MomCat

They’re supposed to be working on a typical coming-of-age story but after living with the Addams for just a week the project is becoming a horror-Gothic-romance

Fester and Pugsley find out one of the college students is trying to get into chemistry and woo boy, there has never been a faster study of how to counter various acidic chemical reactions due to “water” balloons in campus history. 

Morticia and Grammy are keeping the horticulturalists on their toes with their Black Tulip/Rose hybrids, which can flick their barbs a foot away from their stem system. But it’s fine, one of the kids has managed to breed Aloe with the anti venom. 

Lurch makes sandwiches for everyone who’s too much of a coward for Grammy’s cooking. Any music major will find him looming over them, utterly stone faced as they practise until they finish, when he’ll smile, and slowly applaud. 

And the spookiest thing of all

Wednesday and Thing will find your thesis. They will critique it in every way imaginable. 

There is no escape. 

#‘no other family in attendance’ #please #if that happened they’d be an Addams by the end of the day - that-halloween-gay

They come back for reunions as honorary Adams - yellowbirdbluetoo

All graduates will be referred to as “cousin”. Hahaha you’re an honorary Addams now. - jedochan

The Addams family also takes in LGBTQ+ kids who get disowned and kicked out so its college kids and LGBTQ+ kids helping each other out and the Addams family loves all of them - wishesovercas

Coming out to Gomez and Morticia because you’re too afraid to tell your own parents first/at all and they give you support and throw a lavish party in your honor - davekatzdefensesquad

Gomez will happily fence to death (or at least to first blood) any obnoxious overbearing stalker Ex’s you might have, on the simple principle of “If you love someone you treat them as something to be cherished and adored and honoured and brutally slay anyone who thinks them unworthy of worship.” - samarallewis86

Gomez looking at a Tired College Kid for approximately 2 seconds: Oh??? NEW CHILD??????? - kentallardd

I can just see the Addams family coming to your event that your miniscule Poetry club sponsored because they know how hard you worked, and they know your own family won’t come.

When some snobby frat house bashes on the event and Wednesday and Pugsley and Fester sneak into their frat house and set a bunch of rabid rats loose during their rager.

Meanwhile Morticia is going around snipping the flowers off the garden beds of campus with some organic poison, and Gomez is chatting with engineer majors about full scale trains and demolition ideas. He convinces the shy nerd to seduce the head jock’s girl, and he succeeds.

Lurch and Grammy discover the controls for the fountains and pour in a little surprise into the water system, and Thing is snapping appreciatively for every line recited by your club members. - athelise

One does wonder how they would handle a recovering addict. Like they are trying to stay off but they get so angry or depressed from withdrawl. - iconicdraconic

Found family College students with the Adam’s family is the unhinged lunacy I CRAVE - damion-the-skeleton

#”so ive bene thinking about making giant animal costumes for people but decent fur costs like $80 per metre” “CAPITOL IDEA!”

#”holy shit” #i like this a lot this is very fun - ain-person

#heart full #I genuinely love this so much #the Addams family has so much potential for wacky stuff like this #and there’s hardly ever mean vibes coz they love each other #which is Good  - raewentferal

I so want Gomez shouting “capital idea” at me and funding one of my many wishes. This is glorious. 

And let’s hear it for a cartoonist’s weird ideas surviving almost 100 years now. - johannadc

I HAVE to reblog. This is my head cannon for the Addams Family. Especially after watching the 60’s sitcom. - kquietgirl

Me now wondering what shopping with Morticia must be like - a-world-of-whimsy-5

Wednesday listening to the biology students with glee explaining what organs can be taken out that wouldn’t cause death - bi-tastrophe

@identity-you-decided you say this like Pugsley hasn’t already obtained his excitable materials engineering degree (at age 9) and will actually have at least 5 IED designs to teach you (all of which you can make with standard household items). - coppercorn-and-cauldron

@randomthoughtsandspeech because that’s where the overflow of swords and armour are displayed. They ran out of room in both the great room and the formal parlour. - coppercorn-and-cauldron

All my landlords were all creeps. The women were sometimes even worse than the men. Buy the Addams? Their creepiness doesn’t make me want to add an extra layer of clothes or wrap myself in a coarse horse blanket. - purplehazepaladin

Ok but…… what happens when Morticia meets the cultural anthropology major with a concentration on magic and witchcraft? - fleetwood-mac-andcheese

Then there’s the octopus. Aristotle gets their own saltwater ecosystem as well. Another massive setup, and the Addams become very interested in endangered sharks and breeding programs to increase wild populations, and in ecosystem “tanks.”

Wednesday’s spiders? Well of course they need their own building too, and there needs to be a lizard house for all those poor underappreciated reptiles. And the bats, those poor endangered darlings, they need conservation efforts too…

Crocodiles, alligators, everything has a place at the Addams Family Conservation Centre (and its eventually worldwide branches, because you can’t tell me that Gomez wouldn’t hear one of the new “cousins” talking at length about the poor understudied “vulture bees” in the South American jungle and decide that they need to fund their various academic pursuits. Or that they shouldn’t set up a conservation centre in Sub-Saharan Africa for their beloved tsetse fly.

Toph: I’ve been banned from every major city’s transportation system except Omashu

Bumi: Well, well, well. It seems I have finally met the troublemaker who has been causing such chaos with my rail systems.

Toph:…

Bumi: I must say, I am thoroughly impressed with your earthbending abilities. You remind me of myself when I was a lad.

Toph: Get to the point.

Bumi: I see great potential in you, Toph Beifong. I want you inherit my title once I am no longer fit to rule.

1. Implying Bumi was fit to rule at any point

1.1 except maybe in the sense that he was completely shredded

2. That he has no plans to die, (nor would death necessarily make him unfit to rule), but that he apparently intends to like. Tuck his arms and legs into himself and just roll off into the sunset.

By the time you realise that they can traverse water, it’s too late. The surviving members of your unit manage to make it back by shedding their excess gear and running for their lives; the slower ones were crushed to death within minutes.

You later describe the creature to one of the humans you captured, wanting to know the name of the monstrosity that will haunt your nightmares for cycles to come.

The human smiles as it speaks a single word, slowly and distinctly, in its barbaric tongue.

And at first you are, you’ve learned how to dodge. You’ve learned where their territories are. You know how to defend yourself.

But then one night you are sleeping in your shelter. You’re in a tree covered temperate part of earth. It seems benign. There are been no sightings of the dreaded “hippos” around. Not even any bears. But there is a slight rustle of the undergrowth. You try and ignore it telling yourself it is just the wind.

Then you hear the rustle again. closer this time.

You peer out into the darkness but see nothing amongst the trees.

The rustle again and now you realise you can smell something. It’s musky and slightly foul. It’s the smell of an omen, a warning. But what of? Where is this smell coming from.

You sit up, but it’s too late. The foul smelling creature is on you. You are hit with 17kg of coarse fur and vicious bites. Long dark claws tear in to you and you are pinned down white the striped creature tries to bite your throat.

It takes some doing but you manage to wrestle free. Blood drips from your wounds and already they itch with the sign of infection. The creature has a bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with the black and white hairs. It lets out a terrifying growl from the back of its throat and looks to attack again. It’s between you and your knife, so your only choice is to back away.

Eventually the creature gives up and snuffles off in to the undergrowth, down a hole near your shelter you hadn’t noticed before.

When you make it back to your base you once again consult the captive human.

BAMrumblerumblethumpcrash!!!

You lost Jaxurn to a plant. Not even a mobile or carnivorous plant, just one that caused a vicious allergic reaction on contact that killed him in less than a rai'kor. Commander Vura'ko died to an insect bite, a tiny local pest that sucked a tiny bit of her blood and apparently replaced it with a bit of its last meal, which was full of disease. Backwash. She died to bug backwash. And yet you honestly envy them after that… thing you encountered…

When you got back to base the quarantine officer refused to let you inside. They had to roll a containment tank outside to put you in, because you all knew there would be no chance of eliminating the smell if it got into the ship’s air ducts. Smell. You wonder if your nasal slit will ever recover from this stench.

And the smell would. Not. Leave. After incinerating your gear the Q.O. had you use every cleansing agent they could think of, including a few janitorial ones, and still everyone fled the stench if they were downwind of your tank. Desperate to protect everyone’s nasal slits from the smell the quarantine officer interrogated the humans. From them, a glimmer of hope: there was a cure. Somehow the juice of a certain fruit on this mudball was the only thing that could break up the chemicals in the little horror’s spray. Immediately the Q.O. sent a team to recover buckets of the stuff and made you bathe in it. That was hours ago and it didn’t seem to be working, though. All it was doing was turning your blue skin an interesting shade of purple.

Sighing in frustration you wave the med-assist on duty over, who only approaches after checking the wind direction. Annoyed, you flip on the tank`s vox speaker.

It came for someone almost every night. 

Any soldier alone was a viable target for this native monster that moved unseen by any but the security viewers, usually only spotted in hindsight.  They were taken as silently as this earth-monster moved.  Sometimes they’d find the remains in the morning taken up a tree and hung there, mostly eaten, as if it were a grisly reminder that the monster was still there, waiting unseen, to strike again. 

What little they saw of the monster on the vidfeed showed true horror.  Yellow eyes that shone with all the light it could gather.  It had fangs as long as his grasping digits.  Claws half that size formed curved hooks that allowed it to climb up their fortifications with impunity.  And in the underbrush, its spots made it almost impossible to see clearly in the undergrowth, if it could be seen at all.

Even the native sentients, the humans, had a healthy respect and fear for it. 

The earth natives called the monster a leopard.  

It was a constant fear that muddied the senses, and let the monster hunt even more effectively as the soldiers were always on edge.  Sleep deprived with fear, it made them even better targets for the monster. 

But rumor was that there was worse on this planet.  Rumors of a monster like a leopard but larger, and bigger in every imaginable sense. Stripped instead of spotted, which leaped from the underbrush with a sound.

The troops were not-quite-looking at her in the way troops do when they don’t want to be seen to contradict a ranking officer, but can’t quite muster a correct Expression of Enthusiastic Assent.  “The name of this species,” she pointed out, “is synonymous with dullness and slowness in the language of the Earth barbarians.”  Well, one language out of several thousand—these creatures needed Imperial guidance more than any other world on record—but there was no point in confusing the rank and file.

“I would warn you not to fuck with us, mate.” Their forced guide, a prisioner, had warned with a chilling grin upon capture. “If you think a moose is bad, wait until you tango with a red back.” To this day Tar'van fears the creature known as the red back, and what horrors it would bring.

The prisioner turned out to be of little help,the stubboness of his people causing them to refuse the danger that the captured human warned of. Tar'van recalls a moment when one of his squad members approached a creature know as a dingo, insistent they had seen these creatures before and they were tame. They barely escaped with 5 of the original 7 members of his squad.

Another moment Tar'van recalls was the brutal mauling they witnessed by the hands of a creature called an ‘Emu’

“Don’t feel too bad,” the prisioner mocked. “We lost a war to the Emu’s as well.”

Now with only 4 members of their squad left, including themself, Tar'van had learned to listen to the prisoner, to be wary of the simplest of creatures. This human was of the sub-species of ‘Zookeeper’ after all.

The ‘Zookeeper’ looks off to the distance, where the creature is.

“It’s a kangaroo, leave it be and you’ll be fine.” Tar'van nods, a human signal of acknowledgement if they are correct. The human smiles a bit.

“That creature cannot possibly harm us.” Tar'van’s squadleader protests. “It is so docile. I will aproach it and bring back it’s head to show this human is a fearmongering liar.”

The human reels back, a look of disgust crosses their face and anger passes through their eyes.

“Fucking do it mate, I dare ya.” The human hisses. The squad leader puffs up their hoinn gland, a sign of pride to their species, and aproached the so called ‘Kangaroo’.

“This will be unpleasant.” A squadmate mutters as they watch their leader raise their fist and bring it down on the creature. The ‘Kangaroo’ looks a little stunned by the impact, before it raises itself upon its strong tail and uses its powerful heind legs to launch their squadleader backwards through the air.

Their squadleader lands upon the ground, unmoving with black blooded oozeing from them. It appears Tar'van is the squads leader now.

“I don’t know what they expected.” the human says, smugness filling their tone. “Kangaroos are fucking shreaded. 8-pack and all.”

Tar'van steps forward to the human, whom inches back in a sign of fear as Tar'van pulls their blade from its holster, and in their first act as leader, frees the human of the bonds around their hands.

They had faced Emu’s. They had lost one in the battle but had experienced them. But this was no emu.

Looking to their guide, they all stare in horror as his face changes from calculating to fear. Pure, heart consuming horror as he stares at the large bird. “Cassowary…” They mimic him in fear. Squawking the horrific name as another joins the first in the mad run towards them.

“Excuse me,” the native Terran guide speaks up in a tired tone, and the squad’s cheers die on their lips. “This is Japan. You haven’t seen what–”

“Silence, worm! No sting can penetrate this plating!”

The guide tries to warn them once again, merely earning a blow that throws them to their knees. The troops set out, morale high, certain in their ability to brave the wildlife now and thirsting for vengeance against the non-sentient native species. One soldier thumps his fist against a tree. A hollow sound follows.

In an instant, the soldier is the centre of a storm of the striped insects. At first, no one pays it any mind. Their little stings cannot penetrate the new plating, after all.

But then the soldier falls to his knees, and the squad stares in horror as the insects enclose him in layer upon layer of their own bodies, all moving. The squad’s medic yells a warning at everyone to stay back, watching the readouts of the unfortunate soldier’s armour on their diagnostic screen with undisguised horror. The insects aren’t even stinging. They simply keep moving, one atop the other, and the soldier’s body temperature is slowly rising until he drops to the ground, quite literally cooked alive. The insect swarm takes off, unharmed save for the ones that were crushed when the trooper fell.

The human bares its teeth. A smile, they call it. Something humans do when they are happy. Yet you can’t help but think of all the creatures with the their large fangs and sharp teeth. (What kind of species uses a threat signal as a sign of happiness?)

“Persistence and ingenuity.” The human answers, still smiling. 

“Is that a miniature tiger?”

“Why does this human own a small pack of wolves?”

The aliens ask their human captive why small wolves live with them. 

“Oh, you mean dogs? Yeah, they’re the only animals that can keep up with us.”

The aliens look at each other in fear. “What do you mean?”

“Oh well that’s why you guys ‘won’ is because humans aren’t super fast or strong. I think my middle school biology teacher called us pursuit predators? It means we evolved to hunt things by following them at walking pace until they had to stop to sleep and then catching up to them then. Dogs are the only animals that can keep up with us. Did you know one time a pack of wolves tailed a herd of caribou for three days straight?”

“Uh… okay, what about these small round things with big teeth?”

“Omg dude no if you give a hamster enought time that little fucker can chew through concrete :)”

The aliens aren’t expecting any difficulties with their underwater expeditions. Of course, that’s when four of the life signs on the central screen simply vanish, like they’d never been there. 

Alpha turns on the direct communication lines to the remaining submersion pods, and the only thing they hear through the tinny speakers is screaming. 

Alpha resists the urge to turn and stare at the shackled human standing behind them, but Beta, Gamma and Theta have no such compunctions. 

The human shrugs. “I mean, we’ve never really been down there so we’re not entire sure, but we’ve heard stories of giant squids and stuff. No smoke without fire, and all that.” 

“There can be neither smoke nor fire underwater, human, cease your prattling.” 

The human snorts. “It’s a phrase. A metaphor? Man, I don’t know, I studied marine biology, not literature.” 

The human is unable to tell them anything useful about what might have happened to the submersion pods, but retrieved footage later shows tentacled behemoths snaking out of the depths of disturbed silt and cold water, and crushing the submersion pods effortlessly, in full view of the outer-hull cameras. The monsters have giant beaks which rip through the organic alloy sheets, and into the bodies of the pod pilots within. 

The outer-hull cameras register the blue of fresh spilled blood and gore, at the same time the on-board cameras register screaming and the red glow of critical power failure. 

The last thing the aliens can see on the retrieved footage is thin, long, snakelike creatures appearing out of the darkness and gloom, creating their own light and descending upon the remains of their brethren. They are accompanied by creatures that look like plastic bags, but which feed upon the toxic remains of the organic alloy of which the pods were made.

2) Earth has Poison Dart Frogs, we’re clearly a Death World.

i'm at the taco bell

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This.

Maleficent is certainly someone you wouldn’t want at a party, but she’s also someone powerful enough that only a fool would ever dare treat her with such blatant disrespect. The only way the King and Queen could possibly have gotten away with not inviting Maleficent was to not invite any of the fairies at all; inviting the other fairies and excluding her is explicitly taking sides in the conflict between the fairy factions.

Which means they made themselves her sworn enemies, and she responded by treating them as such from then on. If you actually get into analyzing the social dynamics of the scene, it’s very clear that Maleficent was willing to show mercy at first by giving the King and Queen a chance to apologize for their disrespect to her. She doesn’t curse Aurora until after she gives them that chance and they throw it back in her face with further disrespect.

Kings, queens, and in betweens

All y'all

Howdy, villagers

Sluts

If you were planning on playing Cyberpunk 2077, please be aware of this if you have a history of epilepsy.

A reviewer who was playing the game experienced a seizure because of this feature, so there are clearly no warnings in the game anywhere about this issue.

--

Its not easy to move to Canada, and even if you’re successful it might take several years to qualify and move.

Some resources:

Moving to Canada, explained

Americans, it’s actually quite hard to move to Canada

Dear Americans: moving to Canada is hard

Americans: It’s not as easy as just ‘moving to Canada’

Step by step: How to get into a Canadian university as an international student

HOW TO APPLY TO CANADIAN UNIVERSITIES

Moving from the U.S. to Study in Canada

Study in Canada: Step-By-Step Guide for International Students

https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada.html

I also want to stress that it is EXPENSIVE. Not just moving. Just the last part of mine, just the *application process* for Permanent Residency, cost about $2000 CDN. You have to pay for the required background check, the required language tests, and the required medical exam out of your own pocket, and that’s on top of the actual application and processing fees and every other expense involved with getting your initial visa and moving.

I will emphasize this: EDUCATE YOURSELF ON THE PROCESS. It’s so easy to mess something up because you didn’t know about something and didn’t know the resources to get that information. Make full use of the resources provided above and maybe even try finding people who’ve been through the process and ask them about it

Though also be aware that Canada has our fair share of problems, too. It’s not the nice neighbor that lives over a meth lab that everyone says it is

I don’t wanna discourage anyone from moving, I think Canada’s a great place to live! BUT it’s far from perfect, and it’s not as easy as saying “hey I wanna move to Canada” to live here

ALSO with the pandemic, I believe that Canada has closed its borders, at least for the US, for nonessential travel. I don’t know if immigrating is included in that, but DO look into it if you wanna try starting your immigration process during the pandemic!

DON”T GET MARRIED YET!!

I know I know, but hear me out. There is apparently a limited window of opportunity after getting married where things are easier, I don’t know if it is the first ninety days or what as I only heard of it after the fact that while I was still in California right after getting married was the best time to file for immigration. So factor immigration costs into the costs of your wedding so that you have the money ready to file as soon as you are legally married.

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.

My failed immigration case stated that they did not believe my marriage was real due to a lack of documented courtship and a small wedding out of country. Remember that thing I said about factoring in immigration costs into your wedding, immigration wants you have a giant expensive wedding ceremony with lots of friends and family. You want this too, you want pictures coming out of your ears. 

Take pictures of every date, every picnic, every outing you take especially if you have friends with you. Go to the movies, concerts, show and keep the tickets. Go to hotels and keep receipts. Resorts, Zoos, Cruises, weekend getaways.

I’ve always kept this card in my back pocket should I need it.  But if you are a member of certain professions that are in constant shortage in Canada, it is much easier to move.

As an x-ray technologist, so long as I fill a set of requirements (have an x-ray degree, speak English or French fluently, am drug free, have a clean police record for the past 5 years, have 1 or more years of expierience) I can be set up with an employer and move to Canada with a guaranteed job with IMMEDIATE entry.

This is the page for my profession, but there are other professions out there that have these kinds of agreements especially if you work in the medical field.

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

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