may your heart be your guiding key

the vivid sensory-memory of sucking water out of a washcloth as a child

Under communism, Tuxedo Cats will be renamed to Elegant Gothic Lolita Dress Cats.

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

im angry at myself for walking into that so perfectly

OK! ♥️

i love reading gacha game reviews like yeah the devs are super generous with the currency they just made up

I just felt someone Z-target me

[clearly circle-strafing you] don't be ridiculous

what a privilege it is to come home to a little animal that loves you like you're their whole world.

@warrior-of-fight-or-flight

Duuuuuude its so cool how you made ur car go 2 mph faster and sound like it was taking a shit... I bet it was pretty expensive, to make your car sound like it was poopshitting and farting whenever you accelerate slightly. Thats so cool.

Imagine being the gays at a pride event in 2004 living their lives when someone grabs the microphone and announces to the room that Ronald Reagan was pronounced dead. Can you even imagine the hype, the celebration, the pure elation

This is the Pride Month that It will happen. I feel it in my gay bones

line his shit up

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"