Clueless (1995) dir. Amy Heckerling
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@justcandydandy
Clueless (1995) dir. Amy Heckerling

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The humble bowling pin
had to share this
MOODBOARD FOR WHEN SHIT IS FUCK

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Leopard Figurine. Mesopotamia. c. 3300-2900 BC.
so called "free thinkers" when hi 1 quastion
reminds me of
the shellfish allergy NO NO FUCKING S HRIMP OR HE D IE post
reminded me of this
Thera the deaf ferret gets a surprise!
This is what PURE JOY looks like.
Ferret does a POGGERS
I am not satisfied, if was much funnier in my head
its been 6 months and im still not over this. easily best and most hilarious play in baseball history
for those who dont really understand:
-the first baseman had no reason to chase Baéz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out
-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores
-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you “cannot retreat to home base” meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine
-Baéz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw
-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE
what a fucking sport yall
@fractaldunes
Javier Baéz’s nickname according to those announcers is El Mago which is spanish for The Wizard
Well earned
love how the explanations do not help at all
Let me see if I can break this down a little more.
Javier Báez (the batter, a Chicago Cub, wearing blue) has just hit the ball. His job is now to run around the bases - 1st, 2nd, 3rd, back to where he started (“home”), at which point he will have scored a point. In practice, he will probably stop partway, wait for the next batter to get a hit, and try to make it home from there.
The Pittsburgh Pirates (in white) are fielding. Their job is to stop the Cubs from scoring by getting them out, by various combinations of catching the ball and tagging people or bases with it.
The scoreboard (top left) shows that one Cub has already made it to second base, so he will resume running now that Javy has a hit. It also shows that two Cubs are out. If a third Cub gets out, their turn to bat will be over, it will be the Pirates’ turn to bat, and the Cubs can’t score anymore (for now, but that’s not relevant).
The Pirate at first base (the first baseman) has the ball. All he needs to do is step on first base while holding it before Javy gets there, and Javy is out. This is probably the number one most common thing a first baseman has to do.
He does not do it.
For some reason he starts chasing Javy, presumably trying to tag him with the ball directly. This is a perfectly legitimate way of getting him out, but also completely unnecessary.
This has never happened to Javy before. Unsure what else to do, he just kind of… jogs backwards away from him.
Meanwhile, the Cub who was at second base (Contreras) has made it all the way back to home. Because the Pirates’ first baseman has helpfully walked the ball back home, he can easily toss it to the Pirate at home (the catcher) who will tag Contreras out.
The catcher doesn’t tag him in time.
The umpire signals that Contreras is safe (not out).
Javy also signals that Contreras is safe, just for fun. He’s never been nearby when a teammate makes it home before, and he’s enjoying himself.
Notice that the score has not changed, even though Contreras made it home. That’s because Javy is still technically running to first base. If he gets out before he reaches it, the Cubs’ turn to bat is over, and nothing else that’s happened since he hit the ball matters.
Javy remembers this, and heads back to first base. The catcher throws the ball to another Pirates fielder, who is frantically running to do the first baseman’s job.
He doesn’t catch it.
Javy is safe at first. Contreras scores (although the scoreboard won’t change for a second).
Javy notices how far away that ball landed, and decides he can make it to second base before anyone picks it up and tags him out.
An offscreen Pirate throws the ball to second base, where another Pirate is ready and waiting to catch it, tag Javy out, and end the Cubs’ turn to bat.
He doesn’t catch it.
Javy is safe at second. The video doesn’t show it, but he will go on to score as well.
This should have been a very easy out for the Pirates, but through two dropped catches and one truly bizarre decision from the first baseman, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and turned it into two points for the Cubs.
The Cubs won this game by two points.

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how splendid
just learned about farming simulator
I mean, I already knew about it, but I just learned about it
Did you know that the target audience for Farming Simulator is actual real-world farmers? Because I didn’t. I just assumed that farmers probably don’t want to go home from a day of farming to do some (presumably highly inaccurate) virtual farming?
Like, imagine if the target audience for Power Washing Simulator was actual professional power washers.
Farming Sim gets sponsored by companies and shit to put ads in their games. But since the game is for farmers, all of the ads target farmers. Advertising products that, realistically, only farmers would be interested in. Aka John Deere tractors and shit.
There’s a fucking farming sim esports league. Where do they play? Agriculture conventions. not gaming conventions. agriculture conventions.
post cancelled this is way funnier
My buddy who is a farmer has the type of planter that drives itself across the field using GPS at a steady speed, and he just needs to turn it around at the end of each row. He added a little folding desk to his chair and plays farming simulator on it while he plants.
okay playing farming simulator while farming is crazy
Look, people hate the real world and come home and play The Sims.
I’ve been meaning to ask this for a while and I am sorry if it comes off oddly. How do you navigate an intelligence gap in a relationships? I have dated men of equivalent or greater intellect and found them inadequate in other ways, but when I have dated men less intelligent than me I become frustrated with them and their insecurities bleed into the relationship. You and Ship (or the personas you perform publicly) seem content. How do you avoid getting frustrated? [cont.]
"[part 2] I mean no insult to Ship of course. They seem very attentive and I used to really enjoy their detective skits. From the contents of your blogs they come across as so much less intellectually curious that it surprises me that you are compatible. Do you get adequate intellectual stimulation from other relationships/is that not a need for you in a partner/are my standards unrealistic?"
i have no idea how to respond to this. we have all been in absolutely helpless hysterics about it for the last thirty minutes. this is by far the most deranged ask I have received about my personal life on this website in my fifteen year career on here, and that is saying quite a lot
i can't decide which part of this message is my favorite, but if I HAD to say, probably the part where you appear to be entirely in earnest about this? in almost any other case I would assume a message like this was an elaborate way of insulting me or my partner or both, but I really genuinely don't think that's the case for you, which is actually MORE confusing. its just so compelling. there's so many layers here. i want to hire someone to cross stitch this for me so I can hang it in our living room. i can hear ship intermittently breaking out in peals of hysterical laughter in the kitchen
you can see on my heart rate monitor when I opened this ask and began laughing helplessly
fell asleep mid convo (unmute)

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everyone post your biggest hear me outs my friend just showed me two conventionally attractive white men in a row i need to teach him what a real hear me out is
.world's largest excavator- nay, world's largest vehicle- the bagger 288
.also, scale reference! just the wheel is 70 feet in diameter
I was curious about Brennan's bird lore and wanted to put all the bird related clips I found together