Future Twi @future-twi - Tumblr Blog

calware

sure what's the worst that could happen

sasukemexicano

@uranium

uranium

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coffee-and-cusswords

babygirl you look like an absolute angel tonight (there is a streetlight behind you and i have astigmatism)

hollanderozanov

MEN IN BLACK (1997) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

nostrem

Kitten Kofu tackling a screaming J has got to be one of my favourite images ever

nostrem

This one

finally-figured-it-out

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

finally-figured-it-out

There once was a man from Verdun

genteelblackhole42

There once was a man from the sticks Whose limericks stopped at line six. They were fine till line five Then they took quite a dive — But the problem is easy to fix If you just ignore the last line, it doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I've really lost control of this thing I'm so sorry...

shredsandpatches

There once was a man

From Cork who got limericks

And haiku confused.

ruckuscauser

There once was a man from the sticks

Who liked to compose limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short

rat-girl-big-tits

@limerickshere

fremedon

There once was a fellow named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He replied, "Yes, I know-- It's because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

paulgadzikowski

On Tumblr did lasses and lads Their way with fail poetry had. You're having your fun But you're fooling no one - It takes skill to do something this bad.

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algorithmsoflatecapitalism

Unpleasant_(interface)_design

mayflower-gal

THERE’S A SEQUEL TO THE HORRIBLE VOLUME SLIDER POST

marlinspirkhall

The horrible volume slider post is amusing. This post needs to be locked in a vault to prevent psychic damage.

browningtons

o-kurwa

Allah fed him

odd-vox

The glory of Allah rendered this man unable to speak

tiktoks-for-dead-pope

gothjeffskinner

They actually made a formal set of guidelines for practice practice aboard ISS when the first Malaysian astronaut got to go to space!

coolwitchaunt

Planetes, by Yukimura Makoto

homunculus-argument

It annoys me unreasonably when you want to ask people "what bird and what mammal would make the worst gryphon" as a fun thought exercise, and people with no joy and no imagination always interpret it as "a gryphon that sucks, is physically impossible, and would hate being alive", and - being predictable and lacking in imagination - always, always answer with "a hummingbird and a blue whale lol".

Like come on. Why do you have to suck the fun out of everything. Why not use a fraction of imagination and delightful whimsy. Imagine the combination of a mouse and a sparrow. That creature would be merciless, burtal, absolutely determined to get into your trash and has the power of both wings and hands to do its will. Or a crow and a cat - that thing is smart enough to fuck with people and not afraid to do it. Imagine the ungodly shriek of the noble fox-seagull, also determined to get into your trash.

A gryphon that is a combination of a kangaroo and a cassowary. The only proof we have of a loving god is the fact that those things do not exist. If hell is real, it's full of them. That thing can't fly, but it will run you down, it will kill you, and you will look stupid the whole entire time you're dying.

Why would the first thing that pops into your mind at the words "the worst gryphon" automatically be "a gryphon that hates being alive". Can you not picture a gryphon that fucking loves being alive, and has both the power and the will to make it everyone else's problem.

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gay-irl

cryptotheism

i don't need to take this from some dumb bitch with no cutie mark

frottinq

brucebocchi

zwoelffarben

marco3173-deactivated20240805

obscureoldguy

Change jobs. Quickly.

mrskayathefrog

the last one was good, they were all doing stretches! that's important

prismatic-bell

Yeah, the last one is good. The others…I have so many questions I don’t want answers to.

radwolf76

@osha-official-2

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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memewhore

knitmeapony

This is no joke one of the most profoundly terrifying things I've ever watched

nudityandnerdery

I physically flinched, goddamn.

chaoticsgood

he sees you when you're sleeping

HE KNOWS WHEN YOU'RE AWAKE

tinglerer

Terrifying!!!

cikero

fexalted

[video description: researchers dressed in orange snowsuits trying to capture a penguin for tagging, while football music (the NFL on Fox theme) plays for dramatic effect.

the penguin is sliding over the snow on its belly. the first researcher runs after it and dives onto their stomach trying to tackle it, but doesn't manage to grab it. a second researcher enters the shot from the left and grabs the penguin, but it easily slips away and the researcher also falls onto their stomach.

the first researcher reenters the frame, dropping to their knees to grab the penguin in a bear hug, while their hat, attached to their coat by a cord, whips around and smacks them in the face. the penguin flaps its wings and wriggles out of the hold. a third researcher in the back of the shot moves forward quickly and grabs the penguin as the second researcher reenters the frame with a blue, penguin-sized bag. there is a quick cut to the two of them maneuvering the penguin into the bag before the video ends.]

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