be ace commit arson

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

christian pitcher throws an unbaptized baby

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

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Not the citrus scale I was looking for but I like it

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

Which will fade first? Memories of the Area 51 "raid", or memories of Internet Explorer?

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

people who put their gum under tables are wild animals they literally do not have higher level cognitive functions. they live in nature.

calling them wild animals is an insult to nature

sorry you’re right i should’ve said baboons

I call my father Babbu but I hate my father Die father

Die Babbu

^ This Die Babbu

Hell on babbu technique

society if “nonsexual nudity” extended to trans women

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

Shakespeare is like this

Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this

Hell yeah moon holiday

Ooh coming up we should celebrate

PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)

MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY

moon day is 20th July!!!

Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!

Happy moon day to all who celebrate

This is your reminder to prep for Moon Day on July 20th.

MOON DAY MONDAY THIS MONTH NOT A DRILL!!!!!

HAPPY MOON DAY

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats