i do it so it feels real.

It is not necessary for every feminist statement to include a 'not all men do this' disclaimer. The criticism itself already expresses the possibility that men could choose not to behave in this way.

Unless someone states that men's behavior can't change or that there is inherent evil in being a man, accusing a feminist of 'manhating' because she criticizes men is usually nothing but an attempt to distract from the content of the criticism itself.

incestuous relationships are also codependent !!! they are BOTH reliant on each other, and this is where is where francis’ description comes in: both are jealous of each other !! i suspect that the nasty mix of charles’ (imo) untreated bpd (he def shows symptoms of it to ME) and alcoholism are what make him more physically confrontational than camilla (though, again, we don’t actually see charles with anyone but francis so we don’t actually /know/ if camilla was less jealous prior to the start of the abuse in the latter half of the book).

i feel (respectfully) that there is sometimes the assumption that simply because it became abusive later and simply because the power dynamic of him being a man and her being a woman exists that it MUST mean it was always abusive, that is very likely not the case! and their dynamic does not hint at that abuse prior to the latter half of the book !! and unfortunately, we CANNOT look at the bacchanal because both of them consented to that prior, and both of them were high out of their minds !!! and IF charles does have bpd, the drugs would have hit him far harder than anyone else on a good day, but especially on an empty stomach (hence, “charles was the worst by far”) making him act out as he did !

the dreamers (2003) dir. by bertolucci actually is one of the only films i’ve seen that gives a good insight into the psychological dynamic of incestuous twins. it is also a deeply uncomfortable film at times but but it !! helped me understand a lot !!

and let me finish this by saying this is NOT to imply that charles’ behavior was justified by any means, or that camilla was secretly a villain or wtv. but watering down their dynamic to camilla just being a hapless victim is not only a severe flattening of a very rich and complex character to being this “pure” innocent doe-eyed character (which i think is very misogynistic and also deeply uninteresting) but is also just borne of a lack of understanding of these dynamics and a lack of desire to explore topics which make us uncomfortable!!

but that’s the point ! it’s supposed to be uncomfortable !

sibling incest, particularly those close in age, statistically begins due to codependency or displays of unhealthy dynamics/boundaries by guardians. Since the twins are orphaned its unlikely that the ladder is the case. My theory due to my psychoanalysis practice and knowledge is due to the loss of their parents the twins held the belief that they only had one another, maybe even that they were extensions of one another. This could lead to them explore and sharing milestones in their psychosexual developmental stages, them being codependent blurs the boundaries a majority of the population is taught. its as if camilla and Charles don’t have any, or at the very least, minimal. Thats is until Camilla begins to seek it in college, which causes distress in Charles as that is not the dynamic he has grown accustom to. And as someone, who believe him to have BPD could very well cause a spiral. it could be safe to say his own sister is his favorite person, and his feeling like he’s losing her due to a dynamic shift causing him to start to grow aggressive (not that this excuses his actions and abuse towards camilla; i absolutely doesn’t!!)

I am also of the opinion on their sexual dynamic was consenual on both sides and actually wasn’t a common occurrence (as francis states “i don’t think its something that happens very often”), i think the twins would engage with one another in highly emotional situations or when they felt lack of control. their relationship not being driven by physical attraction but instead as a coping mechanism formed in their sexual developmental years.

Okay, i actually didn’t mean to rant THIS much and honestly I could go on and on and on (like how i think Camilla knows her brother so well and knows his symptoms of BPD, despite this not being a diagnose he’d likely obtain in the 80s, and take on a caregiver role as a result) but i wont for today at least.