nai

Ever since you left my will to live left with you,

If only i can disappear from the face of earth , i want to unexist, remove myself from everyone's memory and from everywhere as if i never existed

What doesn't kill you leaves you bleeding for the rest of your life wishing it did

they say time heals wounds, but mine only rotted deeper

I never had the courage to do it , it's always lingering in the back of my head, i have a way out. Once it gets bad I'll just end it , yet still i keep going because i always remember i have a way out , a way out that i never could get my self to go through, yet whenever i feel ill , i pray to god that it would take me out, god please i can't do this please take my soul I can't take it myself

Without you, i don't yet know quite how to live. i have to learn to be somebody else. I'm living through the Hope of you coming back and we can laugh about it all as if i didn't lose myself millions of times searching for you in every corner of my soul

No matter how far i run away from this emptiness and sadness, it always finds me again

It’s a cruel curse knowing I’ll never have what I crave, yet it swings forever just beyond my reach.

I just want to be loved, held and understood, is this too much to ask for?

The more i try to fit in , The more i stick out. The more i try to belong the more alone i become

“In another life,” why not this life?

And when the bugs start eating my heart they'll taste the sadness that drowned me all these years , they'll get repulsed by the guilt, fear and shame I've carried my whole life for simply growing up unaware of my actions

One day people will be afraid to lose me and i won't be the only one holding on to people with all the power i have

Maybe one day, I'll touch my body without feeling disgusted of the fat covering me , I won't worry about my size around people and how much room i take

Unfortunately the rabbit came for our friendship...