Hanniballs

I took a breath to protest but was distracted by being able to take a breath. I took a few more, without a coughing fit.

"You healed me?"

"Pff. Why would I do that? I stole your cough for my hoard."

a) young children tend to do a lot of copying the behaviors around them, and

b) most of the people hanging around them are taking care of kids (them)

a lot of little kids REALLY want to take care of slightly littler kids. Today a toddler barely over a year old kissed a baby a couple months younger than him, tried to wipe his nose, and tried to feed him a toy apple. A couple kids older than Him then started trying to put him in a toy shopping cart to take him shopping. There's a 3yo who always tries to steal the babies' milk bottles to feed them. A 4yo tried to give a baby his own bottle once. A toddler too young to know any words yet will shush me if any of the little babies are laying down to sleep.

theres also the comedy potential of it. you guys dont know the joy of having your muslim friend text you "hopefully the racists in our city will all get sick and cant go to the protest" and you, as a pasty white guy, responding with "inshallah they get covid"

its a one hit KO every time. its fucking hilarious. theres no english word that has the same effect.

he also once texted me that he got over a mysterious illness he came down with (i think? i cant remember the exact context) and i responded with "subhanallah he is cured"

again, one hit KO. he lost his shit.

disclaimer i am not arab or muslim and i dont speak arabic but @frogofalltime has explained these words to me and says im using them correctly lmao

inshallah - "if god wills it". like an "i hope this happens" kind of thing. remember the finding nemo poster "inshallah they find him" meme if that helps. used in future tense.

mashallah - "god has willed it", used when something good happened. can be used to denote awe about an event or person. used in past tense.

alhamdulillah - essentially "thank god" or "praise be to god". like mashallah and inshallah but stronger, and can be used in any tense (i think). he will be baked soon alhamdullilah

subhanallah - "glory be to god". like alhamdullilah but stronger. used for when something almost miraculous happens!

there's also astaghfirullah which means "i seek forgiveness in god" which you use when you or someone else does something haram (forbidden / sinful / wrong). tbh we use it in a lot of jokey contexts like if someone swears in a conversation you can call them out like "astaghfirullah haram !"

…The last few seconds of this, in which John Cena and Tweety fall into a variant dialect of English never before spoken in dialogue by sapient beings, is to me frankly worth the entire price of admission. 😆

15 years old: i was so cringe when i was twelve, i'm super mature now though. i'm a totally different person. i'm basically an adult

18 years old: i was so. (trying to be nicer to myself) fifteen. when i was fifteen. i wasn't an adult even a little back then. i'm an adult now though of course

21 years old: i was so newborn fawn taking its first steps when i was 18. i wasn't an adult at 18 i'm barely even an adult now tbh

23 years old: i was so. hey wait the others have all gone up in increments of three why'd it change

23 years old: because i'm still 23 so i can't speak to that experience yet

23 years old: do you think anything will magically change in the next few months to the point where you can't possibly imagine how you'll feel at 24

23 years old: i mean you never know. anything can happen. they're letting people born in 2002 turn 24, for instance

summer afternoons together ☀️