I love you. I’m glad I exist.

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

Starting a new sports team called the Tampa Bay Trespassers and they play any sport that they can break onto the field of

imagine being a dog and you think your chances are pretty good. and then you look over and there's Mitski getting her wallet out

i hope the original author sees this thread go by (or y'all are leaving comments on ao3), there is a A LOT of love in the tags and they absolutely deserve it

hey, I'm isaac chotiner I wrote this! I thought a small handful of people might enjoy it and instead it is by some margin the most popular thing I've ever posted on ao3. two key takeaways: 1) the people crave affectionate fidelity to the new yorker style guide, and 2) yuletide rules

Matt Levine linked to my fic in Money Stuff and described it as "Isaac Chotiner/Shirley Jackson fan fiction," I feel like I'm on drugs and/or hallucinating

what the actual fuck did I just read (positive)

surprisingly forward-thinking of jim henson and co. to make a female character in the 70's that's allowed to be loud-mouthed and violent and kind of overwhelmingly romantic and even a huge bitch at times and not have a moment where any character asks her to change

going through all the muppet movies in a row made me realize that like. miss piggy was made in the 70's. and it's so rare even today to have a character like her. she's loud, she's selfish, she's funny, she's extremely vain, she's obsessed with romance, she's violent, she's kind of annoying, and there's not a single moment in any of these films where she's asked to tone down any of these personality traits. i am not joking when i say that miss piggy might be one of the best treated female characters ever written

you might be on to something, I've never heard Miss Piggy being called problematic either

one of the funniest things about coaching little kids that i didnt think about until it happened is that theyre literally just too short to see the zamboni over the wall. they dont even really believe me that the zamboni exists because they only see it like once a month when i pick them up like simba to look at it. a week later they forget and then every time i talk about the zamboni they look at me like they’re in the middle of figuring out that the tooth fairy is not real. theyre all supposed to wait at the gate before practice for the zamboni to be done but the five year olds will stand there one foot away from the running zamboni and go I Think It’s Done. It’s Been A Long Time :) and try to push the door open right in front of it. they uave no clue at all. the only way they can figure it out semi independently is if theres an eight year old over there to meerkat for them but it does really quickly turn into a situation where it’s one forlorn eight year old yelling THE ZAMBONI IS REAL!!!!! while a bunch of toddlers try to battering ram their way onto the ice to get trampled to death by the zamboni that they literally dont believe in

onto better things thursday

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

“what time do you get off?” well that’s not really any of your business now is it

do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time

indeed.com/careers/search/haunting_the_narrative

just had a really stable moment where i opened a redbull at the exact same second someone started playing industrial music in the apartment below and i briefly thought it was coming from inside the redbull can

people always make morgana a normal cat in persona 5 non-metaverse fanfics. stop doing this. morgana should not be a cat he should be joker's annoying younger brother who wears cat ears (but they are NOT cat ears, they are the ears of his epic OC Mona who is a PHANTOM THIEF and STEALS TREASURE) and who goes into Joker's room every night at 8pm to yell at him to read him a bedtime story before going to bed. It's also funnier this way because it means Ryuji has beef with an elementary schooler

ever since i was a child ive had a headache