Talkative Platypus

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

dont do this

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

do not do this.

Rip to y'all, but I'm built different. Trying this tonight

Oh that is a... fascinating smell

Don't do this

Alright now I’m curious

Don't do this

World Heritage Post

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

Every year Tumblr holds its sexy people contests. And as a result controversial figures around the world seem to die. I purpose we sacrifice Donald Trump for this years contests.

My hope is tomorrow I wake to the notification of this post rebloged with Apollos dodge ball.

Same

And every summer I get reminded that we have only a single choice if we want to survive

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

would you like to share with the class 🤔

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

would you like to unshare with the class

the thing about art is that sometimes you'll be moved to tears by stuff that is not very good

they dont tell you this but like half of adulthood is just washing the same FUCKING pan

WASHING THE FUCKING PAN AGAIN!!!!!

Your doing so good at increasing your skill stat in pan washing. I'm so proud of you. Best pan washer out there.

this is so nice thank u….

Looks like the thinner twin of my youngest son

A three-circle venn-diagram where the circles are "sex workers", "the furry community", and "people working in morgues". I don't know what the overlap parts are.

Fourth circle needed: IT workers

You say that with such confidence that I am compelled to trust your vision. Personally I have no idea where this is going.

i'd say the overlap between "sex workers" and "people who work in morgues" is probably "seeing naked strangers a lot"

"professional handling of bodies of strangers"?

i support women's wrongs

@creatures-in-posts is this a creature?

They’re all creatures

shout out to the fact that The Cone Of Shame's actual name is the E-Collar. Short for the Elizabethian collar. We've come full circle lads.

“denied the catharsis of punishment” is an underappreciated but hugely effective narrative consequence imo