- Marnie -

Your least most recent emoji predicts how your summer will end

BREAKING: German Expressionism Night at Citi Field has been canceled after player complaints that the large, abstract set-pieces and haunted, gloomy-looking actors were obstructing play. Czech New Wave Night is still set for next week, though Mets players and fans have now been advised in advance to be aware of any extended metaphors for interwar Europe that may occur between innings.

what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward

prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 is a locked room murder mystery that cleverly implicates the audience by acting around them, but never at them, leading them to feel like they’re being ignored for some reason. Hate? Jealousy? Revenge? It all becomes clear at the end of the show when Dave Malloy, who here plays Josh Groban, is found crushed under seat 8C, showing the audience that they were the previously unmentioned comet and murderer this entire time. Such avant garde techniques have garnered acclaim from both the avant garde crowd, as well as the old fart crowd who heard the word opera in the opening number, who together make up enough people to half-fill a Broadway theatre on a good night. Writer/star Dave Malloy asks important questions such as who lives? Who dies? Who tells your story? The answer in all cases being him.

My copy of Richard III does not have a [*Clarence dies*] stage direction so I’m going to assume that he’s absolutely fine in that wine barrel

you can experience life altering devastating emotion and then your cat will throw up next to you & look at you like does this help ?

wait a minute...........wait..... are ALL of us people pleasers??!!

the clock app always picks the numbers for you but in calculator the numbers can be anything you want

Man at my job just told me to “hold your little horsies just a little longer ☺️” about the task I’ve been waiting for him to complete or at the very least update me on for six weeks. Brendan, I will fuck your adult son. You’re gonna start seeing me at family Christmas. Horsies in tow.