Woah :0

(really loved this one. transcript con’t beneath cut. italix is things İ find charming)

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Hi, may I talk to Scott?

This is.

Hi, this is Haywood with Otis Elevators.

OK.

Got some mail returned that we had sent to you.

OK.

Guess you didn’t see it? From Otis Elevators?

No.

We had actually sent you a bill. There’s a fee associated with our elevators when anyone presses more than four buttons at once. You were on surveillance. There’s an 89 dollar fee associated, with that, so that’s what we’re trying to collect here today.

When was this?

January.

January?

Yes sir.

I don’t remember being in an elevator back in January.

It was on Hobby Avenue or Indiana Avenue. One of our buildings there. If you just wanted to do the credit card by phone or a routing number by phone we could satisfy the debt that way.

An elevator over on Hobby Avenue?

Yes sir.

What’s the building?

It was a city building. There’s an 89 dollar fee. It’s just to prevent people from pushing buttons willy-nilly. And elevators are not to be toyed with was the reasoning behind the fee.

What was the date of this?

January 2 through the 12th we were doing a big sweep. So within that 10 day time frame sir. You pushed too many buttons, is the long and short of it.

Yeah, well I’m trying to tell you I don’t remember being in a building during that time frame.

GODFLESH / NAPALM DEATH / CARCASS / ENTOMBED

1990.06.02 — Nottingham UK