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Jules of Nature
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YOU ARE THE REASON
Mike Driver
Not today Justin
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Peter Solarz
we're not kids anymore.
Today's Document
noise dept.
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@geerambles
KICK THE CAN!
Letâs play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.
To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now
And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!
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med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid đ" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times
"Before surgery, your bodyâs reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If thereâs food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. Thatâs called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you
I have four kids. Iâve had one or another of them need some kind of surgical procedure that requires anesthesia four or five times over the past 15 years.
This Tumblr post is the first time someone has explained to me *why* I couldnât feed them before those instances.
Iâm not stupid. I understood that just fine. Hell, my kids would have understood that just fine. But no one bothered to tell us.
i did know this before having kids (i have six). we have a kid that's needed multiple procedures requiring anesthesia. and every single time, i am asked multiple times if i'm sure he was not given any food or water after a certain point.
every single time i have had to say, "i understand that if he had food or water, he could aspirate it into his lungs under anesthesia. i am not lying to you." THEN someone would make a little note and i would stop being repeatedly asked.
not a single time was that risk explained to me. the only reason it came up was because i already knew. i still don't understand why it isn't standard pre-op counseling or pre-op check information, when me as a parent acknowledging the actual risk also put THE MEDICAL STAFF at ease because i conveyed that i had informed understanding as reason to not lie about giving my kid food.
"maybe some people will get nervous and refuse surgery" okay so they need more counseling about risks and anxiety, not less information in a way that actually does endanger their child or themselves!
Reblogging to save a life and teach medical professionals basic communication skills
A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.
-Replacing his vitimens with poision
- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.
- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.
-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?
- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.
-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway
Accurate tags:
#and this is why no-fault divorce brings down the murder rate
Someone mentioned how they were having a hard time creating a world for their fantasy fiction geographically because they kept reinventing the island of Britain, which also happened to my good close enemy George R. R. Martin. I would like to suggest North Carolina. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous but North Carolina has an awesome geographic setup for a fantasy kingdom, I think. Inhospitable barrier islands, constantly shifting shoals in the sound, swamps with alligators, venomous snakes and carnivorous plants, lots of very flat and somewhat sparsely populated farmland, foothills, mines, mountains full of mysterious phenomenon that were originally very difficult to navigate and people still get lost in today. It kind of rocks.
AND VENUS FLYTRAPS ARE NATIVE TO THE CAROLINAS!
There are actually 36 carnivorous plant species native to North Carolina, roughly half of all carnivorous plant species in the United States are found in North Carolina! I added the carnivorous plant detail because thatâs something I love about the state. We have so many fucking bugs that the plants keep evolving to eat them.
I love that giant man eating Venus flytraps are worldbuilding staples in untamed tropical fantasy settings but theyâre actually native to a small region in the Carolinas.
And I agree with the notes, the Chesapeake Bay + Great Dismal Swamp (partially in NC anyway) and the South Carolina Lowcountry would be good geographic additions to this.
Just a perfectly normal life hack video, no need to specifically tag @were--ralph for any particular reason
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Babe wake up, new all time great image just dropped
I made a battle axe out of monster cans
Jaja, this attracts me
Per @spoonstrek
i love that 17th century jewish poltergeist story where the family living in the haunted house calls a catholic priest for help before they contact a rabbi, because yeah, i think that would be my call too; id be like, oh? a demon in my house speaking latin and drawing inverted crosses on my wall in sulfuric bile? then without even questioning my faith iâd call up the catholic church and be like yo father, one of your boys loose come get him
âLook here pal, I know my religion, and this ainât it. Whatever this guy is, theyâre clearly from your version of things. Mind coming over to help fix things up?â
#not my covenant not my malefactor
(Tags via @cicadianrhythm )
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what do I have to do to go to events where people are dressed nicely and there are plates of free cheese cubes
Go to the inaugurations of littlely known artistsâ exhibitions.
We are always begging for people to attend, there actually is the âhackâ to invite your whole family but tell them to pretend they donât know you. People with money are more willing to buy your work if they think many people likes it, so your mere presence eating our cheese and canapes will be a great helps. Please bring whoever you want too.
Donât mind if I do!
I will dress like an eccentric weirdo if that helps.
one time a pal of my pals was having a tough time selling their work in an art exhibit and called us up on the last day, âusâ being about 8 students who were Very hungry and also bored. We put on the nicest/artsiest clothes we had available (one dude had a legit fancy suit and put on some shades which were Bright Pink he looked like a movie star I swear) and rolled up to the show in pairs, separately. Fine Art Pal has some nice paintings! but nobody is really paying attention to them, so after getting some fancy cheese cubes in a manner that did not betray that we were actually a ravenous pack of starving students we casually wander around the show and then, fairly individually, drift to a stop by their work. Some of us even walked away, then came back a bit later âcaptivatedâ by the art (it was actually really nice but recall we were all poor as shit and this was a help hustle). Our groupâs interest naturally caught other folks, and eventually there was a small clump of about 15 people musing over this art, and within ten minutes the biggest piece had been snatched up by a shrewd investor. by the end of the exhibit every single piece was sold. It helped pay off the artistâs student debt and on that success they got into another exhibit! Theyâve been doing well ever since.
So yes, please attend new artist shows, you get free cheese, get to look at nice art, and you can really help out people who deserve more attention.
teeth are the horses of the body
ohhh look at me iâm not bones iâm Special Bones. i need Special Bone Expensive Insurance. sometimes the Special Bone Expensive Doctor just goes âyeah thatâs fucked upâ and you have to pay him anyway. donât brush? gums recede. brush too hard? gums also recede. donât floss? problems. floss? still problems! sometimes iâll just break and die for no reason. lots of them at the kentucky derby
I've reached the point where cynicism is a major turn-off for me. You're not smarter than idealists, and you're not helping.
Funny that the stereotypical cynic is an idealist who aged out of it. In my experience, the reverse is true. I was an extreme cynic as a teenager and then I noticed how profoundly limiting it was, and also that "cynics are cool and smart" was a message that was being constantly reinforced by corporate media for some reason.
#yes! cynicism reads as very juvenile to me#and yes prev often stemming from teen pain
Yeah, like I see black-pilled people on here and my default reaction isn't "oh, these must be world-weary old warriors who've lost their faith in humanity", it's "these people are in their 20s and need a hobby"
I also think that the present era has proven that authoritarian leaders don't actually want a population of wide-eyed idealists, they want a population of jaded assholes who are convinced that everyone is lying, any resistance is either a scam or doomed to failure, and nothing can ever get better.
have some shitty chaotic pride flags ^^
check out the rest of the flags on my profile since tumblr has a 10 image limit lol as well as the fixed versions of a few of these cuz Iâm big dumb
it's that time again, kids
have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.
they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.
their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.
longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years
toxic flesh
has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.
lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion
largest genome of any shark
eats everything including moose and polar bears
ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you
this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard
just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !
Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!
Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir
I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks
Will someone please tell me how it eats a moose or a polar bear??? For the love of god before I have nightmares???
Sometimes animals go in water for swim
Sometimes animals not come out again
Hope this helps <3
Wikipedia cites this for the orca https://books.google.com/books?id=Rjksm-5-ap4C&pg=PA23.
And says this about the shark âGreenland sharks have also been found with remains of moose, horse, and reindeer (in one case an entire reindeer carcass) in their stomachs. Polar bear remains have also been recovered, though these are thought to be of bears that died from other causes.[13][45][40] The Greenland shark is known to be a scavenger and is attracted by the smell of rotting meat in the water. The sharks have frequently been observed lurking around fishing boats and herds of seals.[13]
Although such a large shark could easily consume a human swimmer, the frigid waters it typically inhabits make the likelihood of attacks on people very low. To date only one report exists of human predation by a Greenland shark. Around 1859 in Pond Inlet, Canada, a Greenland shark was caught reportedly containing a human leg in its stomach. This story, however, was never scientifically investigated and remains unverified.[13]â
Citations
Global warming may not be the only threat to the polar bear. Scientists are puzzling over the discovery of the jawbone of a young polar bear
Somniosus microcephalus (Greenland shark) | INFORMATION | Animal Diversity Web
FLMNH Ichthyology Department: Greenland Shark
An in-depth introduction to a popular species of marine mammal and the various habitats in which it can be found. Annotation. Killer Whales
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Dame Archer kicks McDougalâs Scots ass there in the rain at the Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire - August 11, 2018 - Photo by Douglas Herring
Oh NO.
me, a sheltered noblewoman: Pray who is that brave knight? Dame Archer:*turns around* me: gasp! *instantly in love*
Alicia Archer
my bi heartâŚâŚâŚ
IâVE NEVER SEEN THE ADDED PICS
*dies*
Oh shit.
GAY KNIGHTS
Fellas Iâm real gay
@0hheytherebigbadwolf HELP!!
Every June this inevitably winds up back on my dash. And I appreciate that. And I will reblog it. Every time.
Hey, itâs @archerinventive, and the Pride Knights!
when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they werenât really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)
anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.
i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? whatâd you get? so i showed her, and i was like, âIâm not sure why itâs a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.â
and my mom, who was some form of ministerâs wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks iâm joking.
âWhat?â i say.
ââŚitâs a cock and a pussy, Jules,â she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.
I love how every June this one gets dug up and passed around again, lmao.
oh no is this what weâre doing now
âŚrelicâŚ
*crumbles and blows away on the wind*
