DERV INLET

Our glorious culture was built on the dream that you can achieve success for yourself, even with what is clearly a thick, Jello-like layer of classist/sexist/racist/ableist/homophobic horseshit covering everything. Only our books can cut through all that disgusting pudding-esque substrate, and never not paying us money will help you become rich as we become rich.

Now, I know a lot of you commies out there don't believe that a single person can get a great idea, start a new business, and become turbo-rich. I'm here to tell you that it's absolutely possible, if your dad is turbo-rich. No dad, or just a poor one, which might as well be the same thing? Then you need my books.

Inside my books, we'll tell you the secrets to getting rich. Hard work, gumption, networking, and the precise movement pattern of the security guard for the bank near your house. It's not free for us to research this, you know, with high-powered night-vision binoculars and a team of potentially ex-con-but-who-wants-to-be-a-narc security experts.

Imagine for a second you are Adrian surname The Eridian. Your spouse has been missing and presumed dead for around a decade, and suddenly one day an alien spaceship comes into orbit. And you cheer "Yay alien species have realized we have the same problem and have come to either give us a solution or join or efforts, too bad my mate is still gone."

Except he is not actually gone, because the eridian equivalent of a carebear decided to save them. And he doesn't want anything in return, in fact he is well aware that he might die A PAINFUL SLOW DEATH, shortly after fighting just to get the love of your life back to you. But it's ok :) because Rocky (yes he gave them a silly name) is my best friend! Oh- Are you ok-

And here is the resulting image. There is at least Someone in the U.K. government who is actually doing their job, and it is Chief Mouser to the Cabinet, Larry the Cat.