a thing about me is that I love a cash purchase
i could scan this sign's QR code to go to a website to search for this park to buy a pass, which will require making an account and creating a two-factor authentication method and entering my payment details via credit card by typing on a little phone standing in the hot sun with poor cell service that makes it load slower OR: I could bop into the visitor center and give the clerk a $20 and get two fives and three ones in change which she says is "probably enough for two ice creams, but I don't know, I haven't gotten ice cream that recently."
i could scan a DIFFERENT QR code to download an app to pay for xyz after which I will delete the account and delete the app and somehow not have unsubscribed from some email list which will torment me with an email about a survey wherein I am to rate my fee-paying experience. Or I could pop a fiver into an autoteller machine and live the rest of my life free of these chains.
i got a plate of tofu rancheros tacos plus an order of hash browns and a cinnamon latte for an even twenty dollars yesterday from a place that prices their menu with tax included. one singular bill over the counter and a fiver in the tip jar. this is fast and beautiful. this is peak performance.
then there's purchases that are like okay fine. make an account. do the captcha. click this link to verify your email. verify your phone number. nope that was the previous code sent. new two factor authentication. enter your billing address shipping address the address of the hospital you were born at and your third favorite bus stop. enter your credit card info. oh that's a credit union card and we can't verify it. oh our special software that puts spaces in the card number keeps lagging and numbers get flipped around. you lost cell service and the page unloaded so please type all that information again. you lost cell service again so this time we shot your dog. sorry! ok that card got flagged by your bank as an uncharacteristic purchase. how about using our pay-in-four-installments partner? how about using paypal? how about making an account that connects directly with your bank account? how about making an account wired directly into your brains? how about we just have our intern Kevin come sit in your house and leer at you in your bedroom as he stuffs his pockets full of valuables and jewelry? you can't get rid of him. he lives there now. he lives in your closet and watches you sleep and once monthly mails $xxx back to silicon valley to pay for your yzx. if you kill Kevin it's both a murder-style crime and a financial one. but even Kevin can't see what you do with cold hard cash outside the home















