iβm always saying this

shark vs the universe

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
we're not kids anymore.
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@secretly-bea
iβm always saying this

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I do think it's kind of funny how john green wrote a book about tuberculosis that brought a lot of renewed attention to the subject and he's since become the darling of the tb world, speaks at tb conferences, my dad and every other tb researcher I know is absolutely smitten with him, and they'll be like "we love this guy! have you heard of him??" and I have to be like well yes, I have. for other reasons
The βencrapificationβ of the American pint β a chemistβs plain-language dissection
Really good article by a chemist on why most ice cream sucks nowβ itβs because itβs not really ice cream.
part of me wants to be like "do people really not know this" and part of me knows full well i only read the labels because i have gut problems and don't want to suffer
anyway i've had my eye on the fat content for years. actual ice cream made with real cream won't trigger my lactose intolerance, because the higher the fat content of dairy, the lower the lactose content. my personal tipping point is around half-and-half so if you make "ice cream" with with skim milk, the enshittification i experience is unfortunately literal
One womanβs quest to figure out why her beloved white cheddar popcorn started to disappoint.
also reminded me of this great piece about how cheddar was dropped from the third ingredient of Smartfood popcorn to the seventh

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your summer camp shenanigans remind me of when we had a stick cult multiple years in a row which we had to keep shutting down
I need to hear about Stick Cult please
okay stick cult is FAR less insidious than it seems- but it's what stick cult stood for was the issue.
see, we generally have a rule that if you wanna pick up a stick, it has to be the length of or shorter than your elbow to the tip of your finger. which stick cult followed for a long time! they battled gently with sticks, or marched around with them, or built castles. it was a pretty good way for them to spend their breaktimes. sometimes we'd have a stick thrown into the coyote or fox enclosure, or theyd chant 'stick cult stick cult stick cult' too loud and we'd have to tell them off, but it was pretty okay for ~3 years. it got passed down from older kids to younger, etc.
all that was fine, until the Fire Nation Rock Cult attacked. see the rock cult was exactly the same as the stick cult- but with rocks. and we dont have a lot of big rocks on site, but we have a lot of gravel- and you can't really play fight with rocks the same as you can with sticks- but you can throw them. and rock cult was INSISTENT on usurping stick cult, to the point where we had multiple friendships end (for the day) due to it. we also got gravel in some kids eyes- it was a whole issue. then stick cult started picking up bigger sticks in retaliation and we had to stop the whole thing altogether
eventually (due to conservative parent complaints) the cults had to be ended. they lived on in spirit in rock castle & stick crew, who we eventually convinced to work together on building a large eagle sized bird nest on the decommissioned well.
it lives on in tales told from older sibling to younger, from counselor to counselor- supposedly, a real eagle used the nest on the well after they built it
A children's cult building a shrine of out of rocks and sticks to summon an eagle god would make a great Studio Ghibli movie
Long before the introduction of color film, a Russian chemist and photographer named Sergey Prokudin-Gorsky used an innovative technique. He took three individual black and white photos, each through a colored filter (red, green, and blue), to create fully colored, high-quality pictures. The photo of this woman, taken by him, is around 107 years old!
No wait I looked this guy up and this shitβs amazing
Itβs so incredibly humanizing to see people from the very distant past in such authentic color
And like. look at these landscape shots!! Theyβre so vivid!! Even aside from the historical value, these are just legitimately beautiful photographs
Please enjoy the infectious laughter of the Australian senate struggling to keep its composure while grilling a man about bee semen
Regularly forget we posted this and then are hit like a brick with notifications like this one
I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."
My anthro professor has three forbidden words for his essays: problematic, interesting, and large. Point being theyβre all filler words, he wants you to just skip straight to why itβs interesting or why itβs problematic. But anyway, any time I disagree with him in class I say to him βmm, interesting, but largely problematic.β

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[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]
this is one of my favorite reddit posts of all time
God forbid Chippy do anything
You absolutely must unmute this video.
yk guys I think a lot of ppl when arguing against the death penalty go for a like "people don't deserve death, etc" view and I get why ppl argue for that I rly do! but it doesn't matter. I don't trust the government to do it, I don't trust them to decide who should die, I don't trust them to determine who is mentally competent, I don't trust them to not be bigoted and discriminatory in their practices, I don't trust them to have the right people, I don't trust them to execute it in a humanitarian way. and I've had discussions with ppl who otherwise have similar viewpoints to me in many ways but can think of people they think deserve to die, and I think if abolishing the death penalty is like, a super important cause to u the same way it is to me, the argument u use shouldn't be "well these people deserve to live" (although in some cases I think yeah the death penalty is done to people who totally don't "deserve it") because that's so subjective, it should be "do you trust the government to do it?" like, do you trust the people who cant even fill potholes on your road to determine who should and should not live
literally this. iβm not anti-death penalty because i think no one deserves to die. i can think of plenty of people who absolutely deserve that exact fate. but those people are never the ones actually receiving the death penalty. in fact, many of them are responsible for inflicting it on others, or at least upholding and reinforcing the prison-industrial complex
Spin the wheel. That's who's trying to kill you.
Spin the wheel again. Thatβs whoβs trying to protect you.
(If you have zero idea about a name you got, spin until you see someone you recognize.)
Are you safe?
Absolutely not. I'm dead. 100% dead.
I might stay alive, but it'll be a really close thing.
I'll take some hits, for certain, but I should be okay in the end.
A few attacks might get through, but nothing concerning.
The attacker might be able to get in one lucky hit. If that.
I am the opposite of worried. I'm 100% safe.
β¦Look. I've tried picturing this. But I honestly don't know how to answer.
(I've run this poll twice before, expanding it significantly for the second run. With about a year passed since that second run, I thought it was time to add another couple hundred names to the list and have another go.)
Video of me trying to write the number 3 in professor layton game for 1 minute
this fucking video has two punchlines it's incredible

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man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great
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