Chris Does Things @calvin-reads-problem-sleuth - Tumblr Blog

Y’all need to understand that the more people hype the hell out of Clair Obscur, the less I actually want to play it.

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Noelle referring to the goth outfit she wore in Catti's metal album art as "going grimdark" is hilarious to me because as far as I'm concerned it implies one of two equally amazing possibilities: either Noelle Holiday is canonically familiar with Warhammer 40K, or Noelle Holiday has canonically read Homestuck.

#deltarune #deltarune chapter 4 #deltarune noelle #deltarune catti

whencartoonsruletheworld

in honor of phineas and ferb coming back can you imagine being a disney investor in the early 2000s watching some guys' storyboard pitch and you're like "oh this seems funny and cute but also relatively normal for a children's television show" and then this happens without warning

nourishingbroth

The haunting ancient Celtic carnyx being played for an audience. This is the sound Roman soldiers would have heard their Celtic enemies make.

teaboot

Man if I heard that shit while descending upon a strange land with my brethren I'd straight up dig a hole to die in right the and there, fuck the emperor fuck the gods that's a warning straight from the bones of an older evil and whatever is coming is worse than death

onedirectionforever

“you support gay rights so you must be gay”

i support animal rights do i look like a fucking alpaca to you

onedirectionforever

turns out i am gay

monsieurenjlolras

holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type

mywitchcultblr

Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!

adreamthatsworthkeeping

thebirdkiwi

he was a llama

fritextramole

a llama?! he’s supposed to be dead!

calvin-reads-problem-sleuth

Every turn in this thread was a left

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luntfontanne

every day i think about the cat on twitter who looks more like a scheming eunuch than any creature has ever looked

monkey i love you beloved little freak i would die for you

max1461

ten years of fighting and when shit hits the fan tumblr instantly has reddit’s back. the greatest enemies to lovers story ever told.

max1461

you understand

dropthedemiurge

Oops, my hand slipped–

doggendoodle

humanizations of websites have returned. nature is healing, capitalism is the virus

themythicalcodfish

THE FANART

penny-anna

anyway sound off. at what stage do ppl think Han figured out the Force was real. the boring answer is after seeing Obi-wan vanish but i think he could rationalise that away as his eyes playing tricks on him. what do we think.

my-last-brain-cell-is-socrates

Let me demonstrate my answer for you:

That's it. That's my answer. Endor.

Please just take a look at Han's face right after witnessing 3po float. The man just had his entire worldview blown to smithereens.

whetstonefires

that's so funny. that means he accepted Vader deflecting a blaster bolt with his hand as just something freaky government cyborgs can do, and stuck by Luke for multiple years as he tried to figure this Force stuff out, and just treated it like your friend getting really really into neopaganism to cope with a loss.

like yeah kid good job with the witching. i'm certain it will be more useful against your enemies than your sharpshooting. no i do not think your witchcraft is supplementing your aim but i'm not gonna argue about it.

penny-anna

yeah Luke was like 'I heard Ben Kenobi's voice in my head telling me how to blow up the Death Star :)' and Han was like 'kind of an unusual coping mechanism but I'm not gonna argue with him'

davetheshady

thanks to carbonite han not only misses learning about luke's training montage on dagobah, he's also half-blind during their whole escape on tatooine. luke's out there force-kicking henchmen with his gucci boots and doing flips and shit and han can't see a goddamn thing. now on endor luke's yeeting threepio with the power of his mind and han's just like 'the last time we hung out i had to stuff him in a tauntaun sleeping bag'.

bogwitch-extraordinaire

@softness-and-shattering I hate you I hate you I hate you

allthingswhumpyandangsty

tobiasdrake

My favorite detail about Jurassic Park is that it has a baked-in justification for any and all retcons it might need to make due to paleontology advancing forwards.

Because there is not a single dinosaur that has ever appeared in Jurassic Park.

Not one. Not in the books. Not in the movies. Not ever.

"Now what John Hammond and InGen did at Jurassic Park was to create genetically engineered theme park monsters." ~Alan Grant

Grant says that in a moment of cynicism. It's part of his arc for the film. But it's not inaccurate. What Jurassic Park has, what it's always had since the very first novel, are "Mostly Dinosaurs".

"And since the DNA is so old, it's full of holes! Now, that's where our geneticists take over!" ~Mr. DNA

It's impossible to recover a fully intact gene sequence from an ancient amber mosquito. Cloning a pure dinosaur would have been completely impossible, and so the park filled in the gene sequence with whatever works. Frog. Lizard. Bird. Whatever they need to get the result they are trying to get.

Every single dinosaur is a chimeric beast made up of mostly dinosaur and a bunch of other stuff that some scientists thought would achieve the appropriate dinosaur-like result.

"Nothing in Jurassic World is natural! We have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different." ~Dr. Henry Wu

Which, from a writing perspective, is fucking genius. Because now you have a preset excuse for each and every plot hole your movie has.

Like. Why don't the raptors have feathers? Because of the chimera DNA.

Why do dilophosaurs spit venom? Because of the chimera DNA.

Why do T-Rexes have movement based vision? Oh, they don't. But Rexy does. Because of her chimera DNA.

Why is the Spinosaurus so fucking big? Because of the chimera DNA.

Why are the velociraptors mislabeled? Because Hammond's a dipshit.

Like. I've always marveled at the way Jurassic Park started out by giving itself a blanket excuse to be wrong about every single thing it ever said about the central attraction of its franchise. It's honestly beautiful, and allows the series a degree of immortality well into the era where we know better about its animals.

fanfic-obsessed

I think it helped that they, for the movies at least, got dinosaur experts to help advise but I think I remember reading that those advisers viciously disagreed on the concept of 'dinosaur' and every facet of the design.

So someone got to watch a bunch of academics tear into each other about their dinosaur movie and decided that it was a ready made plot point instead of a ready made plot hole.

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ad-mira-tion

i was checking out who was on my blog and

whY

ARE YOU

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN

ad-mira-tion

i have been informed that this is hawaii

lightspeedsound

This is the exact same response that the intergalactic counsel had in Lilo and Stitch and I think that is beautiful

https-graces

Japanese legend: you have the face of who you loved most in a past life

loveable-korrasami

THE NEXT AVATAR ABOUT TO LOOK FINE AFFFFFF

cupofsorrows

Oh, so YOU guys can just see a face and be like “I like that face, I’m gonna make it my face” and everyone’s just COOL with that. But when I, Koh the Face Stealer,

wiigiwaamcore

“The original orgies and bizarre sex were perfectly sufficient” I am always saying this

wiigiwaamcore

Oh this is also extremely me

draconym

Going to a seder at a family friend's place tonight and I have been informed multiple times that someone there has changed her name to Stephanie, but because it seems nobody wants to deadname her, nobody has specified who Stephanie is. So I guess I'm just going to get a surprise Stephanie when I arrive.

draconym

I am among the first people to arrive which means I get to play a fun process of elimination game. It is not the family's youngest child so I think that leaves two more. Unless Stephanie is an aunt or a niece or something.

draconym

Have learned that Stephanie is the eldest child. Which is very convenient for me because she is the one family member whose name I could not remember anyway.

draconym

bubblesthecow

Watching Star Wars in chronological order is so funny.

Obi-Wan Kenobi really took one look at R2D2 in the middle of the desert and said “No, Luke, I’ve never seen this fucking droid in my life. Looks like a real bitch though. Not that I’d know. This is my first time meeting the asshole.”

No one in that whole franchise was Gatekeep-Gasslight-Girlbossing quite like “Ben” Kenobi, regular human-man.

gamma-3

Bish you cannot leave all this glorious commentary in the freakin tags

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