mumbles n bumbles

the hottest thing a guy can be is barely conscious on the floor while someone lifts his head up by the hair so that you can see his glazed out eyes and the blood running down his face

when tiger met dragon

crouching harry hidden sally

probably tomorrow i'm gonna somehow be more organized and disciplined than i ever have been in my whole life so i'm fine probably

person (non-practicing)

I have a bisexual guppy and its funny as hell to watch because it seems like he’s only bi out of desperation. Like all of the female guppies are unimpressed by him, and dont accept his mating displays, and every time he fails, he goes over to a SPECIFIC male guppy (the prettiest male guppy in the tank) like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and that male guppy always lets him????

i would read that fanfic ngl

About my fish??

FUJOSHI FISH????

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

shane hears ilya’s voice coming from the bedroom and he’s confused about who ilya is talking to, thinks maybe he’s on the phone to someone. but then he walks in to ilya standing over the open drawer in shane’s bedside table voice directed at his dildo and shane is standing there confused and a little horrified because he hasn’t showed ilya his dildo yet and shane is like what is going in why are you talking to my dildo and ilya says i was looking for the spare charger but then found this and i wanted to introduce myself to mr dildo. and shane is like first of all don’t call it mr dildo actually don’t give it a name at all, second of all…why? and ilya says well i needed to see my competition and also mr dildo was the first to be inside you and i think i should thank him for making you feel so good that you wanted to try the real thing, and shane blinks five times and then leaves the bedroom without saying anything

queer discourse final boss