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your training is not nearly complete... try to land even a single blow on me, and I may acknowledge your strength *you lay me flat with a single light jab and I don't get up or move until I'm wheeled out of the room and the real sensei finally shows up a few minutes later*

after many years I finally found one of my white whales, a corporate dystopia novel I once read in high school where a plot-essential conflict was resolved through the medium of a PVP war within a Super Mario Bros. MMORPG (For the Win by Cory Doctorow, 2010)

been having wild late night lesbian fantasies about lore dumping NES JRPG history to random girls at parties or clubs (never been to a party or a club) and it doesn't lead to anything and they're not even that impressed they just go "huh. neat. kinda interesting that you know about these things... I guess..."

bro I'm so washed... my dinner is so cooked... goin to bed bcus my day is so over...

a lady so gentle and pure her mouth is injured by all but the softest breads and cakes so she eats a single mote of the brightest light and is full for the rest of the day

crazy how even after 40 years they still haven't managed to invent a better gaming experience than playing Dragon Warrior on the NES with the manual and some grid paper

your plushies love you and know that you love them, they can be nourished for months with just a few squeezes and headpats. guarding your room when you're not around is their favorite activity and they don't need any more enrichment than that but if you want to hold them and play with them that works too

no yeah, uh, that ticket for a free hug is no longer valid. no it's not the same day, look, it just expired at midnight. just give it up already

you're friends with Mary? Mary Sue, that Mary? ummm... I heard she was literally kind of problematic though...? like she literally awakened to her half cat angel half blood devil ancestry at the dance last friday. you're literally acting like you think cat angel blood devil ancestry is an okay thing to have so we're not going to hang out with you anymore... #cancelled...

giving a girl a burger and fries and chocolate shake is a morally pure and just action and WILL grant you access to the kingdom of heaven regardless of any past sins

I honestly love drawings of a person holding a baby where the artist doesn't really have any experience with the size of a babies beyond a general understanding that they are Small, and you end up with children the size of ice cream cones that can be held in one hand

I wanna go back in time and feed an andrewsarchus a really big bowl of really hot peppers to see how it feels about them

just don't really understand why you would graverob when you literally already have a skeleton that you got for free

um, is it just me, or is grilled cheese with a fried egg and bacon on it kind of epic actually...?