#transformers skits

_____________________________________

*kidnap to adopt au*

Megatron: I know over 200 ways to kill a mech, autobot.

Bumblebee, cemented against the wall: do you glue an open jar of scraplets to a bots face, then blowtorch the other side of the jar so the scraplets have to eat their way out through their faceplate?

Autobots:

Decepticons:

Megatron: … make that 201.

Starscream: how the scrap is that not part of the 200 you already know?!?!!

———

Ultra Magnus, video calling from teletran 1: wait, wait, wait… megatron actually signed his own signature in the protection law?!

Optimus prime: yes. That is precisely what happened, here’s the documents with his signature on it.

Ultra Magnus: I-.. I don’t-.. how’d you convince him?

Optimus prime: didn’t have to. It also helped that bumblebee. His son forged with his energon. Introduced the documents to megatron for him to look over.

Bumblebee, popping up: is that ultra Magnus?

Optimus: yes bee, it is.

Bumblebee: nice! Hi Magnus! Oh before I go, you might want to warn sentinel about my mom/dad. He’s not gonna hold back and put him in the well while giving him the fear of primus as a ‘celebratory gift’ no matter what side wins.

Optimus:

Ultra Magnus: …… I fear for that cadet. And your crew.

———

*Shattered glass parental megs au*

Sg!bumblebee, being the most unhinged gremlin ever: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Take that! Decepticon scum!

Sg! Megatron, just spotting bumblebee: *waves* hi son!

Sg! Bumblebee, shocked and embarrassed: ah! I-I’m not your son! Frag off!

Sg! Megatron, just happy bumblebee’s ok after the crash: I love you too!

Sg! Starscream: he-… he told you to frag off though…

Sg! Megatron: he’s going through his angry phase, every autobot does. *checks his comm messages* he says he’ll visit when he can and said sorry.

Sg! Starscream: I admire your admiration, dedication and kindness, sir.

———

*Prowlbee*

Megatron, confronting prowl: so… we finally meet.

Prowl, kidnapped: whatever it is you want out of me, you’ll never-… why is there energon in front of me-.. is this a dinner meeting?

Megatron, sitting across the dinner table he made: I just wanted to let you to know. You. Have my full permission and my blessing for when you two wed.

Prowl: … what?

Megatron: Though of course, I’ll still come after you if you hurt my baby bee. Just note: this might be a regular occurrence.

Prowl: … this is a very weird thing to do for a future son-in-law, do you do this with everyone?

Megatron: no. Just the ones that I find worthy, you’re not a worthy opponent. But you’re worthy of my son’s hand.

Prowl:

———

*Sparkling bumblebee au*

Megatron: you must do me proud soldier. So rise! Rise up! And take your rightful place as the dominating force of destruction. And slay thy future enemies!

Babybee, sitting cross legged and giggling:

Babybee, reaching for megatron: mama!

Megatron:

Megatron, fondly: oh alright, *picks sparkling up* but you’ll have to start taking your first steps at some point, ok?

———

Bumblebee, on monitor duty:

Bumblebee, without looking up: hi mom/dad

Megatron, spying with the spy drone: primus-!! … how’d you know it was me.

Bumblebee: who else spies on me and the rest of the crew while someone is on monitor duty?

Megatron:

Megatron: fair point. When you’re done, clean your room.

Bumblebee: *groans* fine. I’ll see you on the battle field.

———

Megatron, nonchalant: oh, sorry. Do you bots need to use those?

Sentinel ‘Magnus’: w-what?! How!? That stassis cuff is enough to make even omega fall to his knees! How’s that possible?

Megatron: *thinking back*

Megatron, as d-16: c’mon bee, you need this bath

Babybee: no!

Megatron: bee, you’ll get uncomfortable if I leave the mess on your frame, you get easily upset at that too-.

Babybee, upset: NO!!

Megatron, electrocuted: aghfragshgsbdgdhbdbdhbdynotagain-!

*end of flashback*

Megatron: I have my ways.

Megatron, thinking: thank primus for my son’s early developed ability.

———

Longarm: uh… bumblebee, where’s your sire’s note? The one with your family holograph?

Bumblebee: oh, it’s in my personal stuff box, where I put all of my sire’s notes and gifts. Why?

Longarm: oh, well… that’s good, I’d really like to know that recipe he left for you-.

Bumblebee: *big gasp* his homemade savoury energon recipe?! I’ve gotta see it! He makes the best energon fuel, you gotta try it too! Oh! Bulkhead as well-!

Shockwave, thinking: you’ve spoiled him too well, lord megatron.

_____________________________________

Ok dokie, another transformers parental megatron skit.

… yes I did do a Pokémon reference, it’s a good show. I also added some shattered glass in there… because why not.

Also-… that part with megatron being immune to electricity? I kind of wish that was a little bit canon, like-… it would be so funny, soooo troll worthy and very much something megatron would do!

______________________________

Bumblebee, trying to sneak out: almost there

Megatron, from the spy-bot: bumblebee.

Bumblebee, freezes: heheh, hey mom/dad.

Megatron: go to your room, you’re grounded.

Bumblebee, shuffling back: *groans* seriously? Every time?!

———

*Blurrbee*

Blurr: hey bee! I got you some energon smoothies your human friend recommended! I wasn’t sure which one is your favourite so I got multiple flavours there’s at least 50 more of these I’ve gotta grab I’ll be right back!

Bumblebee: wait! Blurr-! Aaaaand there he goes.

Note: a lot of it might be kidnap to adopt… so-

_____________________________________

*kidnap to adopt au*

Bumblebee, struggling: whatever you want, I won’t be willing!

Megatron: oh, you’ll be willing, I’ll make it.

Bumblebee, slightly scared:

Megatron, bringing out the paper work: just sign this, that’s all I need from you.

Bumblebee: … are these adoption papers?

Megatron, delighted: yes! It’s come to my attention that you don’t have a caretaker and I would be glad to be your sire, just sign here please.

Bumblebee:

———

*kidnap to adopt au*

Starscream, entering: megatron, please tell Soundwave to stop.

Soundwave, following behind: [Soundwave] has no recollection of this event.

Megatron: stop what?

Starscream: stop Soundwave trying to adopt more cassettes! We already have two of those brats to deal with!

Megatron: oh, no that one’s on me actually. That adoption paperwork is mine.

Soundwave:

Starscream:

Starscream & Soundwave: w h a t?

———

Bumblebee: Hey dad/mom I have a question.

Megatron, drinking energon tea: shoot.

Bumblebee: with that time where you had the heart of cybertron… why were you all lying down on the ground with empty energon cubes around you?

Megatron:

Megatron: uhhh, we kind of celebrated our little victory during that time-.

Bumblebee: you guys were drunk weren’t you?

Megatron: yes we were drunk, however! I ain’t a lightweight!

———

*Kidnap to adopt au*

Ironhide: darn decepticon scum! Once I get my hands on’ em!

Spike: easy now ironhide, we just gotta tell Optimus what happened.

Ironhide: yeah, yer’ right. Hope bumblebee will be alright.

*later at the decepticon base*

Bumblebee, eating homemade energon cookies:

Megatron, on the other side of their interrogation table: … any good?

Bumblebee: tastes like home…. But no, I’m still not signing those papers so you can adopt me.

Megatron: blasted! Foiled again!

———

*kidnap to adopt au… again-*

Bumblebee, just woke up: morning guys! *yawns* what did I miss?

Tracks: first of all: we got a new human friend.

Bumblebee: nice! Whats the second thing?

Tracks: Megatron threatened me to give you this before he fled.

Bumblebee: throw that away, those are adoption papers that I will not sign.

Tracks:

Bumblebee:

Tracks: why is this a regular thing for you?

———

*season 4 shenanigans*

Bumblebee, visiting the decepticons memorial: … hey dad, it’s me. Hi Thundercracker, Skywarp… some seeker’s peds I don’t recognise.

Ghost! Starscream: ahem.

Bumblebee:

Ghost! Starscream:

Bumblebee: ok never mind, hi starscream’s peds-. Wait! You’re dead?!

Ghost! Starscream: indeed bug, now scram.

Bumblebee: not right now! I’m visiting and mourning my sire you scrap!

———

*turned into a sparkling au*

Megatron: you wished to see me, Soundwave-.

Baby bee: *gurgling and cooing while grabbing at his peds*

Soundwave: [megatron]: this is the emergency. [Decepticons]: don’t have the protocol to dealing with autobot this young-… [megatron?]

Megatron, already holding a giggling baby bee: hi there~! N’aww you’re so adorable~, yes you are~!

Soundwave:

Starscream:

Soundwave: [queary]: is this a dream?

Starscream: nope, not even my brain can’t make this scrap up.

———

*kidnap to adopt au*

Megatron: autobot, this will be a lot easier. if you’d just accept this.

Bumblebee: I’m still not signing any adoption paperwork.

Megatron: please.

Bumblebee: no.

Megatron please.

Bumblebee: no.

Megatron: I beg you.

Bumblebee: no.

Skywarp: how long has this been going on for?

Thundercracker: about almost an hour now, they’re both so stubborn.

———

*babybee au*

Bumblebee: pppttthhh

Megatron: pppttthhh

Bumblebee, giggling: pppttthhh!

Megatron, chuckling: pppttthhh!

Shockwave, entering the room: ehem. My lord, if I may ask-.

Megatron:

Bumblebee, cheekily: pppttthhh!

Shockwave: … never mind, you seem clearly busy. I’ll go ask Soundwave.

———

Megatron: --and that is why I will never let that happen again.

Bumblebee: … you’re a hypocrite, sire.

Megatron, sputtering: name one time I was a hypocrite-.

Bumblebee: kidnapping gears, turning the humans against us by impersonation, turning the autobots evil, agreeing to that Deceptitran guy about the mermaid people, multiple kidnappings and torture of bots back on cybertron shall I keep going?

Megatron:

Megatron: I need room for improvement.

———

*inspired by a Go! Go! Transformers comic*

Bumblebee! W-wha?! Where’s my energon?!?!

Megatron, eating bee’s energon on him: looking for this?

Bumblebee:

Bumblebee: aww, c’mon! Not the dad/mom tax!

Megatron, smug: indeed, don’t worry I’m sure Optimus will make you some more.

_____________________________________

Phew! Been a while since I’ve done some g1 skits.

Sorry about that, I’ve just-… really, really! Got dragged into the transformers animated hole after writing sooooo much stuff in it left to right.

_____________________________________

Bumblebee, back at base after that wrestling match:

Megatron, from the spy-bot: … did you win?

Bumblebee: yeah, I won.

Megatron: excellent, you did me so proud… but you’re grounded.

Bumblebee: scrap.

———

Sari: sooo…. What do think would happen if your mom/dad finds out?

Bumblebee: what’d you mean?

Sari: I mean, with what happened? Since that upgrade of mine… when I stabbed you near your spark?

Bumblebee:

Bumblebee: well he knows now!

Sari: wut?

Megatron, from the spy-bot: SHE DID WHAT?!??!!?

Bumblebee: … he’s been here for a while now, I should’ve told you.

———

*human error*

Optimus prime: so we’re just… stuck like this?!

Ratchet: hard to say, this is very new

Bulkhead: … why is bumblebee baby sized?!

Ratchet: he’s not, that’s a regular normal sized youngling, technically you’re sari’s old height.

Bumblebee: but I’m not even-… scrap! Dad/mom probably gonna coddle me once he see’s this.

Prowl: I’m sure he or she won’t find out bee.

Bumblebee:

Bumblebee: … guys my sire is megatron.

Ratchet:

Ratchet: oh scrap, yeah he would-. How did I forget that?!

———

*this bit is not at all canon, au wise also-*

Blackarachnia: sooooooo… what do you think-?

Megatron:

Megatron: get that thing out of my sight.

Blackarachnia: … wow, that’s rude. And I thought you’d be accepting-.

Megatron: I’m not accepting a bot, THAT DISSEMBLED MY SON’S LEGS AND STUFFED HIM IN A LOCKER BECAUSE OF HIS OWN PRIDE!!

Blackarachnia:

Blackarachnia: *hiss* yeah I’m not saving you anymore, especially for that kind of fuck up.

Waspinator:

Wasp: why does wasp I keep forgetting bumblebot is leader megatron’s son.

———

*after the events, part 1*

Ultra Magnus: megatron, nice to see your locked up for good this time

Megatron, pissed: ultra Magnus, still as punctual as ever I see. Come to gloat? False prime.

Sentinel: hah! Jokes on you I’m gonna be Magnus soon so-.

Ultra Magnus: he’s all yours for the time being, try not to do too much damage and don’t kill him.

Sentinel, suddenly alone: wait what?

Megatron, smiling: gladly.

Sentinel: pfff, yeah right like you can-… where are your stassis cuffs… wait, wait! WAIT-!

———

*before the tfa series events*

Bumblebee: c’mon, I gotta go.

Megatron, peppering his son with platonic kisses: in a minute!

Bumblebee: sire! I’m gonna miss my transport!

Megatron: not until you say it.

Bumblebee, rolling his optics: I love you too, mama.

Megatron: love you too my bundle of immense joy!

———

*before the events of human error*

Megatron: … soundwave, why do you have holoform scans of humans saved in your plans?

Soundwave: a plan: to reprogram the autobots in their recharged state.

Megatron: ah… because humans are the most vulnerable creatures compared to us and bringing them into a state of confusion and fear. Clever.

Soundwave: affirmative. Soundwave, also did the heir’s too… for the fun of it.

Megatron:

Megatron: let me see, that way I can confirm if- *sees the holoform* … yep that’s mY bAbY aLrIgHt.

Soundwave: megatron?: you ok, question?

Megatron, trying not to cry: I’m FiNe

———

*after events, part 2 behind the two way mirror*

Ultra Magnus, cringing: I can’t believe I allowed this, I don’t condone this kind of violence.

Bumblebee, eating energon popcorn: dunno about you, I’m having the time of my life! Popcorn, bossbot?

Optimus prime, grabbing a handful: thank you, while agree with the Magnus… I’m also having the time of my life too.

Ultra Magnus:

Ultra Magnus, mentally: was he that bad?!

Megatron, beating sentinel into a pulp: why didn’t I do this sooner?! This is entertaining as scrap!

———

Bulkhead: hey, bee… what’s your carrier like?

Bumblebee: no idea.

Bulkhead: … you never knew her?

Bumblebee: nope, she died by transformation paralysis before I forged.

Bulkhead:

Bumblebee: it was very hard on sire to talk about, but he hates lying to me about it even more.

Bulkhead: … bumblebee no one says that casually-. It was a horrible disease!!

Bumblebee: I know, my sire was very serious about that topic, he’s also very blunt about it.

———

Bumblebee, presenting him a gift: happy Father’s Day!!

Megatron: … fathers… day?

Bumblebee: yeah! It’s a human celebration to celebrate our parental units that give us life! Y’know the same thing we celebrate! Here!

Megatron, smiling down: thank you, I’ll cherish this forever.

Bumblebee: no problem! Just gotta figure something out for you for mothers next

Megatron:

Megatron: fair enough, we do celebrate both the carrier and sire cycle as a whole

———

Bumblebee: hey, sire… what would you do if I turned back into a spark-.

Megatron: I’d take care of you like I did when you were forged, no changes whatsoever.

Bumblebee:

Bumblebee, mentally: I didn’t even finish my question.

_____________________________________

Wow. I almost forgot about the mom/dad ratio thing.

How’d that happen?! … *shrugs* oh well, I’ve been doing this for a long while now, I’m bound to forget doing that eventually.

_________________________

Megatron, optics on the screen:

Megatron, not even looking: put the canon replica back, sweetspark.

Bumblebee carrying the canon: aw, mom!/dad! I want to show this to bulkhead and sari! They haven’t seen one up close-.

Megatron: you’re holding it with both servos, you’re not carrying it all the way back to Detroit at your base.

Bumblebee, pouting: killjoy *walks back, dragging the ion canon*

Megatron, with a smug grin: love you too baby bee

———

Optimus prime: we have to warn them that longarm is a decepticon spy.

Bumblebee, lightbulb moment: ooooh, yeah that makes a lot of sense now.

Optimus prime: thank primus, you noticed the similarities too?

Bumblebee: nah, just realising why long arm was beyond pissed when I was found in the locker with my legs detached.

Optimus prime, horrified & concerned:

Optimus: bumblebee… please don’t say such things so calmly-!!!

———

Ultra Magnus: Optimus, no matter what happens, keep an optic on anything suspicious.

Optimus: I- we will Magnus, Optimus out.

Ultra Magnus: … Perceptor can you check bumblebee’s file to confirm.

Perceptor, checking the data file: name: bumblebee, designation: b-127, name of sire: d-16…

Ultra Magnus: d-16? Which one?

Preceptor: doesn’t say, apart from his occupation being a retired minor and gladiator… an odd retirement not gonna lie.

Ultra Magnus:

Ultra magnus, hit with realisation: oh. That must be megatron, he told me he was a retired-. That mech has a kid?!

———

Black arachnia: hello Optimus, company. Hi bee!

Optimus prime: black arachnia, please we can-… come again?

Bumblebee in the back, waving: hi arachnia! How’s your week?

Black arachnia: eh, same old shtick, different cycle. You?

Bumblebee: pretty boring, hey if your not busy me and prowl ran into these mechanical organic plants that can take over mechanical machinery

Black arachnia: really? That sounds interesting. Terrifying, but interesting-.

Ratchet: can we have a normal battle for once? Please?!

———

Megatron, holding babybee: … bumblebee-.

Bumblebee, koala grips megatron: nope.

Megatron: bumblebee-.

Bumblebee: nope! I refuse, I ain’t looking!

Megatron: bumblebee we’re not even fully up in the air, we haven’t even reached the top of our home.

Bumblebee, hugs megatron tighter: no! No more going higher! No!

Megatron, sighs: *slowly descents until on the ground* you’re lucky I love you.

———

Sentinel: if you’re really sure that this bot is bumblebee. Then how do we know which is which?

Ratchet: as far as I know, I can do an energon level sample.

Prowl: how about this. We call bumblebee’s sire.

Bumblebee in wasp’s paint: no. No. No. No! He’ll shoot wasp at first sight if he learnt what wasp did! Wasp won’t survive

Wasp in bumblebee’s paint, confused & concerned:

Bulkhead: hmm… i have a better idea to tell who is who.

———

Bumblebee: wait, is that…? It is! CYCLONUS!! *waves*

Cyclonus: *turns smiles and waves before going back into the fight*

Optimus: wait you know him? *points to cyclonus*

Bumblebee: yeah, he used to babysit me whenever mom/dad has an orbital cycle trip, was probably an excuse to meet up with the decepticons.

Optimus, optics wide:

Bulkhead, blinking in complete shock:

Prowl, same as bulkhead:

Ratchet, so done with this: oh for-. What’s next?! *sarcasm* Strika is your aunt twice removed?!

Bumblebee: godcarrier actually, strika’s not related to my sire or carrier so….

The crew:

Ratchet, throwing his hands up: I give up.

———

Bumblebee: hey sire, shanix for your thoughts?

Megatron, leaning on the balcony: ask away, my son.

Bumblebee: just something itching on my processor… what was carrier like? Before i was forged, at least.

—flashback—

Shutter: don’t underestimate me, tyrant! For I am the star warrior shutter, warrior of the blade… *takes out rifle blaster* NOW EAT THIS SUCKA!!!

Megatron: wait what- *almost gets blasted*

—end of flashback—

Megatron:

Megatron: … shes an unpredictable femme, one who keeps my men in line to a T and has not lost in a fight. *sighs* but I love her.

Bumblebee: wait you lost a battle with carrier, before loosing to Optimus?

Megatron, side eyed bee: … cease your smirking son, I didn’t say such a thing.

———

*a megop scenario*

Optimus: i fought him off.

Ratchet: yeah, tell that to the indents on your restarlueus joints.

Bumblebee: are you gonna be ok, bossbot?

Optimus: I’ll be fine bee, fighting megatron has its limits. Especially when he wants to fight me over and over, downside of defeating him once, huh?

Bumblebee, confused:

Ratchet: tell me about it, as far as I know. Once he sets his optics on something, he won’t go down without a fight.

Bumblebee internally: was dad/mom trying to court bossbot? Is he trying to court him??

_________________________

Welp *claps* I hope this’ll be enough until ao3 is back up and running. For some of y’all it’ll probably be longer… I give you guys my best wishes.

… and also these random skits I have.

Disclaimer: that bit with shutter being a warrior of the blade is probably not gonna stay, I’m still figuring out her profession in this au for animated, I just wanted to bring in another owl house reference.

_____________________________________

Bumblebee, sniffling and whimpering, wiping away his tears away:

Megatron, still bodiless and watching from the cameras: who in the pits made my baby cry!

Ratchet, just entering with energon and oil: bee, don’t take what sentinel says to spark. He’s a scrap head anyways, doesn’t know what he’s saying.

Megatron, now with boiling energon lines:

Megatron: I’m going to kill that lowlife excuse of a prime for making my baby bot cry.

———

Ultra Magnus: Perceptor, how do you give your old student a parental guardianship?

Perceptor: … may I ask why, sir?

Ultra Magnus: I need him to fill out this form for bumblebee, I don’t want megatron going after our people here on cybertron.

Perceptor, reading the form: sir, you’ll need more than a few signatures with the Magnus protection protocol, you’ll need the sire’s signature and permission.

Ultra Magnus: what?! Who made that scrap up?!!?

Perceptor: you did. Date, number:_________ you even gave your approval stamp on the matter.

Ultra Magnus:

Ultra Magnus, facepalmed: fragging, damn it.

———

*papa prime scenario*

Optimus, rubbing bee’s back: I am so sorry, I-I thought it was balanced!

Bumblebee, throwing up: I-it’s fine it- *continues hurling up energon* I-it happens no big deAL- *throws up some more*

Prowl: … I’m confused

Ratchet: bumblebee’s half decepticon, his energon has to have a balance of both autobot and decepticon or else he’ll violently reject it by purging until everything is balanced out.

Prowl: ooooooh… so thats why Optimus did bumblebee’s separately from our own.

Bulkhead, also have been chucking up energon: ugh, guys… I think I drank bee’s energon- *hurling up the fuel*

Ratchet: aaaaaaand that’s my que, I’ll go get my tools. And also some more buckets.

———

Longarm (shockwave) before knowing: ok, all I have to do is simply redirect the bumbler into thinking he’s right and then it’s all over, I won’t have to deal with him again-.

*after eavesdropping Bumblebee’s call with his mom/dad, aka: megatron*

Longarm (shockwave): …. Wasp must pay for all the things he did and said to the prince of the deceptions. He will pay with energon if I have to.

———

Bumblebee, internally: that-… that cannot be my mom/dad.

Megatron, revealed and sneering: we meet yet again, autobots.

Bumblebee, now deadpanned, still internally: nope. That’s him, that’s definitely my mom/dad

———

*blitzbee on a date*

Bumblebee: today was such a blast! much better now that I get to spend the rest of the day with you~.

Blitzwing: indeed~, shall ve talk and gossip about our fractions, take a stroll or try somezing different.

Bumblebee: hmm… maybe just a walk is alright- are you serious!!

Blitzwing: vhat? I didn’t even say any-. *optics widened* l-lord megatron!

Megatron, optics darkening towards blitzwing: keep your servos to yourself soldier.

Bumblebee: moooom!/daaaad! I’m an adult! Go back to your hideout already!

Megatron: you’re still my sparkling son, you’ll always be my baby bee-.

Bumblebee: mom!/dad!

———

Bumblebee: bulkhead? I have something for you.

Bulkhead, stares down at the present: buddy, Y’know my forge day isn’t until a few-

Bumblebee: I-i know but… that earth holiday is in a few earthdays so. Here.

Bulkhead: *takes and opens the gift* … a datapad and.. light-pen? Is this-?!

Bumblebee: yep! Wasn’t easy finding a replaceable light-pen.

Bulkhead: wha-.. how’d you find it?! Data-drawing pads aren’t cheap and probably discontinued. How’d you-?!

Bumblebee: it was… actually my carrier’s data drawing pad. I don’t have a use for it since it’s not much of my thing, but it makes you happy so..

Bulkhead: wow, you didn’t have to but… thanks bee

———

*megop situation… ish*

Bumblebee, chilling with megatron:

Megatron, quietly reading:

Bumblebee: you’re trying to court my boss. Aren’t you?

Megatron, comedically spits out energon:

Megatron, with a heated faceplate: … I can remarry, bee.

Bumblebee: that’s my boss!

———

*bumblebee prime comic…? Is that the name?*

Bumblebee, staring at the computer screen: hmmm….

Ratchet: problem kid?

Bumblebee: a little bit, just a weird question that’ll never get answered.

Ratchet: how so?

Bumblebee: … how did MEGATRON!! OF ALL BOTS. BAG MY CARRIER?!!

Ratchet:

Ratchet: kid… W h a t?!

———

Starscream, now with his body back: megatron.

Megatron, already over it: starscream.

Starscream: … let me destroy the autobots. They’re all a bunch of nuisances, especially that weak yellow annoy-.

Megatron: touch that mechling and you’ll not only die by my hand, but be destroy beyond measures not even the well of all spark can recognise you.

Starscream:

Starscream, internally: … guess I’m not recharging tonight… or ever.

_____________________________________

Pfff, haha. Ok, but imagine this.

Bumblebee became a prime, he has all access to private information, including info about his late carrier as well as his missing sire.

… and get blasted in the face by discovering the warlord of most wars crimes in cybertron is also your missing sire. How devastating would that be finding out while you’re a prime?

Jokes aside, sorry I’m not as active for the past few… uh, days? Weeks…? I’m unsure at this point, my wifi is a bit weird and wonky at the moment.

Any continuation, really... but mostly animated-.

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Starscream: as another me in your universe, how is your immortality doing?

Parental megs starscream, terrified: I wish I died long before the allspark piece lodged in my fore-helm.

Starscream: … what? What kind of moronic wish is that-?

Parental megs starscream: no, no, no, no, no. You-! You don’t understand! My megatron has parental protocols!

Starscream: pff- hah! So yours is weaker than-

Parental megs starscream: he tore apart lockdown. Limb. After limb. For shooting at his heir.

Starscream, shocked beyond relief:

Parental megs starscream: my megatron ain’t weak in this universe. He’s stronger. Be glad he’s not a parental unit in your universe.

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Yeah, this ain’t canon in my au… at all, I just wanted to write all this down.

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Captured by decepticons.

Not one of the many things on optimus’ list of things that could happen but here he is, in stasis cuffs. “I’ve got to get out of here, somehow-.”

He was about to mumble… then the door opened with a *kksshh* he shut his optics tightly. ‘Don’t be megatron, don’t be megatron, do not be megatron.’ He chanted In his head, really hoping it’s not-.

“Hello to you too, autobot.”

Optimus’ optics shot open with furrowed ridges, he swore his faceplate says ‘the teacher is right behind you as you graffitied his desk’ and he’d never entirely do that sort of thing.

‘Scrap. Thanks a lot primus.’ Optimus thinks sarcastically, keeping his helm away in the presence of the warlord.