Prettiest princess in the kingdom

Please take my white ass to anor londo

*grabs you with my long gargoyle-like arms and flies off witj you*

Oh thank god hold me tight you scary motherfucker

Sweat is pouring from underneath my tits. My fucking God. You flat chest jawns are lucky during this heat. I could fill up a jug with my titty sweat.

Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be

i seriously want him to feel like a god when he’s fucking me & pushing my face into the mattress or grabbing a fistful of my hair like you are the king baby do whatever you want

let’s all wear panties and a tank top all day!!!! yay!!!!!

they dont tell you this but like half of adulthood is just washing the same FUCKING pan

WASHING THE FUCKING PAN AGAIN!!!!!

Your doing so good at increasing your skill stat in pan washing. I'm so proud of you. Best pan washer out there.

this is so nice thank u….