AuDHD goblin looking for (de)growth

I love him and it hurts to see him in a house filled completely to the brim with not just his own stuff, but also (mostly, really) the items his parents left him when they passed. Which is literally everything they had; he has furniture, cookware, clothing, paintings, knick-knacks, absolutely everything. And a lot of it he doesn't use, and is only in the way, blocking his life. It's heartbreaking.

He said something about two chairs in the attic. How he wished his mum would have let them go when she was still alive. Because now they're nostalgia and he can't let them go anymore. These chairs serve him absolutely no purpose, they are in the way and gather dust.

I wish he would realise that a) his mother would have wanted him to only keep what he loves and uses and b) sometimes, the best way to honor items and people, is by giving them a new home where they will actually be used.

But he doesn't do any upkeep for the place. It is kinda dirty, very dusty and since he can't toss anything, he even kept the dirty towels his mother touched before she died, for way too long.

Add to that his own stuff, his collections (of actual items like superhero merchandise, but also of uhm, items most of us would throw away without a second thought) and other personal items. They're sometimes literally stacked upon my grandparents' things. The living room is full of boxes, filled with food items, projects, papers and more. He put a "temporary" shelving unit in the middle of the room and it just holds more food. It's also been there for several years now. He would have room for the food if he made room. But he can't.

And it really is depressing being here.

Honestly, he's not honoring my grandmother in this way at all. Yes, he kept everything she had, but she would never have let it get as dusty as he has, she would always tidy up well, and she would not want to burden anyone with things they couldn't use.

I want him to open his mind and accept help. He doesn't have to toss anything (for now), but I would love for him to take control of the stuff. To organise it in a way that works for his life, not just the items.

I did try to talk about how I've been decluttering, when he mentioned that I'm just like him (when we made space on the attic for us to put a matress for me to stay the night). I kinda am like him! Which is even more of a reason I'm focusing on buying less and decluttering more. And organisation and cleaning.

It was nice. Of course I couldn't do any deep cleaning with all the stuff being in the way, but I did my best removing dust from the stairs, floors, the tv and console, some small tables and the furniture. I did some vacuuming upstairs as well.

I love him and it hurts to see him in a house filled completely to the brim with not just his own stuff, but also (mostly, really) the items his parents left him when they passed. Which is literally everything they had; he has furniture, cookware, clothing, paintings, knick-knacks, absolutely everything. And a lot of it he doesn't use, and is only in the way, blocking his life. It's heartbreaking.

He said something about two chairs in the attic. How he wished his mum would have let them go when she was still alive. Because now they're nostalgia and he can't let them go anymore. These chairs serve him absolutely no purpose, they are in the way and gather dust.

I wish he would realise that a) his mother would have wanted him to only keep what he loves and uses and b) sometimes, the best way to honor items and people, is by giving them a new home where they will actually be used.

But he doesn't do any upkeep for the place. It is kinda dirty, very dusty and since he can't toss anything, he even kept the dirty towels his mother touched before she died, for way too long.

Add to that his own stuff, his collections (of actual items like superhero merchandise, but also of uhm, items most of us would throw away without a second thought) and other personal items. They're sometimes literally stacked upon my grandparents' things. The living room is full of boxes, filled with food items, projects, papers and more. He put a "temporary" shelving unit in the middle of the room and it just holds more food. It's also been there for several years now. He would have room for the food if he made room. But he can't.

And it really is depressing being here.

Honestly, he's not honoring my grandmother in this way at all. Yes, he kept everything she had, but she would never have let it get as dusty as he has, she would always tidy up well, and she would not want to burden anyone with things they couldn't use.

I want him to open his mind and accept help. He doesn't have to toss anything (for now), but I would love for him to take control of the stuff. To organise it in a way that works for his life, not just the items.

I did try to talk about how I've been decluttering, when he mentioned that I'm just like him (when we made space on the attic for us to put a matress for me to stay the night). I kinda am like him! Which is even more of a reason I'm focusing on buying less and decluttering more. And organisation and cleaning.

Source:

there's something else in their future place that needs to be moved/taken care of, too

you still haven't found a good display case for your item

Also: due to some items being all over the place you cannot declutter them yet, as they are not in one place and you need to see what you have before deciding what to keep and what to let go

And there's a pile of boxes taking up room, but you will need these to ship several things, so you cannot discard them yet.

I went out pretty early to check out the "vrijmarkt" - on King's Day everyone is allowed to sell their stuff on the street. It's my favourite tradition and I always find something nice.

This year I got

- A book I wanted

- Witch hat atelier manga (first volume) for just €2

- Board game I'd been wanting to try

- A completely unused bag for toiletry items - I already have this one and have had it for about 16 years now, bur it's starting to look bad. Perfect one to one replacement! And these only got made once, so a super cool and pretty old find!

- Crocheted goblin stuffed toy! Very cute. Unfortunately it's got a little rattle in there lol, only found out about it later. The goblin has a little shoulder bag, so cute

- Cool cat drawing/painting a kid made. They had a bunch of different ones and this one really spoke to me. It doesn't fit my house's colours tho, so I'll havw to find a way to make it work

- Animatrix DVD for just €2

- Earrings with Sanrio characters on em

- Dice game

- Free notebook with Widowmaker on it

- Plush cube rabbit and two little wallets, not for me personally

- Free blue baret

I also got two tops: this cool retro looking tee with Rey on it (I love her hair in side profile, so it's just perfect) and a black cotton top with cute sleeves. It's 100% cotton - great for summer. The tee cost €2.5 and was brand new, the crop top was free.

These were aaaall free! Except the mirror

- DVDs (copies, but three movies in one box!)

- Reusable reward books that use stickers. I found five which were going to be trashed and I am giving away the ones I'm not going to use.

- Stickers

- Tiny notebook on a loop

- DVD, earrings, plush bull - all not for me

Found this top for free, and I thought I could replace another top with it:

But actually, they're nothing alike! They have such a different vibe to them - the one with the buttons and puffed sleeves is kinda ren-faire while the other is more sleek and modern. So for now I'm definitely keeping both...

I took these photos on 9th of April. This surface and the pens I collected in a lid bothered me a lot, despite not being in my immediate line of sight.

Between 9th and 17th of April I tackled this!

I still need to

move several biros to my backpacks and to my desk

find a replacement for my broken fountain pens

divide the hard from the soft pencils

glue the magnet onto the whiteboard pen box

maybe find a box for the erasers and pencil sharpeners

We have to stop giving into a feeling of powerlessness.  We have to stop leaning on tired excuses like “there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism.”  I know that being alive right is really @#$%ing hard.  I constantly feel as if I’m five seconds away from vomiting or crying.  But nothing will ever get better if we’re just drowning our sorrows in shopping, drinking, or being shitty to strangers on the internet.  Real change happens (and will happen) when we keep showing up. When we recognize that there are more good people in this world than bad people.  When we take a minute to remind ourselves that WE HAVE THE POWER BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE OF US.

Don’t let perfection be the enemy of progress. If you need to buy something from Old Navy or some other fast fashion brand, go for it.  Just take care of it.  Repair it, wash it carefully, wear the heck out of it.  And when you no longer can wear it/want to wear it, give it to another human to wear the heck out of it.  But also: Vote. Show up for your community. Do your best to be good for this world.  Anything is better than nothing. I promise.

As always, Clotheshorse is radically anti-AI, so this post was made entirely by me, Amanda, using my brain, Photoshop, and Figma. I knew I wanted to make something really lovely to honor the people lost in the Rana Plaza collapse, so I started by looking through my filing cabinet drawer of vintage stationery.  And then I thought, what if I make my own stationery?! I started with scans of newsprint paper.  I used a Photoshop action called RSCO (gift from Dustin) to “print” the color on the paper.  Then I cut out scans of flowers from some vintage Golden Regional Guides from 1959.  I put it all together in Figma (my preferred place for writing and editing text). This project took five hours from beginning to end.