speaking of spiraling. um. i'm wondering if i wasn't tested for ocd correctly or i didn't understand the questions when i was screened for ocd while getting tested for adhd (probably the 2nd option based off what i'm about to explain) bc i recently found out it's possible to have ocd without physical compulsions, mental compulsions are a thing as well and i think i have that. sometimes i spiral and can't stop myself from thinking & getting anxious about stuff not being in the correct order/way, both in terms of time/doing things & arranging items and it causes me a lot of distress. i also used to frequently have moments where i'd have extreme self hating thoughts that would be really hard to stop, and whenever my social anxiety is set off (like if i think i said/did something embarassing) that also sends me into a spiral that is hard to stop. and during all of these spirals i do always repeat certain things in my head to try stopping the thoughts and sometimes i can't stop them and have to give into the obsession, if whatever i'm obsessing over is possible to do/change.
also there are a couple physical things i do whenever i have these spirals but i think they might just be more anxious habits than compulsions? bc sometimes i do them outside these spirals too. idk.
anyways, idk if i should get tested again or not...
(ooorrr maybe all of this is just a combination of all my other mental issues. idk.)
