public universal dyke

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

Oh, so when YOU grab a Danish for a quick snack, it's a guilt-free, tasty little treat. But when I, Grendel,

when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow

got that dog in me and mitski has been showing financial interest in it

something stupid this way sucks

literally thank god sex isnt real and was just invented by big fiction to emphasize greater social and psychological themes i was getting scared id have to do all that

has anyone else spent all of january with "Objective: Survive" displayed on the left side of their HUD

[guy confused about lesbian relationship voice]: okay ... so which one only tells lies?

here's to another year of being a substance abusing pseudo intellectual

there are literally worse things than being in a saw trap like for instance openly expressing that you have wants and needs and are a real person

Boy Pussy Memorial Hospital and Restaurant

we've been doing this thing called "hitting the nosferatu" where you hunch your shoulders and walk towards things while pointing with a long creepy finger

Seasonal Affective Disorder is just emotional scurvy, all my core wounds are reopening and they won't be fixed until the big lemon in the sky comes back

"i lost weight" girl i'll help you find it??? get in the car