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accidentally bared my teeth in front of a cute girl and she took it as a sign of aggression and started mauling me to death. eff em ell!

Top Ten Children's Cartoon Characters Who Probably Should Not Have Had Unhingeable Jaws With Rows and Rows of Far Too Many Teeth

Can You Beat Super Bumper Bario Without Completing A Single Token?

they need to add a dust emoji. applications: to express that you have been ground up into dust. when you can't speak and you are coughing up dust. when you are dry and crumble into dust. when you are old and covered with dust. when a villain attacks your home and everything has been reduced to dust

I'm on a sea turtle diet; I see turtle and I eat it

I'm not into being talked down to or treated like an animal but I think if I was strong and powerful and unbeatable and was coerced to carry out violent justice in a woman's name I wouldn't mind being called her dog every once in a while as long as she lets me eat at the table and not out of a bowl

no... we can't be friends anymore.... your minecraft skin is ugly and you didn't even draw it yourself...

california girls we're unfor... givable... *eyes glaze over stares blankly into the distance*

I'm so sorry that my dog activated rage mode and killed your dog in one hit... as an apology, would perhaps these, aha, flowers and chocolates suffice? or perhaps, a kiss? 😘

girl you so personalitous that I bet when you were at the personality factory waiting to be assigned one you said "a personality, for personali-me? yum yum yummy!" and then they gave you one

misheard da boss and accidentally spent all the developer budget on gay sapphics rather than game graphics... sigh frick my lesbien life!!

wait—omigosh, do you play video games too? um, hehe *shyly tucks hair behind ears* what's your steam name? we should play league of le*a hawk swoops down and carries me away and you never see me again*

hate living in the circus. saw a monkey squeeze a banana so it popped out of the peel into the air and caught it in its mouth, then tossed the peel over its shoulder. one of the clowns noticed it too and made a beeline straight for it and slipped and flipped several times in the air before hitting the ground. I can't tell if she's still breathing