may your heart be your guiding key

line his shit up

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

I loooooove getting rejected. People should reject more. It's the "maybes" and ghosting that's just like too much. A firm but polite "no" is infinitely more respectful of everyone's time and feelings. Can we just do that?

You guys know this is a pretty normal human want and not a special accomdation to be saved for people with autism right?

Baby shoes for sale theylook gay

Take my hand Let’s lower the birth rate together

if you're calling a recipe a "one pot" recipe, I better not find in there that you want me to remove something from the pot and put it aside. you think I'm letting that slide on a technicality? know your audience

i fuck no bitches and i get no money. this is my story.

just found out I'm going to be reincarnated into a single sprig of grain. barley apparently. Not cool man. I didn't even know plants was an option on the table. this is bullshit

Hey all, while we're busy normalizing women with hairy legs, hairy armpits and bushy pubes, let's also normalize women with hairy upper lips, hairy chins, hairy side burns, hairy chests, and all the other places where women are supposedly magically hair-free.