The Queer Post
AKA The rainbow problem
Another day, another moment to vent about something that’s been bothering me. There’s a lot of these Questions lately, while I try to make pieces fit into the larger puzzle (blame my autism I guess).
This one’s gonna be long as usual, but hopefully not too meandering. (Slight Content warning for mentions of homophobia in this post.)
Something interesting has been happening. I suggested in a pre-Met commentary that Hudson was going to show up in a more queer way, as a milestone on his journey to slowly (very slowly) reveal more of his rainbow colors. Imagine my Delight when he not only wore a bold outfit, he wore a FULL FACE of makeup and openly wore his expensive man on his arm for most of the night. Wow! Alright, you do your thing babe.
I noticed an immediate shift in online commentary. Typically at events, the buzz around Hudson is as follows: “He’s so hot, too bad he’s the straight one” (Gag.) or worse, calling him a queerbaiter. Thing is, this time around? New comments entered the discussion. We saw an old favorite return from the SNL discussions (“Are those two dating?”) and a new one picking up more speed - “Is he the straight one? he looks gay.”
Being as nosy as I am (it’s a curse), I notice a lot of the discussion about Huds from the general public. There’s been rumblings of “Is he gay” here and there before, but the consensus following Met has been this significant shift of “maybe he is” and many just opting to not mention it, because they’re confused. I get a good laugh out of some of his haters arguing amongst themselves.
Thing is, I believe this is what he wants. I have for a while, and I still do. For whatever personal reason, he’s not openly coming out (and he doesn’t have to) but he wants us to see his queerness. I can’t imagine how grating it is to be the “straight” half of the power couple you are IN. Whatever you believe on his status with Connor, it must bewilder both of them to engage in nearly the exact same behavior and witness only one of them being pinged as queer. Hudson is actually more assertive in expressing his fondness for men, as if he’s got more to prove. Only one of them has been photographed caressing men, sitting in their laps, licking them, kissing them.. oh you get it.
Besides all of that, I was viewing Met as a big turning point for Hudson. I still do. I commented earlier on him recoiling from that snappy comment about his OOC voice in the GRWM, and I’ve broken down his RPF comment in a few ways. (And I’ll comment on it again in a second.) But what’s missing from several of the discussions is the damage this expanding discourse is doing to Hudson’s image as a queer man.
Here’s the thing about Hudcons. Yes, we love both of our wonderful guys. Many of us love the relationship we’re witnessing unfolding, too, because it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that Something is Afoot. There’s been an aggressive skewering on a certain SM app against anyone who dares whisper talk of the Obvious Relationship Happening, which means that a lot of other well-meaning discussions are getting crushed and silenced, too.
I don’t know if Hudson’s realized he’s done this part. When I said he’d put his foot in it, this is what I mean. The way that statement spread into other subjects that he potentially didn’t want silenced. We’re scared to talk about his obvious fondness for his favorite person. But we’re scared to talk about his open exploration of his sexuality, too. People are catching heat for saying he’s queer, because of Course, to a lot of his hudcels, they can’t separate that part of him from whatever’s going on with Connor. I suspect that a lot of them are scared of the Rainbow topic because if we pull back that curtain, many pieces fall into place that don’t point towards K. They point to a queer man living it up, building his queer social circle, and exploring comprising situations with his incredibly hot and loved-on male friend.
Better to just turn a blind eye, right? Take the wizard of oz at his word and keep walking.
I assume a lot in these posts. I know that. I’m a queer person, so it makes it difficult to not interpret his movements through that lens. But I will say this. Anyone that’s still Wondering if he’s straight is missing something, or being willfully obtuse.
The biggest joke about the wave of homophobic hudcels (and there are MANY) is that it implies a nasty version of Hudson that mocks his queer friends, teases his queer best friend for kicks, caresses and touches him as a joke, and mocks himself as a queer character. But in this ugly version of Hudson, that man is Easily in love with his girlfriend. That man is clean and tidy, because he would never be tempted to do anything Serious with that hot stud he’s glued to. Forcing him into that box keeps their fantasy safe of him never being That controversial or rocking the boat in that kind of way.
But that’s not reeeeeallll, that’s not real life! God it makes me irritated. I’m finding it grating that “he means what he said” re: RPF doesn’t also apply to his previous comments, then? Does he.. not find Connor sexy? Does he not want to get freaky in the trophy room? If we take him at his word 100%, surely nothing is off the table then? Believe him, then?
I do want to talk about the bathroom picture. You know the one. The SINK. Connor posed in a sexual way, performing a sexually suggestive act, in a private bathroom. We’ve all seen it. We’ve all noticed that the framing of the picture is… by choice, a certain innuendo. Taken by Hudson, because of course they both got a kick out of it. (Freak4freak, love yall)
Here’s the thing I kept turning over in my head. Why share it? Why not keep it as a laugh between the two of them?
I keep fixating on this next point. I’ve said it before - and this is why my heart aches for Hudson, because I don’t think he wanted ALL of the Hudcon discussion to be locked down. I think he snapped because he needed space, he wanted less eyes on his every move - and I think his biggest shippers (many of them queer) taking their cake and falling silent is going to diminish what he wants to do re: Connor.
There’s something in common in a lot of the pictures he shares of them two. Granted, it’s the same thing we witness in most pictures he takes with a hot man. I realized it earlier and had a good laugh.. This is the best example:
The body language is LOUD. The way he leans in. His low eyes, him literally making a sexual expression. His body PRESSED against him (admittedly this is a Hudcon specific thing, much more frequent with then two of them than anyone else. I wonder why..).
There’s a lot of talk about Connor claiming Hudson when he keeps his hands on him in public. Absolutely. But Hudson doesn’t just claim Connor - he flaunts him. He shows him off. The common stories of them being touchy with each other are one thing, but a theme has emerged, especially from these Met photos. Connor doesn’t sexualize Hudson in public, apart from cute things like some of their jokes. Hudson frequently sexualizes his interactions with Connor. He claims Connor.
In the beginning of their timeline, we saw a more balanced flirtation back and forth. But since Connor has largely went silent - and since they’ve seemingly fallen into their dynamic, Hudson is the one still leading the charge. He chose that sexual bathroom photo. He chose this tongue-licking afterglow vibes pic, too. Why?
I do believe he wants us to see it. If he has a chip on his shoulder about being misperceived, he especially could get salty at implications that Connor isn’t his. He’s watching the entire world eye his man like a prize, and if he can’t tell you that man is his, he’ll show you. If you think he’s too straight to land a man like Connor, he’ll prove you wrong.
So much of their gossip seems to hinge on a young, inexperienced couple not only being buzzy and obsessed with each other, but with a slice of voyeurism. Why is there minimal discretion, actually? Contrary to what many of his rude stans are loudly saying, I don’t think Hudson particularly cares if we Notice a few things. I think him and Connor find it fun, maybe even amusing to be slightly perceived, to be buzzy with each other. I think they both enjoy being viewed in that sensational, seductive sort of light together.
Unlike many, I don’t think RPFgate was a big shock to Hudson. I think that comment, although impulsive, reflected thoughts he’s been ruminating on for a while. He might speak impulsively, but he doesn’t Think impulsively. There’s a difference. His comment, whatever the hell he specifically meant (lord send the flood..), reflected thoughts he’s had for a while. So why did Mr “Please perceive me being hot and sexy with my hot man,” tell us to stop perceiving them?
He didn’t.
The more I ruminate on this, the more it feels like a “Back off” and not a specific commentary on almost anything else. I do still think he got agitated by the rude comments about K. Yeah, but I think more than that, he doesn’t want us to Perceive him so closely that we see the cracks in whatever he’s trying to preserve right now.
He wants us to see him. He wants us to see him with Connor. He wants us to see exactly what he’s shown us over the last several months. But it’s a perception question. The problem with showing people slices of your life is that they get greedy. They start demanding more of you, and twisting what you’ve said. And then you can’t control your narrative anymore. That’s what I think he’s mad at.
Song choice of the day is Michael’s Leave Me Alone. 🤫
He loves his fans - the ones that care for him and support him genuinely. He loves the spotlight. He loves sharing his world with us. But he wants everyone to take a step back, to let him share what he wants to share, and respect what he wants to keep hidden. Unfortunately, the painful lesson he’ll have to learn is that fame doesn’t work that way.
This may feel random, but walk with me. I want to circle back to the statement he said about K, “She doesn’t want to be perceived.” I have found that curious ever since I heard it. And to an extent, I do believe it’s true. But he said that with a conviction - I think he was telling on himself. An accidental truth that he understood, from one person to another.
I think the two of them agree on that point - I think he wants to be perceived as Hudson, the glittering and beautiful star, while Hudson Williams, the humble Canadian that is trying his best to keep his old life intact, can continue living his life.
I’m so sorry to him, honestly. I think he’s running from big changes that are rattling him, and eventually the house will come down. But do not despair, he’ll be okay. It’s just going to be a messy evolution in the meantime.
I’ll just say.. a lot of these nasty solos are going to need humble tea to wash down their pride once all this dust clears.
