Staying Silly

"This show is problematic because the hero didn't kill the villain at the end": When does he steal the bread?

"These two characters who were close friends throughout the series don't kiss at the end! What the fuck?": When does he steal the bread?

In 1982 Dustin Hoffman made a movie called ‘Tootsie’. It was a comedy about a male actor looking for work but a lot of the work was going to female actors. In an attempt to find work he transformed himself into the female form. It’s a great movie but the reasons Hoffman were inspiring and had an influence on my perspective. He asked the executives at Columbia Pictures to make him look l like a woman and if they couldn’t do it, then the picture wouldn’t be made. They were able to make him look like a woman but Hoffman wanted more. Dustin Hoffman stated:

“If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged.”

those do exist. or exist as a thing some blogs will do on certain days.

but if I don't know you and you're tagging me for Exposure assuming I have a giant follower count or something,

I will be blocking you.

obviously how effective this is varies wildly based on the relationship, or lack thereof, that you have with the other person. but I find it effective with people who are In Your Life but don't meaningfully have any control over you. quite often it DOES result in increased directness in the future, especially if it's something I end up doing fairly often. and it's not rude; I'm just politely seeking clarification about what is being communicated. it makes the person have to think about what effect they were expecting their behavior to have on my behavior, and then just... tell me straightforwardly. but without escalating the situation or making the person feel 'called out' most of the time.

She frequently makes requests by telling me what I want, eg "oh wouldn't you like to.." "don't you think it's be nice if..."

It used to drive me up the wall, but now as an adult with better understanding of what's happening I say "Actually I'm fine with x, but I'd be happy to do y if that's what you want?"

One day she actually asked me, "Why is it so important to you that I say that y is what I want?"

and i got to say "Well I don't like being told what I want. I have enough life experience to know my own desires and limitations, and I can advocate for them when I need to. However your opinions do matter to me and I want to take them into account. It's much less stressful for me to do so when I'm not guessing what's in your mind."

And folks, she Actually Listened.

Later that day she wanted something that ended up not being possible, but because she said so directly I was able to help her find a different way to achieve the same goal!