Yet Improving

To recover, you literally need to manually learn skills that most people learn as a toddler

You need to learn what makes your body uncomfortable, and what to do to fix it

If you are high-masking, that usually means that you have learned to ignore every distress signal your body sends unless it is a distress signal that a neurotypical person would recognize. People have likely been unintentionally gaslighting you about your lived experience your entire life

If you feel bad or panicked for no reason, stop and try to pay attention to your body. Are you tense? You are likely feeling physical pain somewhere. If you've been gaslit about your pain your entire life, you might not be able to identify it.

Go through a sensory checklist.

SIGHT: Try closing and covering your eyes. If this gives you relief, the lights are probably too bright. You may also need differently-colored lights

SOUND: Cover your ears. Does this give you relief? If so, you may need earplugs or noise canceling headphones. You may also benefit from a neutral or pleasant background noise, like soft music or brown noise.

TOUCH: Are your clothes uncomfortable? Your chair? Your body? Do you feel greasy, like you need a shower? Do you need softer, sensory-friendly clothing?

TASTE: Do you need to brush your teeth or tongue? Would chewing on something help?

SMELL: Is there a strong or unpleasant smell in the room? Do you need to clean or empty a trash can? Would an air purifier help? Would a pleasant smell like a candle help?

INTEROCEPTION: Are you hungry? Thirsty? Tired? How is your posture? Are any of your muscles tight or sore? Scan your body slowly from head to feet, tensing and loosening each group of muscles. Going for a walk or doing a series of quick stretches may help a lot.

Learning how to do this stuff is not intuitive, if you've had an entire lifetime of gaslighting telling you that everything hurting you isn't a big deal and you're being dramatic over nothing.

This takes time, it takes work, it's not intuitive, and it's hard. Most people forget how hard it is, because they learned this as toddlers.

Eva Stratt who insisted on being the first to be tested for the comatose gene

Eva Stratt who made sure the ship computer knew the crew's exact coffee orders, even Grace, down to the most precise measurements

Eva Stratt who illegally acquired thousands of video games for the hail mary crew, despite the fact they'd be in a coma for the majority of the trip

Eva Stratt who sent a school teacher into space because she knew he was a fundamentally good man

Eva Stratt who would betray the closest thing she had to a friend because she knew there was no other choice

Eva Stratt who would do anything to save the Earth, no matter the cost

Eva Stratt who desperately wished she could be the one to make the sacrifice instead

Eva Stratt who couldn't, no matter how much she wanted to

Eva Stratt who studied history, and had seen the way the world would become

Eva Stratt who was terrified by it

Eva Stratt who knew she would would go without credit

Eva Stratt who knew no statues would be built of her

Eva Stratt who knew she would never be a hero

Eva Stratt who did it all anyway

Things end up going smoothly, and the animal is pretty cute! It looks like nothing Grace has ever seen before, and he's well aware it could obliterate his bones if it suddenly charged at him. But it's quite small, and it makes adorable noises.

All this is my excuse for Rocky to have his first experience hearing the absurd baby talk so many of us do with animals lol.

Grace's voice pitches up and down wildly, cooing and spouting incoherent words. He strokes the barrier between him and the creature, petting it as best he can, and for whatever reason, finds it necessary to say, "Who's a good little domesticated animal?? Yeeesss, it's you!"