“nasty woman disease”

the sexiest things for a boy to be are desperate and pathetic

Are you free from your curse yet i miss you

in the club undiagnosing everyones stuff

oh my god I can walk

now do me

jeez buy a guy dinner first

"I'm in the zone," said the adventurer, balancingly. "The zone of truth."

Leather fetishes are back in cuz everything is polyester these days.. touching real HQ material in 2026 is enough to give anyone a little sexual zing

yes this is an exploration of guilt and culpability but it could also be a sex thing if you just give me a minute

she lets me hit because she hasnt memorized my attack patterns

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

forever grateful i was simply too lazy to let the makeup industrial complex get its hooks in me. I was just like im not doing all of that. in fact. im doing none of that

yeah I have political reasons for it now but my original and still most powerful reason is "I am not getting out of this bed one single second before I have to"

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey