ars longa, vīta brevis

Ravenclaw:

When people get mad at me now it's my fault, I mean when people get mad at me on the highway it's-it's all my bad. I'm a terrible driver I know nothing about cars. I meant to learn about cars, and then I forgot.

And nothing that I know can help you with your car. ever. Unless you're like "hey I've got a flat tire! does anybody here know a lot about the Cosby Show?" And I'm like "oh... perhaps I can be of some assistance..."

_

Griffindor:

I’m standing in the basement, and I’m holding a red cup; you’ve seen movies. And I’m standing there and I’m holding a red cup and I’m starting to black out and I guess someone said like “something something police.” and in a brilliant moment of word association, I YELLED “FUCK DA POLICE! FUCK DA POLICE!” . And everyone else joined in, 100… drunk… white… children yelling “Fuck. Da. Police” with the confidence of guys who have already been to jail and aren’t afraid of it anymore...

So a Chicago police officer walked down the stairs and got to the bottom in the basement and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers YELLING: “FUCK THE POLICE” In. his. face. And he was almost impressed.

_

Hufflepuff:

And I don’t like confrontation, ’cause I’ve never been in a fight before. Though, maybe you could tell that from the first moment I walked out on stage. I don’t give off that vibe. Some people give off a vibe of… Right away, they’re like, “Do not fuck with me.” My vibe is more like, “Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.” 

__

Slytherin:

I’d been in relationships where I got cheated on, like, long ones. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a long relationship where you got cheated on, but it changes your whole worldview. ‘Cause when I was a kid, I used to watch America’s Most Wanted. You know how kids do. And I would always think to myself, “How could another person kill someone? How could a human being kill another human being?” 

And then I got cheated on, 

Sry I forgot abt this lol

3) song that reminds you abt summer time

24/7/365 -surfaces

29) a song you remember from your childhood. There are so many but this one is too vivid.

Dynamite - Taio Cruz

30) a song that reminds you of yourself.

Heroes and Villians - The Beach Boys

i spent too much time on this

Luther:

Deigo:

Allison:

Klaus:

5 joining The Commission:

Five:

Ben:

Vanya:

Pogo:

Agnes:

Sir Reginald:

Bucky: Sam, I’m talking to you, look at my face  

Sam: No its ugly

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Peter: Mr.Stark do you think cells are afraid of the dark

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Bucky: no, i'm a better friend!  I’VE KNOWN STEVE SINCE HE WAS GAY DUDE

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Shuri: Can I be the first person to make a McDonald's Sprite juul?? Bc you know McDonalds Sprite hits differently, have you ever had salt in carbonated water? It's that.

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*Is November 5th*

Coulson: No its October 36 th I'm sorry Nick (Fury)

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A Nazi: Hey Steve do yo-

Steve: If you say one more word I'm gonna swing

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T’Challa: Why is my spotify only playing christian music

Shuri: Gods trying to speak to you man

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Tony after seeing Peter: I'm actually happy for a change

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Tony: Hey what your favorite dessert?

Clint: KFC

Tony: Are you serious??

Clint: Well its not gonna be Popeyes!

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Natasha (definitely not an assassin): Google how to murder cus were about to kill a bitch

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Shuri: Siri call Kanye

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Eddie: Hey! Don't make a mess on my floor

Tony: I'll clean it if you gimme a broom

Eddie: We don't have brooms, You improvise, were rich here

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Tony, helps steve and steve says nothing: Thank you. thank you! Bitch!? Say Thank You!

Steve: ,,, Thank you

Tony: You're welcome

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Ross: You suck, I hate you

Bruce: Guess if I give a single fuck

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Valkyrie: Who's your favorite person?

Loki: I'm the top three

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Natasha: These are the three criteria that someone must meet to be classified as a terrorist

Clint: You're just gonna teach us how to become a good terrorist

Natasha: Do you wanna be a terrorist Clint???

Clint: No.

Natasha: THEN DON'T

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Stephen: Why do you never wear a complete outfit??

Peter: Just bc I'm wearing a sweater and shorts..

Stephen: ... a complete sentence is too much too??

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Clint: I’m looking for a really tall human. Maybe a really small giant

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MJ: I’m dyin’ inside and that's not the way it was in 4th grade

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MJ: I relate to Oscar The Grouch bc I feed off of garbage

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Ned: Did you cheat

MJ: No should've tho, I probably would've if passed i did

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Sam: Forget water, drink air, stay fit

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Peter: I hate how starbucks labels its drink sizes

Ned: Listen we have small, medium, and large and when we run out of words we tack Xs onto that shit

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MJ: Guess who just got a 66.6 on their chemistry final

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Bruce: I don't trust Sprite cranberry

Tony: Why, bc it looks like fizzy vodka?

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Clint: For 25¢ I can take away your depression

Peter: I don't have that kind of cash

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Bruce: boy you’re never gonna be as good as me

Clint: Well Ive got chicken wings in my car so

Peter B. Parker

Gwen Stacy

Spiderham

Miles Morales

Peni Parker

Peter Parker

Spiderman Noir