Oh Time, Strength, Cash, and Patience!

jeff goldblum is the type of guy who gets mistaken for gay because he’s jewish. nathan lane is the type of guy who gets mistaken for jewish because he’s gay. stanley tucci is the type of guy who gets mistaken for gay because he’s a mild-mannered italian, which is jewish. seth meyers gets mistaken for jewish because of everything about him. zachary levi gets mistaken for jewish because everyone wants him dead. tom cruise gets mistaken for gay because he is.

every time someone says odysseus "just" loves his wife or "just" wants to go home, i get so agitated... you don't understand. odysseus wants everything. he wants to be at home, and he wants to be a hero. he wants to die, and he wants to live. he wants his family, and he wants to lie to them. he wants to tell the story of his life, and he wants to keep his secrets. he wants to go back and for everything to be as it was, and he wants the glory and wealth and reputation he hard-won. he wants to be at peace, and he wants to do violence. he wants to sail past the sirens safely, and he wants to hear them. he wants the war to end, and he wants it to mean something. he wants to have his cake and eat it too. he's the man of many ways. he'll get his damn homecoming but he's a rube goldberg machine. he doesn't "just" anything.

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

every fleetwood mac documentary i've ever watched is like "the band was at the height of their success, enjoying the fame rolling in from their #1 hit 'i know about the other woman, lindsey'. however, nobody could have sensed the tension brewing between members."

"the group initially disbanded immediately after the release of the single 'well get the fuck out if you're going to be like that', leaving thousands of fans shocked."

people are always trying to humanize dracula and hes always trying to draculize humans

"this is unbecoming of me" is genuinely a useful thing to have in your mental toolbox

When all you have is a handsaw, every problem looks like a beautiful lady in a box. And you have a magician outfit. And people are watching.

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured