I Defeated the Demon Lord but it Turns Out the Demon Army was Largely Unaffected and I Fell Victim to a Flawed Belief in Great Man Theory

I Executed The Demon Lord With One Flawless Strike And After A Brief Power Struggle The New Demon Government Is Substantially More Committed To The War Because Of Some Reason I Don't Know

I Successfully Overthrew The Demon Lord And Instituted Demon Democracy But They Voted For A Commie So The CIA Not Some Fantasy Equivalent The Actual CIA Who Have Known About Magic And Alternate Realms The Whole Damn Time But Won't Just Unisekai Me Launched A Counter Coup And That's When Things Really Went To Shit

ok we can do petplay but Only if I’m the fly. If that’s ok… rubs my hands together … zzzzzz…. Hope I don’t get swatted…. Zzzzzzzzz

i think we are long overdue for a game that does the reverse of 90s first person shooters and actively makes fun of the player for picking the hard difficulty

fuck, marry, kill: the wound that won’t heal, the past you can’t undo, the ghost that keeps returning

Stephen King’s Fujo

#middle aged dude from maine goes out to the woods to try and cure his writer's block#finds himself booked in the same cabin with another middle aged due from maine trying to cure HIS writer's block#when they try and sort out the error it becomes increasingly evident that something in the woods is stopping them from leaving#a shadow between the trees. a whisper in the darkness. eyes felt but not seen#the cabin has three bedrooms at the start but first one bedroom and then the other just... disappears#the walls start to close in#temperatures begin to drop#as the stress of the situation begins to break down the barriers between the two men the entity in the woods watches#and waits - tag story via @sunderwight

dead wife montage but it's a henchman reminiscing about da boss after he got put six feet under. picking flowers before hiding the bodies, wiping cocaine from your nose after a big night, that long drive down the beach to find the bookie who squealed. where did the days go

i'm your only friend (realizes that's statistically unlikely) i'm not your only friend (considers my positive qualities) but i'm a little glowing friend (suddenly gets cold feet) but really i'm not actually your friend (remembers to be confident in relationships) but i am

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

boss makes a spider i make a slime. that's why i . thas why, tthats why i uhhh. t. thawhy

t.gats why i can't think up an end to the rhyme

GET BACK TO WORK

Just came home from a dinner party with the friendgroup at which several people kept saying "Ask Pedro" or "Pedro will know" and I was terrified that they were referring to an AI like Claude but no, thank fuck, they were referring to a cardboard cutout of Pedro Pascal that someone left upstairs and who has been designated a kind of patron saint status in the household.