O Great One...

being 24 is really not It.

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

FUCK THAT'S THE WRONG IMAGE

my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military

I bet if a mushroom could lap water out of your hand with a tongue that a gently drinking mushroom tongue on your hand would be the softest and gentlest thing.

jesus christ, i experienced brief but severe grief over not actually being able to experience this.

I think it would feel like a lizard tongue but I've never had a lizard drink out of my hand either, and thus the whole thing remains conceptually elusive.

This makes me indescribably overjoyed.

[guy whose bedtime is approaching fast] I need to write one billion words right now. and draw everything that has ever existed.

Mondays aren't that bad once you cannot tell days apart from eachother

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

have we tried biting people my liege

yeah,

February in St. Louis. (And in our hearts.)

should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*

i' m something of a pigeons and rats myself

there should be warnings for when new media is about to take over your dashboard. Whiteguy Enemies To Lovers Sports Yaoi released this week, prepare for gif invasion. hockey mutuals are particularly susceptible, blacklist if needed. New Video Game! there will be fanart of a strange bat creature. do not fear him. Phannie Renaissance expected to continue strong in the coming week. and so on

From my family to yours, may you have a very happy fifth if Wednesday.