Emerald Asylum

OP: How to fold a flying pig. (cr简开JK)

There's a difference between a man who is immature and buys into misogynistic views of beauty and aging and one who is a predator. Also, many actual predators? Not losers and able to move through society pretty freely being seen as cool and the ideal, so conflating the two isn't helpful.

if a 40 year old dude only dates 25 year olds, DiCaprio style or something adjacent to it, then yeah he's a loser

if a 40 year old dude meets a 25 year old through social event or friends or whatever and they happen to hit it off and make a go of it, and this isn't some sort of reoccurring pattern for the guy, that's just a relationship with an age difference

being predatory means something specific, and man I agree w/ OP and really wish people just stopped ascribing it to any and all relationship dynamics they personally might not like

Legally (I live in the UK) we were not minors, although we inhabited an odd legal limbo until we turned 18, and we were certainly not “children”. Intellectually, socially, though, we were considered (young) adults, or at the most “older teenagers.” We were expected to read mostly adult books (rather than middle grade or YA), watch the news/read papers, watch mostly adult television.

And I do think we a bit under-protected, under-supported, and in some cases - neglected and financially exploited - and I’m not necessarily advocating that. But it did make us feel, I think, in charge of our own lives, capable and competent to make decisions.

At 16-17 my parents knew they could leave me alone overnight/for a couple of nights, and I wouldn’t starve or burn the house down. I felt comfortable getting cross country trains on my own, or booking and staying at a hotel (yes, with my boyfriend.)

Then there was this… creeping of sentiments that we were all Too Young to trouble our heads about certain things. A lot of it was good - more stringent licensing laws, raising the school leaving age, raising the minimum smoking age(!) - but some of the broader cultural stuff was… a bit patronising? Eg, the introduction of “New Adult” as a category of books aimed at 18-25 year olds, the way cartoons and books written for the 9-12 age group were being marketed as for the 12-15 age group, referring to late teens as “children,” etc etc.

Then, in 2008, there was the big financial crash and suddenly my generation were (broadly) robbed of all the usual markers of adulthood and success, meaning that we got ‘stuck’ in the lifestyles and modes our late teens/early 20s. And suddenly, all the emphasis shifted from social and legal protections for late teens/ younger adults, to legal restrictions on their freedoms/rights, and strange philosophical protections on the emotional states.

So, OF COURSE a 23 year old can’t buy a beer without carrying an ID card, and a 17 year old can’t have a crush on a 16 year old, but also, because you’re *children* you don’t need to live like adults. So the UK government got to save money by saying “18 isn’t a proper adult,” then “20 isn’t a proper adult,” and “25 isn’t a proper adult” because it meant they could refuse to give single occupancy housing benefit rates to people of those ages (I think they’ve raised it over 30 now.) Or by refusing to clamp down on exploitative temporary/zero hours contracts - because they’re just “temp jobs for young people!”, or by raising the retirement age because “60 is far too young to retire. You’re not a real adult until 35.”

And it means the discursive environment is such that you can claim that a 21 year old trans person is too young to make their own medical decisions, or a 15 year old is too young to consent to the contraceptive pill.

Meanwhile, they are not offering additional *protections* to these newly infantilised adults. 18 year olds are still encouraged to saddle themselves with enormous educational debt, or allowed to have credit cards, or expected to pay rent, or no longer receive child benefits. You still have to *work*. In fact, in the States, they’re looking to removed child employment restrictions - but that’s fine, because 20 year olds are being protected from making their own medical decisions, and adults get to say which books their teen kids are reading in school, and kids aren’t allowed to change their name or what they wear without parental consent.

We can see what these people are doing to the rights of children - so why are we being so complacent in expanding the definition of ‘child’?

Regardless - 25 is VERY CLEARLY an adult. At 25 I was married, had two kids, an overdraft, rent to pay, and experience of living in the world for 6 years. I had more in common with someone of 40 than I did with someone of 15. Hell, at*20* I had more in common with someone of 40 than someone of 15. Any sexual or relationship decisions you make at 25 are your own to make.

Of course there are likely to be power imbalances in a 15 year age gap - which is why most 25 year olds don’t date 40somethings - but not actually necessarily. And yeah, a 40 year old who only dates 20somethings is a skeeze - just like a 30 year old who routinely ingratiates themselves with rich 80 year olds is a skeeze.

But if any young people are reading this (doubt it)… your rights are much, much more important than your protections.

Yes, young people should be protected, but if someone claims they’re protecting you while denying you access to personal autonomy, financial stability, intellectual curiosity, or sexual self-determination because you’re “too young” to need, or understand those things… be very suspicious of their motives.

skin color ref because some of yall non-black poc and whites keep fucking up as if yall don’t know there’s other shades of brown when u racebend for woke points or something 

“[Trump is] Netanyahu, in a different language” —2019 campaign ad

Likud supporters wave MAGA flags after Bibi won in 2019

People on here evidently weren’t paying as much attention to what the US did wrt Israel under Trump, but it was bad. That’s not an endorsement of present US policy, but a warning that the people saying “It couldn’t possibly get worse than Biden” are wrong, and often maliciously so.

And as you all know I Am currently taking a geology class, so I am probably more emotionally invested in minerals than usual. But that is...very obviously not a natural crystal.

So I did some looking around on Etsy.

Now, these shops all seem to advertise to the “witchy”/“spiritual healing” type of person. And there are a lot of them. Crystals are a Big Thing on Etsy. And ALMOST ALL of them are obviously artificially cut into the same sort of prism with a triangular pyramid top, regardless of the actual sort of crystal it is supposed to be.

Even like, fucking, obsidian. Obsidian is volcanic glass, it doesn’t form crystals at all, it is not a crystal

And as I scroll, I start to see items in...interesting shapes:

“Oh,” I think to myself. “Oh no.”

But it is too late. I have heard the siren’s song, singing to me of knowledge that will destroy me, but that I cannot help but seek.

These...elongated objects are almost always ambiguously described as “massage wands,” “crystal healing wands,” and other such innocuous things. The egg-shaped objects are, um, “yoni eggs.”

...Right. Okay.

Maintain the youthfulness of my sacred organ.

IT’S A SEX TOY. SAY IT. BITCH, IT’S A SEX TOY, IT’S OKAY, SERIOUSLY, THERE’S NO SHAME IN IT, SAY IT WITH PRIDE, SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST,

OKAY.

Okay. I’m good. I’m fine.

Actually, you know what, never mind. There is shame in this and I want it to be never acknowledged again.

Additionally, I am not fine.

Why the fuck are there so many of these—

At this point I stop and start googling.

Now, Selenite is the crystalline form of gypsum. It is also known as satin spar. Selenite is brittle and breaks easily, and has a Mohs hardness scale of 2.

For those unfamiliar with the Mohs hardness scale, a mineral with a hardness of 2 is soft enough that it can be easily scratched with a fingernail. It also is dissolved by moisture.

NO. DON’T PUT THAT IN YOUR BODY???? DON’T PUT THE GYPSUM, WHICH HAS A MOHS HARDNESS SCALE OF 2, IS BRITTLE AND BREAKS EASILY, AND IS WATER SOLUBLE, INSIDE YOUR LITERAL ACTUAL VAGINA??????????

I try to reassure myself with the fact that these things are probably not actually selenite, because making a dildo out of such a soft mineral in the first place would be very difficult. Having seen fluorite before, I feel pretty certain that the fluorite yoni eggs are probably actually just glass.

I google fluorite.

Okay.

Further exploring online shows me that fluorite is soluble in various strong acids.

Some guys on a forum in 2004 have strong contradictory opinions on this.

(I google the pH of the vagina.)

I don’t understand how pH works. I give up on the solubility question and google the toxicity of fluorite:

I now know at least one orifice fluorite does not go inside.

I have opened Pandora’s box, except Pandora’s box is filled with minerals God did not intend to be anywhere near the vagina carved into the shape of dildos. Etsy is advertising me sex toys I wish I could forget.

And vaginal steam herbs.

It seems that there is potentially a correlation between wanting to steam your vagina and wanting to put rocks in it. I know, groundbreaking discovery.

Okay, so we’re talking therapy substitute therapy substitute.

(I begin to think about how desperately we need universal health care. Maybe I just need someone, something, to blame.)

At this point, I realize that I haven’t done any googling on whether dildos made of rocks are a good idea at all. So, very tentatively, as if typing it more slowly will make it any less observed by the FBI, I google whether quartz should be used...internally.

First result that pops up:

That’s, uh. That’s reassuring.

I decide I’m incapable of unpacking this particular suitcase.

There are, of course, a small handful of articles debating the safety of rose quartz sex toys. But I’m getting the feeling that this is not a normal question to have in the first place. I close the tab with little relief.

Etsy is still enthusiastically recommending me things that hurt me psychologically.

...pleasure chalk?

How can I describe the fear that this image struck in me, reader?

Pleasure Chalk? What could that be?

Is knowing worse, or is not knowing? I scarcely have a choice:

I check in with my emotions.

Is this relief? Am I relieved that they are eating the dirt instead of fucking it? One review complains about the taste. I don’t know what they expected.

I try in vain to struggle against the tide, to return to the relatively normal side of Etsy. I begin to resent, no, hate, these deceptively aesthetically pleasing hippie shops eagerly spreading medical misinformation and things as yet unknown.

This, unlike the other “crystals” I have shown, appears to show naturally grown crystals. They are, of course, quartz crystals, and $45 comes off as extremely overpriced. I have a quartz crystal I got for a dollar at an Eastern Kentucky rock festival, about the size and quality of the ones in the photo.

Quartz is the most common mineral in the Earth’s crust. But at least this is regular levels of annoying.

Then I see this:

Well, I see the photo and the price, and I think, that looks like a regular quartz crystal. There’s no way a regular quartz crystal is $1,347.

I read the description:

I am crying. I don’t want to google any of this. I am beyond googling. I no longer desire knowledge.

THATS A QUARTZ CRYSTAL. MOTHERFUCKER THAT’S QUARTZ. SIO2, MOST COMMON MINERAL IN THE EARTH’S CRUST. ITS FUCKING QUARTZ IM—

I click on a malachite.

The malachite promises to protect me from emails. And at this, darkest hour, I want to be protected.

I have been broken. I have been lured to my demise.

Big Brother: loved.

Geology lab I’m supposed to be doing: incomplete.

And also some of Calboy’s children!

ALT

I was about to say he would technically be an intersex king (not because I dislike the concept of trans cats, just bc intersex rep is sorely needed too) but I did some more reading on this icon and actually found the article OP referenced.

ALT

He’s not your usual male calico kitty as it turns out. That’s already cool and rare, but he’s even cooler and rarer than that!

ALT

ALT

(He’s so pretty 🥰)

But I also found a source for the article screenshotted above! And folks it’s WILD. It’s an incredibly interesting read if you happen to love hearing about niche hobby drama. It’s also just a fantastically written article!

The parts I find the most interesting are about how conservative the cat fanciers association is. This isn’t even all of the parts that talk about that.

“They’re trying to discharge her constructively. Do you know what Constructive Discharge means?” She asked.

As soon as I heard the term ‘Constructive Discharge,’ I knew I’d never seen it on a vocabulary quiz.

“No. What does it mean?” I asked.

She explained.

“Constructive discharge is a fancy way of saying “being forced out.” It’s not good. And if you’re not a lawyer or in human resources, you’ll probably learn what it means when it’s happening to you.”

“Oh my God. I’ve seen this my entire career and never knew it even had a name.” I thought.

You’ve seen constructive Discharge too. You may have experienced it. We’ve all made choices to avoid it.

Constructive discharge defined

“We can’t fire you, but we’ll make you so miserable you’ll quit, and then we won’t have to pay your unemployment.”

Then there’s the textbook definition:

“A constructive discharge occurs when your employer has made working conditions unbearable, forcing you to resign.”

Or as one person put it.

“I didn’t get handed a pink slip, but when you’re not wanted, people have a way of letting you know.”

HR isn’t always the secret police.

Employees aren’t always victims of evil-doers.

However, employers push employees out all the time to maintain and protect the, “We didn’t do anything wrong, YOU did,” power structure.

Constructive Discharge looks like this:

— Meeting invitations slow to a trickle, and you’re excluded from emails and generally looped out of what’s going on.

— People stop talking to you or stop talking when you walk in.

— Your emails don’t get answers, or they arrive too late to be of value.

— Suddenly, your work is not good enough, though nothing about your work has changed.

— Reviews, once good or even glowing, are now mediocre or bad.

— Instead of a bonus, you get a Performance Improvement Plan.

— Warnings and write-ups start so they can justify your eventual termination with documentation of your “poor performance”

— Your work, clients, assignments go away, or they overwhelm you with work.

— The words “Set up to fail” were practically invented to describe this scenario.

Constructive Discharge is illegal

It isn’t easy to prove you’re a target, and it’s even more challenging if you don’t even know constructive discharge is a real thing.

If you’ve ever experienced this and don’t fully understand what’s happening to you beyond knowing you’re in the process of being excommunicated, it can be hell. It’s not uncommon for the experience to leave long-lasting scars.

Talk to anyone who’s ever been through it. They’ll tell you.

Knowing constructive discharge exists and how it’s used gives you power to predict what’s coming and to protect yourself.

Seeing the endgame helps you in two ways.

You know what to expect. Having a sense of what’s coming next is enormously empowering. You can go on the offensive and protect yourself. Constructive discharge works to crush your ego, making you feel you did something wrong and deserve this treatment.

Without strategy, you end up being a miserable pawn in your employer’s endgame.

Remember, they’re almost certainly building a case to fire you in the event the hellscape they create for you doesn’t persuade you to quit.

If you’re getting pushed out, and you know what to look for you can prove constructive discharge and you can get unemployment benefits, be released from payback obligations on a signing bonus, and protect your mental health.

You’re not crazy, incompetent, or a failure. This is real and it’s carefully executed to leave you holding the bag and feeling like you did something wrong.

In the US, you have A FEDERAL RIGHT to communicate to your boss that you see what they’re doing, and by so doing, YOU RETAIN YOUR RIGHT TO UNEMPLOYMENT—EVEN IF YOU QUIT!!!

Here’s how it works.

1) go to work tomorrow and read the employee rights poster. By law, they’re required to have one, and they’re usually located in the breakroom. It looks something like this:

Usually, this will be posted next to a state labor laws poster, as well. (Also required by law, but I have seen them posted in two separate locations due to a building having a stupid wall layout, so if you don’t see both, do some poking.) There are a few different styles of these posters, but they’re all basically variations on a theme, so you should be able to recognize yours from the image posted above. I’ve read them hundreds of times in the last eight years, just to keep my memory fresh. If you don’t see such a poster, contact your state labor board, because that is VERY ILLEGAL. The law is unambiguous on this: the poster must be posted in a highly-visible (to employees) location that is readily accessible. Not in your boss’s office, not in HR, not on the back of the fridge. Highly visible, readily accessible, REQUIRED BY LAW. If you have to contact the labor board on this one, skip straight to step 2b while you’re at it, because your boss is up to some shady shit.

2a) now that you’ve had the primer of your rights as an employee, if everything is good for you, great! Keep an eye out and revisit these from time to time to be sure you’re not missing anything, especially if things start feeling rough. If things are NOT good for you, progress to 2b.

2b) if you suspect you’re the target of constructive discharge, DOCUMENT. EVERYTHING. Dates too, if you can remember them, although if you’re trying to remember “as far back as you can go” when you begin to document, your dates might be a little hazier. Ask for personal hard copies of any consultations, write-ups, improvement plans, reviews, etc. and so forth that you receive. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THIS DOCUMENTATION. Keep all of this in a file. If any of your coworkers make comments on what’s happening to you, note those down too: “on 1 July I called to inform my supervisor I’d be late due to an unexpected flat tire. I arrived six minutes after my shift was due to begin. I received a corrective action form. My coworker Linda commented that she was surprised, because although this is my first tardy in over three years, other employees with repeated, significantly more severe tardies do not receive corrective action forms. My supervisor did not explain why he felt I required this form after a single incident of tardiness.” If you know what you’re being asked to do is illegal, MAKE THAT CLEAR IN YOUR DOCUMENTATION. “After hearing me mention to Sarah that I was hoping for a raise, supervisor Paul asked to have a one-on-one and required me to sign a form stating I would not discuss my salary, in contravention of state and federal law.”

3) when you feel you have sufficient evidence that Some Bullshit Is Afoot, it’s time to write to your HR department. Instructions on how to do this will be on that poster (sorry, I’m home and getting ready for bed, I don’t have this part memorized), but basically you’re going to be telling them that conditions have deteriorated such that you may be forced to resign if they don’t improve. Note that the phrase “forced to resign” is IMPORTANT AS HELL. Make sure you keep a hard copy of this letter for yourself.

4) You now have to give them 10-14 days to read, respond, and implement changes (I forget the exact number of days but it’s in there somewhere). CONTINUE TO DOCUMENT.

5) best case scenario, they realize they done fucked up, and things will change for the better. More likely scenario, you have to quit. HOWEVER, if you have followed all of these steps correctly, you can still claim unemployment.

6) now go contact the IWW for information on how to start talking union to your coworkers before it gets this far: www.iww.org

And finally, a note because this has happened to me and statistically either has or will happen to some of you:

If at any time the poor conditions should escalate to include sexual assault or harassment by a supervisor, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200, CALL THE LABOR BOARD IMMEDIATELY. Make an EXACT record of what happened: write down statements verbatim, if you were touched inappropriately make note of exactly how and where, if you were offered any kind of quid pro quo (e.g., a promotion in exchange for oral sex; sex in exchange for continued employment) make note of EXACTLY what was offered and asked for. It is 100% okay to call the labor board and say “I don’t know what to do, my boss groped my breasts today and told me he’d have a talk with his supervisor about my pay rate ‘if I was nice’. Please tell me what to do, I’m afraid if I quit I’ll lose unemployment.” Someone will be able to help you. In cases like these, do not wait. This is also true if you’re blatantly racially or religiously discriminated against. Please note when I say “blatant,” that’s a much higher standard than what Tumblr understands as blatant. If your boss says you’re pretty cool for an N-word, call. If your boss makes a disparaging comment about doo-rags, document and hold your horses for now. (Is that a microaggression? Yes. Is that something the labor board will find actionable? Not on its own.)

If you’ve been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan, ask for digital and hard copies of the plan that have been signed by HR.

If you have the strength to do it, accept the PIP, and indulge in malicious compliance. Do everything exactly as it’s outlined in the PIP document and nothing more. Overachieving against a PIP won’t help your situation, but don’t quit.

Keep copies of every email and message related to your PIP on a separate USB.

Find your company handbook. It is probably hidden somewhere on an internal website. Save a copy to the USB so you can research it for ANYTHING that might help you negotiate with HR at the end.

Keep all of your notes on the same USB.

Always assume your work computer has spyware on it.

None of this will help you keep your job. Remember that. All of this is to help you negotiate with HR when it’s time to review your PIP performance. WHEN they say you didn’t meet the goals that were outlined, refer to your stack of documentation and give specific examples of where you met those goals. Ask HR what the next steps are. Your ultimate goal is to make HR suggest that you and the company part ways.

DO NOT AGREE TO THAT MAGIC STATEMENT. That’s when you start negotiating the terms of the company letting you go. The things I politely demanded AND GOT in writing:

3 months salary.

All remaining vacation time paid out.

Continued insurance coverage for 3 months.

A guarantee of a good reference if any potential employer asked for one.

A guarantee that the company would not contest my unemployment claim.

“They’re trying to discharge her constructively. Do you know what Constructive Discharge means?” She asked.

As soon as I heard the term ‘Constructive Discharge,’ I knew I’d never seen it on a vocabulary quiz.

“No. What does it mean?” I asked.

She explained.

“Constructive discharge is a fancy way of saying “being forced out.” It’s not good. And if you’re not a lawyer or in human resources, you’ll probably learn what it means when it’s happening to you.”

“Oh my God. I’ve seen this my entire career and never knew it even had a name.” I thought.

You’ve seen constructive Discharge too. You may have experienced it. We’ve all made choices to avoid it.

Constructive discharge defined

“We can’t fire you, but we’ll make you so miserable you’ll quit, and then we won’t have to pay your unemployment.”

Then there’s the textbook definition:

“A constructive discharge occurs when your employer has made working conditions unbearable, forcing you to resign.”

Or as one person put it.

“I didn’t get handed a pink slip, but when you’re not wanted, people have a way of letting you know.”

HR isn’t always the secret police.

Employees aren’t always victims of evil-doers.

However, employers push employees out all the time to maintain and protect the, “We didn’t do anything wrong, YOU did,” power structure.

Constructive Discharge looks like this:

— Meeting invitations slow to a trickle, and you’re excluded from emails and generally looped out of what’s going on.

— People stop talking to you or stop talking when you walk in.

— Your emails don’t get answers, or they arrive too late to be of value.

— Suddenly, your work is not good enough, though nothing about your work has changed.

— Reviews, once good or even glowing, are now mediocre or bad.

— Instead of a bonus, you get a Performance Improvement Plan.

— Warnings and write-ups start so they can justify your eventual termination with documentation of your “poor performance”

— Your work, clients, assignments go away, or they overwhelm you with work.

— The words “Set up to fail” were practically invented to describe this scenario.

Constructive Discharge is illegal

It isn’t easy to prove you’re a target, and it’s even more challenging if you don’t even know constructive discharge is a real thing.

If you’ve ever experienced this and don’t fully understand what’s happening to you beyond knowing you’re in the process of being excommunicated, it can be hell. It’s not uncommon for the experience to leave long-lasting scars.

Talk to anyone who’s ever been through it. They’ll tell you.

Knowing constructive discharge exists and how it’s used gives you power to predict what’s coming and to protect yourself.

Seeing the endgame helps you in two ways.

You know what to expect. Having a sense of what’s coming next is enormously empowering. You can go on the offensive and protect yourself. Constructive discharge works to crush your ego, making you feel you did something wrong and deserve this treatment.

Without strategy, you end up being a miserable pawn in your employer’s endgame.

Remember, they’re almost certainly building a case to fire you in the event the hellscape they create for you doesn’t persuade you to quit.

If you’re getting pushed out, and you know what to look for you can prove constructive discharge and you can get unemployment benefits, be released from payback obligations on a signing bonus, and protect your mental health.

You’re not crazy, incompetent, or a failure. This is real and it’s carefully executed to leave you holding the bag and feeling like you did something wrong.

In the US, you have A FEDERAL RIGHT to communicate to your boss that you see what they’re doing, and by so doing, YOU RETAIN YOUR RIGHT TO UNEMPLOYMENT—EVEN IF YOU QUIT!!!

Here’s how it works.

1) go to work tomorrow and read the employee rights poster. By law, they’re required to have one, and they’re usually located in the breakroom. It looks something like this:

Usually, this will be posted next to a state labor laws poster, as well. (Also required by law, but I have seen them posted in two separate locations due to a building having a stupid wall layout, so if you don’t see both, do some poking.) There are a few different styles of these posters, but they’re all basically variations on a theme, so you should be able to recognize yours from the image posted above. I’ve read them hundreds of times in the last eight years, just to keep my memory fresh. If you don’t see such a poster, contact your state labor board, because that is VERY ILLEGAL. The law is unambiguous on this: the poster must be posted in a highly-visible (to employees) location that is readily accessible. Not in your boss’s office, not in HR, not on the back of the fridge. Highly visible, readily accessible, REQUIRED BY LAW. If you have to contact the labor board on this one, skip straight to step 2b while you’re at it, because your boss is up to some shady shit.

2a) now that you’ve had the primer of your rights as an employee, if everything is good for you, great! Keep an eye out and revisit these from time to time to be sure you’re not missing anything, especially if things start feeling rough. If things are NOT good for you, progress to 2b.

2b) if you suspect you’re the target of constructive discharge, DOCUMENT. EVERYTHING. Dates too, if you can remember them, although if you’re trying to remember “as far back as you can go” when you begin to document, your dates might be a little hazier. Ask for personal hard copies of any consultations, write-ups, improvement plans, reviews, etc. and so forth that you receive. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THIS DOCUMENTATION. Keep all of this in a file. If any of your coworkers make comments on what’s happening to you, note those down too: “on 1 July I called to inform my supervisor I’d be late due to an unexpected flat tire. I arrived six minutes after my shift was due to begin. I received a corrective action form. My coworker Linda commented that she was surprised, because although this is my first tardy in over three years, other employees with repeated, significantly more severe tardies do not receive corrective action forms. My supervisor did not explain why he felt I required this form after a single incident of tardiness.” If you know what you’re being asked to do is illegal, MAKE THAT CLEAR IN YOUR DOCUMENTATION. “After hearing me mention to Sarah that I was hoping for a raise, supervisor Paul asked to have a one-on-one and required me to sign a form stating I would not discuss my salary, in contravention of state and federal law.”

3) when you feel you have sufficient evidence that Some Bullshit Is Afoot, it’s time to write to your HR department. Instructions on how to do this will be on that poster (sorry, I’m home and getting ready for bed, I don’t have this part memorized), but basically you’re going to be telling them that conditions have deteriorated such that you may be forced to resign if they don’t improve. Note that the phrase “forced to resign” is IMPORTANT AS HELL. Make sure you keep a hard copy of this letter for yourself.

4) You now have to give them 10-14 days to read, respond, and implement changes (I forget the exact number of days but it’s in there somewhere). CONTINUE TO DOCUMENT.

5) best case scenario, they realize they done fucked up, and things will change for the better. More likely scenario, you have to quit. HOWEVER, if you have followed all of these steps correctly, you can still claim unemployment.

6) now go contact the IWW for information on how to start talking union to your coworkers before it gets this far: www.iww.org

And finally, a note because this has happened to me and statistically either has or will happen to some of you:

If at any time the poor conditions should escalate to include sexual assault or harassment by a supervisor, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200, CALL THE LABOR BOARD IMMEDIATELY. Make an EXACT record of what happened: write down statements verbatim, if you were touched inappropriately make note of exactly how and where, if you were offered any kind of quid pro quo (e.g., a promotion in exchange for oral sex; sex in exchange for continued employment) make note of EXACTLY what was offered and asked for. It is 100% okay to call the labor board and say “I don’t know what to do, my boss groped my breasts today and told me he’d have a talk with his supervisor about my pay rate ‘if I was nice’. Please tell me what to do, I’m afraid if I quit I’ll lose unemployment.” Someone will be able to help you. In cases like these, do not wait. This is also true if you’re blatantly racially or religiously discriminated against. Please note when I say “blatant,” that’s a much higher standard than what Tumblr understands as blatant. If your boss says you’re pretty cool for an N-word, call. If your boss makes a disparaging comment about doo-rags, document and hold your horses for now. (Is that a microaggression? Yes. Is that something the labor board will find actionable? Not on its own.)

If you’ve been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan, ask for digital and hard copies of the plan that have been signed by HR.

If you have the strength to do it, accept the PIP, and indulge in malicious compliance. Do everything exactly as it’s outlined in the PIP document and nothing more. Overachieving against a PIP won’t help your situation, but don’t quit.

Keep copies of every email and message related to your PIP on a separate USB.

Find your company handbook. It is probably hidden somewhere on an internal website. Save a copy to the USB so you can research it for ANYTHING that might help you negotiate with HR at the end.

Keep all of your notes on the same USB.

Always assume your work computer has spyware on it.

None of this will help you keep your job. Remember that. All of this is to help you negotiate with HR when it’s time to review your PIP performance. WHEN they say you didn’t meet the goals that were outlined, refer to your stack of documentation and give specific examples of where you met those goals. Ask HR what the next steps are. Your ultimate goal is to make HR suggest that you and the company part ways.

DO NOT AGREE TO THAT MAGIC STATEMENT. That’s when you start negotiating the terms of the company letting you go. The things I politely demanded AND GOT in writing:

3 months salary.

All remaining vacation time paid out.

Continued insurance coverage for 3 months.

A guarantee of a good reference if any potential employer asked for one.

A guarantee that the company would not contest my unemployment claim.

We've confirmed the plot: there's an uprising among the race of hook-nosed bankers who control the economy. (Note that the more evil they are, the bigger their noses are. There's a good one who has a big nose but he used to be evil when he was younger.) They're "rebelling" because they want their stolen cultural artefacts to be returned to them and want to not be oppressed anymore, which for some reason means they also want to massacre their oppressors' entire race, because of course marginalised people asking for liberation actually secretly want to kill you. As part of this sinister cabal's nefarious plot for white—I mean, wizard—extinction, they want to kidnap a child, because that's what hook-nosed bankers like to do, right? And their leader is willing to do anything for material gain, up to and including teaming up with fascists who hate his race.

You guys know that conspiracy theorists think Jews funded the Holocaust, right? They claim we did it so we could milk it for reparation money afterwards. And did you know they think we kidnap children? Or that we actually want supremacy rather than equality, and plan to subjugate the rest of the world for our own gain? Presumably you've at least heard the claim that we control the banks. And you know this is all very popular with the alt right, don't you? Have you also heard that this game's original head developer was an alt right YouTuber?

Don't act like this is a fucking coincidence.

No, JKR wasn't involved in the game, and it's actively intended to be trans-positive. Yes, she gets money from it, and will likely donate some of that to anti-trans causes. But even if you pirate the game so she doesn't make any money off of it, you're still going to be be playing the fucking Protocols of the Elders of Gringotts.

元宵yuanxiao or 汤圆tangyuan in cute shape for yuanxiao festival 

DO NOT THROW THEM BACK FOR FUCK’S SAKE. 

That’s an Asian Carp, and they ARE invasive. The Iowa DNR encourages people to catch, kill, and eat as many as possible. 

It does not have two eyes on the same side; it just has a mark there that looks sorta like one. 

Another pic;

They mostly eat plants, but sometimes will get snagged when line fishing. But, they also do THIS;

Midwesterners being who we are, we immediately knew what to do; BOWFISH THEM SHITS

And INVENT THE SPORT KNOWN AS ‘SCARPING’, which is just netting them out of the air/smacking them with baseball bats/spearing them with pitchforks/ect while waterskiing;

The DNR actively encourages all inventive ways of killing them off that people can come up with. There’s no limit on them, so you can fill up the boat.