Today's Document
Xuebing Du
oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Love Begins
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Product Placement
Not today Justin
titsay
⁂
Kaledo Art
Game of Thrones Daily
d e v o n
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Misplaced Lens Cap
if i look back, i am lost
seen from Chile
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Sweden
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Lithuania
seen from Malaysia
seen from Sweden
seen from Canada
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Sweden
@viktorbot
her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily
to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it
all of our trobles seem so small from up here
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I used to be monotheistic. Until the great worm that I worship got cut in half
The best magicians don't reveal their tricks.
possible career paths for me:
1. matching pearls in pairs for earrings
2. msn butterfly
that's it probably
unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!
(warning: loud chirping throughout)
source: hellgate osprey cam
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so this knight came to my wizard's tower one day and asked me to cast a spell that would allow him to take his beloved princess' hand in marriage. pretty typical this kind of wish, and i had just the spell. a combo of "turn person into a royal" and "transform appearance to match romantic ideal", easy. he paid handsomely for it too, so how can i says no?
turns out his princess is a lesbian and nobody knew, so when i cast the spell it made him into a beautiful princess. she asked for a refund right away and begged me (cryin', held me at swordpoint) to turn her back, but i says to her, i says, "The die has already been cast, and your fate is now sealed!" which is my way of sayin' "no refunds".
turns out, bein' a princess weren't so bad for her and she was able to take her sweet and beloved princess' hand in marriage. seems like everything worked out.
but then, surprise of my life, they both show up to my tower and my spell was undone. some dark sorcerer shithead (some kinda sketchy royal adviser who wanted to usurp the throne, a million like 'im) had removed my enchantments and turned our princess back into a knight. but she didn't want to be a man no more and asked me to redo the spell. gladly i changed her back in exchange for fuckin' up this sorcerer shmuck, (could be a threat to my business, you see) gave 'er an enchanted sword an everything. to my shock, the other princess takes the sword and vows to get this guy for me.
now i got all this guy's magic shit and good graces for life with the queens of the land, plus the best advertisement money can't buy. "yes, i am in fact That wizard from the story of the princess knight!" classic.
anyway, all that to say, no i ain't changin' yous back. you'll be mommy's pretty little maid and you'll like it.
i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.
I suppose this exposes my ignorance and inexperience. I suggest we normalize the use of the penis vice so that we can curve and straighten cocks to our own unique tastes. They can be 3D printed with an aposable skeleton so that they can be curved. I have included a mockup down below.
op i regret to inform you that the curve is so inherent that it persists even when you flip it inside out, turn it into a vagina, and stick a ramrod straight dilator into it for 30 minutes 4 times per day for several months.
(they don't usually give you an MRI 4 months after bottom surgery, i just happened to need one for unrelated reasons)
girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!
smiles serenely
maid day is upon us once again
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revenant, my beloved :)
got hit so hard by dts on night two i literally died. no revive bar no nothing. just a you died screen and then a fade to black.
wtf.png and hiding.png
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Undertaker from nightreign <3
Ko-fi / Bluesky
