1-800-yaslappin?

For the first time in my tenure on tumblr, it's "THAT'S A PHOTOGRAPH?" and not "THAT'S AN OIL PAINTING?"

hey i felt you right click me just now. are you seriously viewing my properties? pervert

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

Remember when you could look things up online. Do you remember how we used to search

accidentally running over a vampire with my car because they didnt show up on the backup camera

here's a trick for getting this stain out. did you know you can make that dish in batches and it freezes great? that's actually really easy to fix, you only need a screwdriver and a replacement hinge. I can show you if you want. I can't buy you a new one, but maybe this will help. maybe the info will serve you one day. most people don't realize you can ask for a discount on those types of purchases, did you know? here's how I would try. maybe this will save you a little money. I don't have anything else to offer you. I hope it's enough. it's not much, but this'll balance the flavor and make cheap taste fantastic, it's crazy right? I wish I had more to give you. I've heard of that before, here's what someone I know tried. maybe that'll save you some time and worry. you can buy that part and do it yourself, let me take a look. here's what I would do. let's give it a shot. it's ugly, but it works. I hope that fixes it. I hope I made things easier for you.

can you hear the "I love you" between every sentence? if you listen closely, it's repeating over and over and over, every time you keep trying, owing your life a thousand times over to the ones who came before, to the ones surviving alongside you. keep trying, I love you, I hope this helps, I love you, we'll find a way, i love you. in the heartbeats of silence, I love you. there's nothing else I can give you, I love you. this is all I have. I love you.

this post is dedicated to my dad btw. many dads suck but he was awesome, and if your dad sucks then he would've basically adopted you without hesitation as he did with multiple children, but he can't do that anymore. so I'm adopting you now. everyone say hi Dad

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point