I Create Myself

favorite thing about tumblr is having a fandom in law. no i haven't watched this show and i'm not planning to. but my moot is having fun!! look how much they love it!!! i'm supportive from the sidelines!

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)

what if you told someone you liked their shoelaces while you were on your knees blowing them in a bathroom stall and they told you that they stole them from the president

were any other killed by lions though

 ”WHY THE SHIT IS THERE A CHICKEN IN MY COFFEE CUP” the first chicken has been found

“amiee we think you have a problem” my parents say as they hold 15 tiny chickens in their hands

1000 notes because i terrorized my family with small chickens

[Image ID: Tweet from Ben Crew (@/ BenjaminCrew1) reading: Always fascinating to ask "How the hell did they do that?" while watching classic Hollywood movie effects because the answer is either "claymation artist on the brink of insanity" or "they just did it for real and 50 people were sent to the hospital" /End ID]

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

It doesn’t have to

Yes it does.

BRING IT BACK BOYS

I don’t deserve this

Someone out there needs to see this post so they can remember how much trouble it caused and not tell derin to make it.

I'm obsessed with this. This is fever dream logic come to life

don't date anyone. stay committed to your tumblr blog instead