#doom piles

“We have worked as a team to remove them and tidy up the space to get ready for next week.”

“Dave’s going to be away at a retreat with Miss. Miller, so we’re all going to have to manage ourselves and also add in some extra chores.”

Wt 247.6

I am still fighting. Coffee and tea at home means I am saving money, which I definitely need.

Experimenting with some meatless meals. Tried some kelp noodles. Not really a fan, but I bought 3 packs so I am pot committed.

I had my lash appointment yesterday.... took myself on a nature walk by the river. Trying to get my step goal accomplished each day. It was a nice mid day break.

After work, called my student loan place. Here my student loans have been deferred since April. I thought I was still making regular payments because I set it up on auto pay and I did not request a deferment.

But now my work has no ot and I am short of money because of my spending. I treated myself to some things on vacation for my birthday. Cosmetics and some new clothes, not realizing my income was going to be abruptly changed.

So.... I need to look at reducing my outflow. I love my current subscriptions tho. What can I cancel that won't hurt? Altogether it is only $100 total. Gym $20, netflix n hulu w HBO $40, pandora $10 (my night music with a sleep timer), YouTube (ad free. Because ads suck). So $80? Is that worth living a life with no joy? Oy.

So.... stop buying shit. No more amazing amazon diet food. No more clothes shopping. Lock it down FFS.

I don't need any more. My closet is full, my pantry is stocked.

Folded laundry while listening to a chapter of my textbook. Made more progress in 1 day on my room than I have in fucking months. Proud of that. Also cleaned the toilet.

Things are still cluttered. Works in progress, all. Working on doing small things during the day.

Am learning about add/adhd habits. Doom piles and boxes, all the shit I have dealt with over a lifetime of not understanding that something I have may be affecting the way I process material things, add to that a scarcity mentality, poverty, low income stuff. Oy. It is alot to learn.

Plus dealing with body loneliness and such a high sex drive. Body shame/dysmorphia.

And I have a paper due this week.

Also helping someone move This weekend.

Also my niece's birthday.

The box is a “later problem” (and has been for a long time), but the clothing has been dealt with.

Three of the piles have grown, two of them with clean clothes that I haven’t put away. At the very least, the wardrobe hasn’t changed - partially because I haven’t opened it. So I guess there’s that.

Today’s challenge is to try to, at minimum, organise these piles into something less chaotic. And put away the clean clothes.

Tidying up, and staying tidy, isn’t easy. If you do fall back into old habits and make a mess, don’t beat yourself up about it - just take a breath, take some time, and do what you’ve done before.