I think the thing that I would like most to communicate to the people who are still in the "well I have no legitimate reasons to be fucked up, I wasn't actually abused, I was a bad kid" stage is that there's not a mythological category of person who was child abused who never felt the exact way you are feeling right now. there is not a secret type of child abuse that results in the abused individual NOT developing nine hundred self-loathing psychological complexes to justify why it was actually ok or understandable that they were treated that way.
By placing people like me, who have come to terms with being able to articulate the impact our abusive upbringings had on us, on this pedestal that you could never ever have access to, you're actually also hurting us. because you're refusing to understand that when you fight with us about "deserving it" or it having been "not that bad" you're making us relive the stage of our lives where we also thought that.
this is not to say "never talk to someone with a childhood abuse history about the complexities of your own upbringing when you haven't yet come to terms with its impact on you," but it is to say "please stop thinking your case is Special and Unique." that's literally how they get you. that's literally what EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO ABUSES A CHILD THINKS AND MAKES THE CHILD THINK." you thinking and expressing this is not a mark in the "probably wasn't child abused" column. it's a hallmark of HAVING BEEN CHILD ABUSED
