I Create Myself

Has anyone made a video game out of this yet?

When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M

He said “Son (M7) when you grow up (F33) would you be — wait what”

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

me: yeah, so one of your most famous works is actually just that commission of a woman that you kept. Honestly, it's less of the piece itself that lead to its fame and more the mystery surrounding it, so I was hoping you could clear that up the decayed corpse of Leonardo Da Vinci that I resurrected: Hai detto che hanno chiamato una tartaruga che combatte il crimine con il mio nome?

Hang on let me translate something real quick

Yeah this is funny

You rang...

I love rebloging. It’s the adult equivalent of showing everyone the cool rock I just found.

the best fic you have ever read in your entire fucking stupid life: written by anonymous

After the humiliating defeat to Johnny in the fiddling contest, the Devil is looking for a win. So he goes up to Kansas and challenges a farmer's boy named Clark to an arms wrestling competition.

what doesn’t kill you makes your nervous system more sensitive for the rest of your life

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich