I will never write anything this great in my life.

you’re laughing. olive oyl fainted after hearing the sad news that popeye has “bonkus of the konkus” and you’re laughing.

lets get sillay

babushka off her shits lets gooooo

Tumblr culture is not knowing if this is from 2008 or earlier this week.

Toddler accidentally cursed himself into an identity crisis today.

He’s been crossing stuff out with chalk. He asked me to write his name for him, crossed it out, and had a panicked meltdown because he thought it meant he didn’t exist any more.

Every hour or so he asks me “am I [his name?]” and wants reassuring hugs.

I’m enjoying the implication that he was perfectly delighted with arbitrarily erasing things from existence until it affected him personally

That’s just how toddlers are.

there is literally so much drama happening inside of a lava lamp

Yeah I’ll reblog that

This might be the worst offer I've ever received but it would take all of my strength to not accept.

werewolf boyfriend simulator

you will not see the gates of heaven

we are going to have to bring back “smex”

shrex

I will design 200 catchy and professional pinterest pins only for $5. https://www.fiverr.com/share/VNk0Vz

caramel frappe give me the strength to clean my room

oh i love this

There is no way this is a porno

This is the best porno there has ever been.

The way he says “HEY WHAT THE FUCK” shaped me as a person

reblog to tranquilize the person you reblogged this from

dont care didnt ask plus your wizard cap is cheaply made whilst mine is a fine silk

If you tell a white person Abe Lincoln was racist they’ll act like you just tried to kill them and it’s weird.

The Lincoln Douglas Debates are online, free for all to read (the 4th debate at Charleston, Illinois on September 18, 1858 is of particular interest, as is the first debate at Ottawa on August 21, 1858)  But they clutch pearls when you say that Honest Abe really didn’t see it for Black people and that emancipation was a political move. 

i wouldve fallen in love right then & there ngl