hot pipe and cigar smoking and tobacco chewing men

This one 30 second clip summarises House and Wilson's entire relationship/dynamic; let me explain.

House is doing something both immoral and illegal. Smoking indoors is illegal enough, let alone smoking INSIDE A DAMN HOSPITAL! Which is also immoral and unethical. It's also unprofessional, considering House is on duty. Seeing a patient/visitor lighting up could be put down to either ignorance of how bad that is, or them not caring. Seeing a doctor do it is something else! Not to mention the doubly immorality (and irony) or smoking in an ONCOLOGISTS office - ya know, with smoking being a major risk factor for developing cancer, and all that. (Also; ya know who knows that more then anybody? Wilson, the head oncologist. Just saying) Not to mention, burning money, which House is doing here, is also illegal. All these laws stand in New Jersey, where 'House M.D' is set, (yes I googled it. I'm English. I dunno much about the states).

So James, "head oncologist, known goody-two-shoes, Never Done A Thing Wrong In His Life" Wilson, sees his bestie breaking at least three laws, crossing several ethical and moral boundaries, and gives a feeble, "we can't smoke in here."

Notice: WE can't smoke. Not "you." Not "House you maniac, YOU can't smoke in here, put that out!" WE can't smoke. Even as Wilson says this, he KNOWS he's going to smoke with House. He's just giving this fake protest so that he can tell others, and, most importantly, himself, that he said something, that he TRIED to stop the loose canon that is House, but House is gonna House. Nobody is going to blame poor, innocent, easily-manipulated Wilson for being swept away and 'controlled' by the evil, dominating, controlling House. This is all bullshit and we know it, but that's what people THINK of Wilson. They think he's this sweet innocent little cutie pie who's caught up in the human tornado that is Gregory House. Wilson is an actor; he pretends to be this picture perfect person. He's the ultimate people pleaser who does what he thinks everybody wants him to do and be. He's got a golden reputation and the world's highest high horse that he refuses to climb down from. However, he and House both know that Wilson's little act is all bullshit. Wilson is often MORE of a freak then House himself. Wilson LIVES for the chaos, the rule breaking, the going-against the grain. House is like the humanised form of all of Wilson's inner desires. House says what he wants and does what he wants. Deep down, Wilson wants to be as wild as House, but he can't/won't let himself, so he's Silently Wild while House is Loudly Wild. They're both wild, adrenaline junkies who match each others freak SO damn hard. So Wilson's little 'we can't smoke in here' is equivalent to this:

Willy Wonka, famously, gives negative 10 billion shits right here, and that's obvious. He wants Mike TV to go use his equipment. But, to be able to say "he tried" to stop Mike, Wonka gives this deadpan yell. That's literally what Wilson is doing. If House was genuinely like, "oh damn, you right," and put the cigar out, Wilson would malfunction windows-shut-down-noise style and we all know it. He wants to join in, and he can't join in without House. Wilson would never start the cigar smoking or any other rule-breaking, because he doesn't want to be seen as the bad one, so he uses House as an scapegoat, an excuse to do whatever the fucks he wants.

Ya know, who knows all this better then anyone? House. Notice how House doesn't even react to Wilson's little fake protest. Anybody else would react in some way, a 'do you really want me to stop?' or 'we can go outside?' or 'you know you wanna join in.' Something. He just points out that they also can't get people into the clinic based on a petty bet, which is something Wilson did in this very episode. Wilson put a patient through the clinic to try to prove House wrong about something, with a £100 on the line. He's pointing out that Wilson is just as much of a rule breaker as he is. Also notice: before House says this, Wilson has already sat himself down beside House, and before House has even finished his point, Wilson has already stuck out his cigar for House to light on that same burning £100 bill. House doesn't even need to finish pointing out Wilson's fake hypocrisy before Wilson has started doing what he wanted to do all along; join in!

Then, in perfect synch, they cock their feet up on the table, kick back, relax, and take synchronised pleasurable puffs. House says, "well?" Well, is it good? Well, was it worth it? Well, how's your acting job tasting? And Wilson says, "disgustingly satisfying." It's disgustingly satisfying to break the rules, to indulge in this pure pleasure without worrying about anybody or anything else, the way House does. To say 'fuck it' to all laws, morality, ethics, reputation and rules. To just be, here, in this moment, having fun with his best friend/soulmate/husband.

This sums up their entire relationship. They're Loudly A Bastard (House) and Quietly A Bastard (Wilson), and this clip proves it. To anyone who says/believes that Wilson is this doe-eyed little Bambi, controlled by the big bad wolf that is House, I hope this proves that he's Hell On Wheels too!

Full clip: https://youtu.be/gfb3axuDtvk?list=PLVpMeJVI2LHul8_M2KfDifDobawxpakaP

Note/ SPOILER FOR EPISODE/clip:

Season 8 Episode 9 ''Better Half''

*

*

*