one of the little gay people in your phone

While I love and greatly enjoy all the adorable fics, art and headcanons about Rocky, Adrian and Grace forming a little family unit together... I strongly doubt that Eridians have any real concept of the nuclear family.

The thing is that nuclear families (family units consisting of a married couple and any kids they have) are a relatively modern and largely Western invention; for most of human history and in most parts of the world households have been larger and involved extended family members, tending more towards clans than individual units.

Notably, this is also more common in more collectivist societies- and Eridians are supposed to be even more collectivist in nature than humans are.

Eridians make major decisions by joining together in large groups that form a single consciousness.

They need to watch each other sleep on an irregular timeline, which would be wildly impractical with two people who aren't stuck on a tiny spaceship together, and instead have jobs and obligations outside the home.

They traditionally stored food from hunting in large communal piles.

In the movie Rocky has a family crest that he uses to introduce himself, indicating a major focus on family/clan as a part of identity.

James Ortiz's headcanon about arranged marriage also fits, since those usually happen in societies that view marriage as a union between families, rather than between individuals.

All of this points to Eridians living together in large groups joined by kinship, and potentially friendship as well. They have many adults in the home that all support the family, watch each other sleep, and come together to make important decisions. And this family identity is an important part of how they see themselves and their purpose in the world.

And then there's the issue of Eridian reproduction.

When you put together that Eridians lay five eggs at a time, that they live for centuries, and that egg laying is easier than giving birth, you're looking at one Eridian mating pair having up to five kids at minimum, and dozens at maximum. Maybe in the past it evened out due to child mortality, but assuming they've largely solved that with modernity it's a recipe for massive, unsustainable population growth.

I've seen several fan explanations for this, but for me the simplest is that Eridians just don't put as much emphasis on individual couples having children as humans do. Each family generation is probably quite large, but only a couple kids in that generation will choose to have children of their own, and then those children will be raised by the family, It-Takes-a-Village style.

It's similar to how it was an evolutionary benefit for human families to have single, gay and elderly members: including childless adults increases chances of survival for the children the family does have. And quintuplets have gotta be a lot for one couple to handle, even with Eridian multi-tasking abilities.

If I can get even more out there, considering the collectivist nature of Eridians and the relatively detached method of laying eggs vs. childbirth/nursing, it's entirely possible that Eridians don't actually put that much stock in who a child's biological parents are. There are human societies that historically reckoned kinship similarly, referring to some or all aunts/uncles as parents, and cousins as siblings.

All of which is to say that again, large and tight-knit extended families are very likely the default for most Eridians.

And oh boy, the implications this has for the story!

Imagine Ryland "No close family, no friends, not even a dog" Grace, arriving at Erid to discover that he has not only been adopted by Rocky's mate but by his entire, massive family as well.

Imagine Rocky's relatives, many of whom are likely also engineers, working to maintain Grace's dome. Because that's what you do for family, and any family of Rocky's is one of theirs.

Imagine Rocky and Adrian having a clutch and Grace getting ready to be an uncle only to discover he is 100% considered a parent too.

Imagine this lonely, isolated person having a huge support system for the rest of his life.

I personally have a specific phobia that, when triggered, used to make me spasm and hyperventilate and cry, and it was super embarrassing because I was fully aware that there was nothing really wrong. You can experience the effects of a phobia while objectively knowing you're safe! And STILL I would get people telling me to chill out cause I was fine.

I've gotten better at managing it. I can thing straight and control my breathing and not feel *emotional* fear, but my body still locks up and my heart still goes crazy and I still have to focus on breathing.

When IM experiencing the effects of an irrational fear, imagine putting whatever awful or dangerous or nasty thing disgusts you in your mouth. Imagine experiencing a RATIONAL fear. Because it doesn't matter what I know is true, the effects of rational fear and irrational fear make your body do the same things.

Nausea, locking up, inability to make yourself move, panic, denial, refusal, shaking, disgust, revulsion, anger, fear, outrage, humiliation, vulnerability.

If my phobia is, say, walking past a 2002 Toyota Prius, then making myself do that FEELS just as difficult and horrific to me as licking broken glass off a gas station bathroom floor does to YOU. The only difference is *I* might have to do the thing ANYWAYS, while people make fun of me an I know that I look ridiculous, whereas YOU would at least know that your feelings are normal and your experience will be taken seriously.

But anyhow, today I encountered one of my phobias and was able to react to it calmly and rationally while my brain screamed instead of physically locking up and doing the screaming out loud, so here's to gradual progress

Also, figured out a better analogy over the years:

If Fear is like disgust, think of a Phobia as an allergy

After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.

“I like your shoelaces.”

Oh. Oh no.

I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president…and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”

The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”

Yeah. Me neither. Not until today.

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.