But then you start thinking of writing fanfiction or at least write down stuff you remember, and then you decide that maybe you should do a prank on someone, it would be hilarious to see an old bot be shocked by reading about the concept of jumping on it and you have done it before, stealing a datapad that’s not your own, typing on it and basically leaving it back in its spot, hiding it a bit so the poor cybertronian would assume they displaced it, and watch them struggle and sensing their EM field pause when they see the naughty absolutely nasty smut their optics ever seen in there datapad.

Reader being a menace and getting the sense of humor from it because everything around the place that was your job is boring, yeah sure it’s peaceful and the sometimes shitty bots come in to push you around, so revenge comes shining when you see that a higher up’s datapad is out in the open and you grin so evilly when you decide to steal it and replace their report with smut and deciding to make it extra kinky and pede-curling that it would have made a mech take his visor off.

Evilly smirking as you decide to be extra and you put a bit of the report in at the end so the illusion of the report is there and they won’t notice the smut you wrote in, placing the datapad back under the guise of finding it, and of course acting your best when the higher up push you around and snatches their datapad back rudely, but you are smirking when you are back to your berth, almost chuckling and wondering if that higher up was scared out of their wits when they represent that report only to show the equivalent of hardcore pornography, you are thinking they are punished but oh well, another day another Shanix….

Only you fail to realize that the higher up is sending that datapad to THE 13 Primes, the same primes that are eloquent, stood for justice and purity of the Cybertronian way, loyalty, they could easily compose flowery statements about anything minor and make them sound impactful as a sun exploding….

And suddenly, as they thought it was going to be another day of work and receiving reports from appointed officials, as they were about to retire, one more report comes in, and Prima just looks through it and-

Pauses…. Not a small pause, like a pause in their entirety, like their EM field is noticeably hitched, the other Primes are concerned, wondering what did a report do that made them pause that much?!

“Prima…? What’s wrong- oh…. Oh!” One of the other Primes asked before Prima silently showed them the datapad, from the beginning, the other Primes are now basically gathered around the Datapad like a bunch of curious turbofoxes.

Megatronus is looking at it and despite his mask, his eyes are wide, Vector Prime actually looked surprised, Almagamous Prime is smiling so wide as his servo is covering it, Onyx Prime felt something jolt in his spark. Micronus is gasping at each sentence, Alchemist had his hands on the datapad and reading it again as though it was a blink and you miss it.

Even Liege Maximo is stuttering as he is trying to read the Datapad only to end up not speaking for a good moment.

“A what in the what..???”

“By Primus—“

“H-huh?- Oh! Oh… what we can do that?….”

“The neck cables?!”

“Watching as they huh—? And they- PRIMUS!”

“….what is this ‘doggy style’?….”

“Pulling the wires and putting— oh By the Allspark-!”

Next day, you are just doing your job, another moment everyone is confused when there’s another inspection, but instead of the higher up they were dreading, suddenly they see Megatronus Prime strutting in with a grace of a gladiator, Prima comes in last but he is still stunning as the rest of them and while you look in awe, you suddenly start to piece together why they even came—

You look at the datapad they have in a container, they opened it up, and by the slivers of words you caught when they showed it to your manager, you only blinked as your EM field paused a bit, like a little flinch, before you start to slowly back away.

In the words of the The Last Unicorn,”Never run from anything immortal, it attracts their attention”, and in all honesty you were backing away and trying to slip away from the crowd of mechs and femmes that were being interviewed to see if they were the ones who wrote what was on that datapad.

You were almost successful until a snitch caught you and now you’re running for your life while Megatronus is onto you, and if it wasn’t for you quick enough wits to throw yourself into a transit line for supplies and other miscellaneous stuff, you would’ve been cooked—

Right as you sigh in relief, the transit stops…. It moves- in reverse… suddenly you’re plucked out by enforcer type bots, the type that usually would have beaten any bots into submission, only they transport you to the Primes, and now you’re in a large splendid room and a whole council and everything, it felt like the first job interview and a courtroom.

You just think about,’Damn… smut so severe it’s a crime against cyber-manity….’

Reader just thinking about their short lifespan on earth, then cybertronian, being like “do I regret it?…. Nah, lmfao first bot to write fanfiction, that’s forever!” And right as they are thinking about they are basically going to get executed or empurata or something—

You are suddenly deemed the Primes’ Consort.

Yes, just because you wrote about the first EVER— what many archivists consider… Cybertronian Bedroom Manual.

Reader when they see the Primes at their job (They read your smut—):