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I apologize for my crimes but I present you all...Ordis Big Naturals

I am so sorry to everyone at DE.

But I blame my friend Lagged for saying they kept imaging Ordis with tits before New War while Ordis was playing recordings of mom...

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.

Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.

Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.

Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.

English: Tree-sponsible!

English: razzleberry

hey if you're a UK resident can you sign this petition and if not please rb to spread the word

If the petition gets 100,000 signatures they have to consider it for debate in parliament.

It's a crime that Gender Recognition Reform was blocked in England, but Scottish MPs voted it into law and that the UK Parliament overturned that is in direct contravention of democracy as a whole.

You can see that even with the whole crew around them they seek comfort and assurance in each other.

She doesn’t just take his arm - he lays his hand over hers. This is such an intimate gesture. (Also why did that woman have to walk in front of them right then?)

Now look at that. That’s not just relief, that’s “I need to touch you all over to make sure you’re really not dead” relief.

That’s “Let me truly look at you again before I leave you for two seconds in case you die on me again”

And finally, this is “I’ve seen half of my crew down, but Oh God, not him, please not him” angst.

They care so deeply for each other and their relationship is just so very special.

She touches him all the time:

But he’s also so concerned with her well being.

And then can I just ask how so far we missed this:

Cause they just hold hands. On the bridge. In front of everyone. Completely unapologetic.

And while I’m at it:

(all gifs by @janewayseyebrow​)

The flirt is strong….

The simple intimate gesture of touching his foot… my very long married grandparents did that as a sign of affection.

Then to his chest…

And finally a gesture that would have been a kiss had they been alone. 

I’ll conclude with:

Long pat on the *inside* of his knee, that she doesn’t move until he does.   These are two people who are extremely close and intimate with each other. 

And he clearly looks just as good walking out of a room as he does walking into it. ;)

This

Me: *does not really ship j/c*

Me after seeing this post:

updated thot man Thursday