Vellum and Bone

Very relevant indeed

I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."

As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.

Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.

A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.

As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"

Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.

You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.

It was not.

It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.

And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.

This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.

After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.

None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.

With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.

Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.

"Phyllis," said he.

The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.

"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"

Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.

Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.

Cellulose nitrate was used to make dice from the late 1860s until the middle of the twentieth century, and the material remains stable for decades. Then, in a flash, they can dramatically decompose. Nitric acid is released in a process called outgassing. The dice cleave, crumble, and then implode.

Don't Flea from the Water Flea!

Daphnia pulex is the most common species of water flea, and perhaps one of the most abundant animals in the world. They are found in nearly every permanant, stagnant body of fresh water, including lakes, ponds, slow-moving streams, and small puddles. They typically reside near the surface of the water, but will occasionally venture deeper into the column, particularly during the day when they are more vulnerable to predators.

Colonies of D. pulex feed on bacteria, phytoplankton fine detritus, and certain types of algae. They are filter feeders, using their feathery front legs to create small currents in the water which draws in food. Due to their small size, D. pulex is vulnerable to many predators including fish, insect larvae, and other water fleas. Populations often undergo cyclomorphosis, a process in which they change size and shape to make it harder for potential predators to feed on them.

Despite being quite abundant, D. pulex is rarely seen, as individuals are usually between 0.2-3.0 mm long. Males are usually smaller than females, and have longer antennae. Although they are crustaceans, it is difficult to distinguish segments of their body, and different populations may have anywhere from 4-6 pairs of legs. The outer shell is largely transparent, exposing the internal organs.

D. pulex typically utilizes either cyclical parthenogenesis to reproduce. In cyclical parthenogenesis, the cycle starts in the winter with females laying eggs which are fertilized by the males. The eggs can remain dormant for up to twenty years, and can resist freezing and drying. After hatching, the young can live up to 100 days without predation. In this second part of their cycle, which occurs during the summer, the emerging population is entirely female, and the eggs they lay can develop into both males and females. Under ideal conditions, populations may consist entirely of parthenogenic females.

Conservation status: D. pulex has not been evaluated by the IUCN. Due to their large range and population they are largely stable, although overharvesting for the aquarium trade may pose a threat to more isolated populations.

Photos

Paul Herbert

Lance Biechele

two or more rapidly-moving "wings"

large eyes

various adaptations to water, carrying loads, etc.

bright colourations indicating danger to potential predators

can hover in one place

full of clear fluid that is needed for it to function