i‘m the one that you love & the one who loves you

and even before that he’s constantly checking if his baby is okay and he’s sitting in that stairwell cuddling ilya’s jacket and he’s so desperate to hold ilya’s hand when he’s off his head on painkillers. he’s rereading old texts. he’s got his phone in his hand and he’s texting ilya when he’s literally just got off the ice after winning the cup again and that’s years before they’re even together. he’s inviting ilya to the cottage because he gets two weeks off a year and he wants to spend them both with his favourite person

this is such a beautiful question thank you so much for coming to me with this 🙏 I think most of their fights are like Ilya needling and Shane going, "Do you ever the fuck up?" and then they don't talk for 10 minutes to 2 hours and come back and give half-hearted apologies that are mostly more because they are embarrassed than actually because they're actually sorry, but here are my top five actual blow up fights not in any actual order:

Ilya is telling Shane about how he used to skip school on his mama's bad days where she wouldn't be able to get out of bed and make her tea and Shane makes a face and says, "You shouldn't have had to take care of her. You were just a kid."

When Shane finds out Ilya let him win at rummy one time (because he didn't want to play the stupid card game, Hollander) and it deteriorates into yelling about if he let him win here, where the fuck else did he let him win?

Reoccurring blow up fights about Ilya going on medication that usually something like "I don't want to rely on pills for the rest of my life, Shane." "Well its that or I fucking uninstall the locks on the bathroom, Ilya!". These get especially worse after Svetlana visits and lets slip the one time Ilya did swallow a bunch of pills and she had to break down the bathroom door and stick her fingers down his throat when they were 15.

They are already having a fight about something (Shane scheduling a sponsorship meeting on a day off, Ilya telling the Centaurs that he can't go out because Shane won't let him, if Shane is being too hard on Haas, etc.) and Ilya goes, "Why don't you just get on your knees, Hollander?" and Shane is immediately madder than he's ever been in his entire life.

Because,,, from Shane's POV: you LOVED being captain. Specifically, you loved being Montreal's captain. You were respected and revered and you had a place on your team, a strictly defined role, and we all know how much you love strict rules. In the hieracichal system of hockey, you were at the top and goddammit you EARNED that place at the top - it is irrefutable evidence of your work and talent. And now, you've just had to leave your beloved team essentially in disgrace and you have to join a new team where you're not sure where you fit, but it's not going to be at the top. And no matter how much you love the man who's now calling the shots, it's gotta sting to be demoted like that.

As for Ilya's POV: Being captain of the Centaurs was the one thing that gave you even the shakiest sense of purpose in the malaise of change and newness of leaving behind everything you knew in Boston. And goddammit you feel a righteous sense of ownership over this team that's finally excelling, becoming a real franchise competitor, and yes there were a lot of contributing factors but one of those contributions was YOU. You love being captain, getting to control your room. And it does feel like YOUR room now. That sense of belonging, that's not something you're willing to give up, it's something you worked for. And, in a smaller, pettier way, haven't you given up enough by now? You deserve to keep this.

LIKE ‼️‼️ THAT'S FASCINATING!!!! And don't get me STARTED on how this friction in the locker room is probably gonna trickle down in some capacity to hollanovs sex life,,, Shane's genuine desire to submit to Ilya sexually is gonna have a tough time rubbing up against Shane's internalised homophobia,,, because when Shane was captain of the metros, him and Ilya were equals and competitors,,, their even footing soothed Shane's perception of himself and his sense of masculinity even when he was subbing for Ilya,,, now that he's Ilya's 'subordinate' in their work life too, I think there's gonna be an instinctive defensive posturing flare up on Shane's side that's probably gonna lead to even MORE friction in the locker room because subconsciously, Shane feels like he has to make up for the sin of submitting to and enjoying Ilya's control over their sex life, and that's gonna manifest as him bucking control in their professional lives

As for Ilya, his already ingrained need for control that makes him such an adept dom is really gonna struggle in the face of Shane's strange sudden defiance in their professional lives, which is probably gonna make him instinctively tighten his grip on the reins, which is just gonna make Shane's bridling worse. And the cycle will continue until they have a blow up fight about it.

Ilya smiled at the understatement.

"We couldn't be prouder of the man he's become,' David continued. "I don't have any Stanley Cup rings, but I have Shane.''

Chapter 39, The Long Game

....

It's Christmas of 1988.

There's one more present under the tree, and Yuna's eyes are dancing as she hands it to David. He opens it to find the tiniest pair of shoes he's ever seen.

"No. Really?" He's dizzy.

"Really," Yuna grins, and her eyes are shining with tears, and David loves that face more than anything. He hopes their baby looks just like her.

.....

It's a bitterly cold day in February of 1989 when David puts the shoes away. He pushes down all the anger of it's not fair, why us, why our baby. Yuna needs him.

The doctor had said you're young, you can try again.

various dentists

hotel housekeeping staff

the kid who works late shifts at the drugstore where Ilya buys condoms (often) and lube (less often)

cleaners and laundry service employees

a kid on vacation with his parents in Vegas bored out of his mind because he's 14 and not allowed in the bars or casinos at their hotel and he's really hitting the grumpy teenager phase so he's pissed at his parents because he wanted to go birdwatching in the desert and instead he's on the hotel roof at night pointing his sick-ass binoculars (which he bought himself with money he earned by mowing their neighbours' lawns for a year) at the surrounding buildings and oh look there's two people making out on that rooftop terrace—wait, isn't that the guy from the Rolex ads?

Janice at the grocery store closest to the Hollander cottages who knows damn well that "David's boy" doesn't eat Nutella

the Voyageurs' nutritionist knows Hollander is fucking someone working for the Bears because he might not log it as sex but even Hollander doesn't actually do extra cardio after a game

employee at an airport phone repair kiosk in Chicago who was checking Ilya’s battery specs when "Jane" texted him "If I win you suck my dick first"

one of the parents at Game Changers Hockey Camp who is a couple's counsellor and a bit too good at her job

Gerry (78) three doors down from the Hollanders who has lived in his house since he was born and has made it his solemn duty to know everything that goes on in his neighbourhood

the owner of the bespoke jeweller's shop once Shane Hollander purchases the second ring, which is identical to the first, and a plain gold chain