bot that can’t show much emotion in those five optics.

Once he opened his quarter doors… he saw a whole lot of electrical burns and damage around his room, even the floor was damaged too.

‘I just waxed that.’ He thinks, but that train of thought is immediately forgotten once he sees his uncontrollably sobbing heir underneath the covers he generously gave (despite stealing it once again)

His baby needs him more than ever, whatever happened to him.

“Babybee?” He asks carefully. Bumblebee, revealed himself from under the covers, tears stained his faceplate as his lower derma quivered. “Mama?”

Megatron’s expression turned to worry, his son’s voice box is glitchy and raspy from strain. “Hey babybee, I’m here.” He says quietly, placing the flavoured sweetener energon down and bringing his son’s into his arms.

Hushing and rubbing his back, continuing to sob and bury his faceplate into his chest. “It’s ok, shhh. I’m here, mama’s here, mama’s here.”

Megatron repeats, wiping the tears away whenever bee lifts his helm before burning against the chassis again, by the time he finally calmed down he’s sitting in his lap with a very pitiful look on his faceplate.

“May you tell me what troubles you, my son?”

“…no. Just some- *sniff* just a very bad cycle.” He admits, wiping the remaining tears that fell down his faceplate. “Non-stop reports, humans trying to take over Seattle, starscream showed up, repairs are a pain-.”

Megatron nods, listening to every bad thing that has happened today, some of these he’s already been doing almost daily… so what made him this upset.

“-- but that’s not the worst that has happened….”

‘Not the worst? Primus how badly did this final straw affected bee?’ He wonders rubbing circles on bee’s back, careful to not accidentally activate the speed booster.

“The worst that happened was… *sniff* I didn’t get any sleep at all!” He shouted, bursting into tears again.

‘Ah, it was a minor inconvenience turned major once settled in.’ He thinks, remembering the last time it had happened when he skipped nap time. “There there, it’s ok babybee. Tell you what--.”

He stopped briefly, grabbing the treats he had put down on the birth and showed it to his son. “--how about we eat some strawberry allow flavoured energon candies that I had made a couple of cycles ago, and we’ll go for a nap, hm?” He asks, wiping the coolant tears away once more.

Bumblebee nodded and smiled, despite the exhaustion he’s still feeling. “I’d like that… but maybe just some normal savoury energon today?”

Bee requested, surprising the warlord so suddenly. “… I missed how you make your homemade energon cubes.” He admits, leaning against his sire as the former leader smiles down at his son’s simple request.

“Very well, it has been some time since I’ve made some.”

He muses, noticing that bumblebee didn’t respond, he looked down and saw him fast asleep. Literally, he was awake before but fell quickly asleep.

Megatron shook his helm with an amused smile and lied him down on his berth, covering his frame with the blanket Isaac sumdac gave him.

It was never made for him, it was for bee. He just request it.

“Recharge well baby.” He whispers, giving him a peck on his forehelm. Megatron then went off, threaded his fingers from both his servos and made the metal creak.

He’s got a lot of work to do before his son awakes and returns to his friends.

Besides, he missed making bee his favourite fuel.

He isn’t about to waste that opportunity.

___________________________________

This story is based off of this ask (right here)

A request story for @purpalwolf1214 it was such a very good concept idea and I had to write it! I was gonna put it as a blurrbee scenario… but I thought against it-.

Instead I went for a personal experience of when i wasn’t feeling the best, I was heavily tired, hadn’t had any sleep and kind of… broke down into tears over how overstimulated I was.