awaiting pantheon smp with terror and excitement

i hate australian people they need a dumb fucking nickname for every single word. can’t even get in a car accident without some australian asshole coming up to you and saying “oh gotcha self in a carblammy there aintcha mate” kill yourself and go to hell

youre not nothingburger in fact you are everything bagel

Spiritually my spirit is always smoking a cigarette but physically i am.not because hashatg smoking kills

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

@funnier-as-a-system

tumblrs ui design is so ass like its so incredibly easy to just misclick and unfollow a beloved long time mutual or follow some cunt instead of blocking them or send someone a random post on accident . and theyre still just like "yeep the only possible improvement our ui could ever use is Make Everything Circles i think. and maybe add a few more buttons nobody uses"

clicking "see all" on someone's tags and the missing by a single pixel, causing tumblr.com in its genius to show me all zero posts in the "#and okay the really fucked up thing about this if you ask me" tag

REBLOG if you have amazing talented artist friends!

@teedrinkingtea

the meaning of life? is to make your bedroom as comfy as possible. that's it that's the purpose

the secondary purpose is to equip your kitchen and get really really really into international cuisine

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

They make me physically ill

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

🫩 no i don't think those characters are siblings i think they're friends. I don't think that's their mom I actually think she's their friend. I don't think they're related actually I think they're friends with each other.

no white gay boy will ever reblog this, watch:

no white gay will reblog this

no white lgb person will reblog this

Without Stonewall, without the efforts of Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, the LGBTQ Community wouldn’t be where it is today. Don’t forget the roots, don’t forget the catalyst.

And whatever you do, don’t watch that awful movie Stonewall.  Go watch a documentary on Marsha P. Johnson instead.

there’s a wonderful documentary on netflix called the death and life of marsha p. johnson! very powerful watch.

every white person ever should reblog this

why do we never hear about this?

The POC members of our community are the foundation!!!!!!!!

Always up for helping spread some important history

Same, especially when it’s about one of my favorite historical figures