this just in: heab hurt

“do you know where you’ll be headed in 5 years?” no. but i do know about themes and motifs. and friendship. and putting garlic on everything

I need a blowjob but I don’t have a penis or a strap on and I’m not taking off my pants so you’re just gonna have to figure it out

High key the nut vids use to be crazier. Wjht happened?

Nobodys busting hard no more

He’s got a point here, you just don’t see it anymore.

can you not play with his nasty ass corpse please.

getting characters into world-endingly intense codependent queerplatonic relationships is literally what life is all about. it is literally what we were put here on this earth to do

i went to eating enough food world and they're excited to meet you. keep eating lots of meals and snacks and take my hand! we can go there.

hey bro last night was really fun, i felt my inner flower bloom in your presence. sadly the only butterfly species with a long enough proboscis went extinct long ago. but i saw you ate that fruit cup without cutlery so maybe not all hope is lost

but babe you love being chained to the radiator

if she's your girl then why's she chopping carrots into my bath 😏

im a simple man i like when things are shaped like other things. stool shaped like a mushroom. pillows shaped like fruit. salt and pepper shaker shaped like two friends hugging. in my ideal world i will have a house stocked entirely with novelty objects shaped like other objects and it will be beautiful.

i love sluts i love perverts i love dykes i love faggots i love aromantics i love freaks i love librarians i love ibuprofen