why would anybody think that

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@shacklesburst
why would anybody think that

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地震、どっきりしましたね。こちらは揺れがおさまったあともドキドキするコジロー。
she (peaches) watches me cook

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i love how weird kids are. they make up the most bizarre stuff when left to their own devices and it's never what an adult would naively predict a kid would do in their imaginative play
my friend's 5 year old recently got a toy veterinary medicine set - it's super cool, like one of those mini play kitchens a lot of kids have, but it's set up to pretend to be a vet (it's this thing) - it has stuffed animals and things to weigh them, give them medicine, take x-rays, write on their charts, etc.
so this kid, who is five and to my knowledge has no experience in the administrative bureaucracy of modern healthcare, puts a stuffed pig named Piggy on the exam table. she pretends to draw blood from Piggy using a fake syringe, and the blood goes into a toy test tube vial that she calls "the resulter"
i'm playing with her, right, so i'm like, awesome, what are the results of Piggy's blood test? and she says "we have to send it to the scientists." so we send the vial to the scientists (put it in her bedroom) and when we get back to the vet playset i'm like awesome what did the scientists say? and she says they have not gotten back to us yet
so she rolls her eyes, exasperated, and says we have to call the scientists. she pretends to call them. apparently, they tell her that Piggy's blood test is "at the bottom of the list" and "we have to WAIT." she frowns. we wait a bit longer and call them back. they tell us it will be a while! she says we should go ask the scientists in person so we go back to her bedroom and she inquires at this imaginary lab, at which point the scientists yell at her and tell her now they will make us wait even longer!
keep in mind she is 100% directing this play. she is making all this up. she is fully in control of this game, and she has decided that what we are going to pretend is that we are dealing with this exhausting nonsense, not actually treating Piggy.
finally the blood tests come back. they are inconclusive. the scientists do not know what is wrong with Piggy. the little girl walks back to the stuffed pig on the exam table, sighs deeply, and says in a very serious voice "we can never help you."
i'm obsessed with this kid. when given complete control over a make believe scenario, instead of becoming the heroic rescuer administering effective cures, she is instead a beleaguered vet making multiple calls to an overworked lab only to be left unable to help her patient.
10/10 no notes. kids are amazing
I used to watch a toddler and this one time she decided that my arm stretched across a doorway was a magic portal to other lands. My arm was a boom gate type of thing that had to raise up to let her go through the portal. I was like, cool, we're gonna go on adventures in some imaginary world full of stuff she likes.
Nope, she spent an hour troubleshooting and repairing the gate, which was broken in multiple ways. We never activated it.
We should invent more horse-vegetables, we invented the horseradish once but then we sealed away the ancient magics because we were terribly afraid of their foreboding power....I think this will be the century of horse-vegetables, by 2030 we should have at the very least a stable isotope of horsetomato and maybe some theoretical insight into horselettuce
@caesarsaladinn
I didn't ask if it made sense to keep going. I said I'm going to kick your twisted evil ass.

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this video has been the last hinge holding me together for weeks now. I need to watch it once a day or I'll start disintegrating
heres the translation I found online for fellow enjoyers
@demegods
i often have this thought as well
a girl doing absolute numbers in there
Van Gogh’s “Starry night” and “Great peacock moth”, kimono and obi printed by Gofukuya
had a little mycroft canner moment where i spontaneously signed up to volunteer with some local event where i woke up at 4:30am (!!!) to display a bunch of medals & to clean, instead of finishing up my thesis (deadline today). was scared that someone who knew me would see me and drag me to the library

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There's a new mural in Szczecin
You forgot to add the best thing about it
*goes to slovenia* *strolls around lake bled* *theres skateboarders* hmm this makes me think of elephants that use giant oiled seed pods as a means of locomotion