LunAurea

Consort Bilbo, new to the role and a little anxious about filling it. Thrown off when the Mountain starts getting filled with families moving there, and the little dwarf children *idolize* him. 😍

Here is the Hero who saved their new home, who defeated a dragon and so many other enemies. Who is by the side of their King, who helped to stave off their King's dragonsickness.

And he is *small*, their size, perhaps.

And he looks so different than a dwarf, with his bare, hairy feet, his beardless face, his build so unlike a dwarf but somehow more than meets the eye.

And he is nimble, and quiet, and able to *disappear*. He is quick-witted, and clever, and unafraid to speak his mind to all, up to and including the King himself. Yet he is also caring to all, even and especially those usually deemed unimportant. He tells wonderful stories, and listens to others' tales intently. Loves music and good food, and brings a smile to even the most serious of the Company. Especially their King.

No wonder the dwarfling pebbles find Bilbo *fascinating*.

When they first move to Erebor and are greeted by the King and Consort, it is *Bilbo* that the little ones are in awe of, who they whisper about and stare at while hiding behind their parents. When Bilbo approaches, some hide further, some giggle nervously, some rise to meet him with their best rehearsed greeting (which is always met with the correct response, just as Bilbo would with a full grown dwarf). Every time, the little dwarf children leave even more impressed by the Hobbit Hero of Erebor.

Thorin is greatly amused by this, while Bilbo himself is just confused.

When Bilbo walks through Erebor, even when not in the official Consort role, little dwarves try to sneak and follow him. Bilbo makes a show of pretending to not see them, for a little while. Then suddenly, the little dwarves lose him, like he just disappeared out of nowhere.

Until Bilbo turns the tables and surprises *them*. Leading to undignified shrieks that Bilbo would not have expected to be able to come from dwarfkind. Though some are a little miffed at first, to be outsmarted, they are all impressed and overjoyed at their game.

Frustrated, flustered parents ask Bilbo to speak to their children. And tell them that just because hobbits can go without shoes, does not mean little dwarflings can do so safely.

Bonus if these dwarflings, trying to play at being hobbits, attempt to attach fur or grass or something else to the tops of their feet, to even more closely match their hero.

Solemnly, Bilbo tells each child that tries this that he is greatly flattered by how they wish to be like him. But they must listen to their parents, and walk as dwarflings do, not as hobbits. Both peoples their own strengths, he explains, and they must be proud dwarves, as Bilbo is proud of his friends, and of them.

Wide-eyed, the dwarflings obey.

Bilbo overhears a group of children pretending to be the Company on the Quest. And it's the role of the hobbit that the children fight to have, who gets to be the hero of their little game. Real Bilbo watches as the dwarfling-Bilbo pretends to steal keys (real ones their mother hopefully won't miss soon) from the cruel elves, break his companions out of their imprisonment (under a table), and lead them confidently to the barrels they will escape in (empty crates from the market). He stifles laughter as the fake-Company, much more grateful than the real one had been, jostles each other as they make their escape (hopefully much less worse for wear than those they emulate).

At any official large gathering, if it goes on for too long, the Consort slips away from the official dignitaries and boring speeches. But Thorin doesn't worry, for he knows where to find him.

Hidden away in a side room or small corner. Surrounded by dwarf pebbles. Children of servants, dignitaries, anyone in between. If children of Men, Elves, or Hobbits are visiting, they join the gathering, too.

Bilbo holds his own little court. Here, instead of speeches, there are stories, mostly told, dramatically and with embellishments, by Bilbo himself.

(Picture Bilbo's tale to the hobbit children at the beginning of FotR, but with dwarflings instead.)

Thorin listens in from the doorway, fondly, not daring to interrupt. Even if Bilbo does tell things that would be an affront to his honor, from anyone else's mouth.

It's some shit that everyone thinks they can understand based on vibes but science just doesn't work that way. Real scientists have proved time and time again that it doesn't work how people assume. Many medical conditions where it's assumed weight is a "cause", something to blame the patient for, it's often actually a symptom.

Body size is based on so many individual possibilities. genetics, upbringing, wealth, what type of food you eat, what type of work you do, where you live, etc etc etc. it is impossible to control for all of these.

I was a child born to fat, impoverished, labourer parents, and I grew up doing farm labour, gaining muscle - I will never ever be thin. It's just how my body developed. And no matter how much weight I were to hypothetically lose, doctors would still push me to lose more. Family would push me to lose more. Society would push me to lose more. It will never ever ever be enough. You will never be thin enough, there is no bmi low enough to satisfy them, there is no "progress" that won't just make them pity or shame you even more. Your personal circumstances aren't important to a pseudo-scientific practice, the variables don't matter that much, it must be a one-size-fits-all solution.

Every weight loss pill, every low calorie shake or meal replacement, every weight watchers frozen meal, it all contributes to the pseudo-scientific cult of thinness. Every ad that says you're not good enough, it pushes you to drop your critical thinking skills. We have created a world where people think shitting themselves into thinness using potions with untested ingredients is healthier than having some fat on their bodies. But it's not! That's absurd! You're sending your body into a constant state of gastric shock!! And one day, when you get bored of eating tasteless nutrient paste and decide to eat something with some flavour in it, your body will react with a starvation response and store every little bit of fat that it can, because it's so used to being fucking starved. Which sends people into a panic response, buying up more pills and trying to crash-diet and lose their meagre protective layers.

Your body stores fat because that's your reserve energy. Fat is protective. I thank my body every day for storing so much energy for me, fuck knows I need it! That's your blubber!! You are a large mammal. Your body is designed to keep energy in reserve so you can sleep and stay warm and keep your brain alive. You should research the human metabolic process. You should research the cow metabolic process. You should research bear metabolic process. YOU NEED FAT!

And just like so many other pseudosciences, fatphobia and all that it entails is deeply rooted in racism and specifically antiblackness. It is not a mistake that the ozempic-chic era is coinciding with one of the biggest waves of open, globalised white supremacy we've seen in decades. Whiteness needs to perform & police whiteness constantly, maintaining appearances is THE way to stay part of the ingroup.

Author/illustrator Trung Le Nguyen has been live posting reading Pride and Prejudice for the first time on bluesky and just hit the first proposal. The replies are basically the sickos meme